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Entry 1 of 332
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4/15/2008
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Frustration creeping in..
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Right now I feel frustrated and quite lost , I mean today was a better day with going to the beach with Toby and that was nice but as Dr Phil said once ' You cannot fix a psychological problem with anything but a psychological solution' , so Toby and my Macbook and travel and family and friends and so on are great but they can only help make life easier , they can never fix my Bpd and problems . I feel this intense anxiety and feeling of having to jump out of my skin, this feeling of sadness and not wanting to be around anyone, fearing others and going outside.. I need treatment so badly I cannot even say how much, I mean I do not want to leave my life here but I hear of people who have this disorder that go to group therapy multiple times per week, see a doctor regularly and a therapist, are properly medicated, and have other forms of adequate support and treatment .. I have had nothing, not one single talk with a doctor ( if you don't count that quack I saw a few months ago in SF ) or any other professional in 8 or 9 months now.. It is now wonder I am having these problems , plus the detoxing from Meth again.. At least the Red Sox won tonight..I read this opinion a well known expert in the Bpd field wrote and it is the reality of having this disorder and not have the proper care ..and what can happen. Without adequate treatment, the illness is lifelong, and all too often ends in suicide. With good ongoing treatment, the outlook is very favorable indeed in many cases. |
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Ive seen a lot of doctors, mostly quacks, but you need to find a good one...
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