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Entry 1 of 335
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4/12/2008
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The follow up on who I am .
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Just wrote a piece on who I am and tried to explain and look into that the best that I could based on my past experiences and knowledge of myself but not an easy task. In doing so I did not include that how would someone know me without Knowing me , one way that came to mind is to look in my Itunes library and examine the contents of my music collection and examine the lyrics and by doing so they will discover the negativity and sad nature of my collection and it so very much explains what goes on within me, there are other ways of learning who I am , of course in the course of human relationships then one can discover parts of me but the truth is that nobody can understand the pain I feel, the regrets that I have , or the reality of me having to be me each and every day I am alive in this world.. The severe let downs and failures I feel in myself and the world as a whole , the fears and feelings of never quite measuring up to what is expected of me, The seemingly empty void that sits deep in the hollowness of my sou that never can seem to be satisfied. Nobody can feel that and that is a good thing because I would not wish what I feel even on my worst enemy. So, Who am I , who am I really ? I am trying to figure that answer all of the time, I have used drugs, alcohol, sex, travel and much more to discover myself and nothing has given me peace and understanding and some mental silence once and for all... |
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