About Me
Recent Posts
- Update again ...
- Going through it again
- Another update on my life
- Inspiration in the air
- Toby : I love you !
Menu
Calendar
| Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | |
| 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | |||
Friends
Links
- My Wall
- bpdcentral
- Nimh BPD Info
- kci meth recovery community
- Another great and informative BPD site
- Meth recovery site
- My Other BPD site
Entry 1 of 331
Last Page | Next Page
4/15/2008
-
Why bother ??
|
I want to start writing about other things and possibly make a career out of blogging and writing but too often am too consumed by Bpd and all of it's horrible effects that It is all that I can think or write about.. Bpd is my life and controls everything in it. It has been said that borderlines have so much potential, often more than Non borderlines . The fact is that is that we often are so wrapped up in our own personal struggles that we are unable to tap into such talents and thus are trapped in this tunnel vision where the only thing we can see is our own pain and thus it becomes our only reality . I know I can do many great things with my life but my OCD and ADHD also get in the way, I have such a strong love and belief in God but I tell you, he sure made some mistakes when he created me , I mean God is perfect so it couldn't be mistakes but he sure did give me some challenges to overcome; Bpd, depression , OCD, ADHD , Anxiety, Addictions ; as well as poverty and everything else I am faced with daily.. They say that God does not give you more than you can handle but I cannot handle all of what I have been given, or at least I do not care to. So, will Bpd consume me for the rest of my days, will Bpd take my life from me , will I recover; is that even possible ?? These are all questions that I am faced with and to be honest I haven't the slightest clue to any of the answers, so now what ?? Where does this leave me . What is next ?? I am just full of questions huh ? I just need some support, I am tired of doing it on my own, I cannot do it on my own anymore, call me weak or not insightful enough but I surrender and I need professional help and I will do whatever it takes to get that help, No I cannot afford to pay $30 grand for a month of treatment and who even knows if it will work but I need to do something to get help for my mass amount of issues, drug addictions and psych defects , If I do not then I will not be around for my GF , family, friends, or Toby.. I fully realize the seriousness of how far down I have fallen and how it will not stop until I get help.. Where do I start in the healing process , things are so bad, the pain is deeply imbedded that I ask myself often, 'Why bother ? '. |
Post A Comment! :: Send to a Friend! |
I'm just dead within, got nothing more to offer.
Im so tired of being sad.
Permanent Link