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Entry 1 of 338
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4/13/2008
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Today and last night..
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Last night I did not have any outbursts as when I felt like I was going to then I just took a sleeping pill and dozed off, However Leo ( Gf ) woke me up at like 3-am saying that she needed me and such . I had no idea what was going on as I was in a seroquel coma where I knew she was speaking to me but was unable to process any of what she was saying or wanted , for those that know of this med I am sure they can relate to this state, Anyhow I asked her this morning what she wanted and what was wrong last and she said nothing and now she is just going around the house doing housework and not talking so I know that means something is up, I cannot tolerate when people are silent and do not talk to me and she knows this but does it anyway. We also had a talk last night about me possibly going to treatment for a few months and she did not approve , I do not think she understands the seriousness of what I am going through, I also share my feelings and she says nothing , I know she is a good girl but what the silence when I am in such pain ?? Why is she not supportive ? So, now this morning I am up and about to shower and get some breakfast and then go out and get on my laptop downtown and try to do some stuff like send out those emails that I have saved ( to docs and such ) and get ready to watch the game tonight . It makes me sad that Leo and I are falling apart but it is clearly evident that we are, living different lives and such , I see the signs. Although I do hope I am wrong , we have been through a lot together. |
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