Living on the Border !!! - How I could possibly get better.- JournalHome.com

Living on the Border !!! - How I could possibly get better.- JournalHome.com Living on the Border !!!

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4/16/2008 - How I could possibly get better.

Borderlines have a very futile life as there is nothing that they can do to win the war that rages on within them , society does not understand them nor wants anything to do with them most times, even their closest family and friends do not completely understand what they go through or why they act how they do. Those who have this illness have the very difficult task of tackling their disorder against insurmountable odds that they can ever get better, with treatment being the astronomical fees that it is and options limited as to who will work with them there is little hope of getting better . In my opinion many borderlines do not recover fully and must decide if living a life that can never be full and consistent is worth all of the pain that will come their way, whether enjoying the little moments in between the rages and explosions is enough or does the all or nothing thinking take over here as well and do they decide to give up if they cannot be 100 % happy all of the time ??

Living in a world that places such high expectations on people and who judges people so easily is difficult for anyone but for the borderline who is already highly critical of themselves and whom never think they can accomplish anything anyway is a painful, dark place and for the borderline this place is so very real yet sometimes it is not real at all , like much of their so futile existence . I myself have come to see that it is virtually impossible to control every aspect of my disorder and self and if I try to do it all then I will fail and be in more pain, but if I take certain steps to take care of myself then I have a chance, if not to get better than at least to stay alive. Here are a few ways I can possibly get better if I follow them through and do not fall into the traps of my disease.

1- Stay completely away from alcohol and street drugs
2-Stay OUT of a romantic relationship ( this is where my illness really shows itself )
3-Start and stay in treatment , get a doctor who is an expert in Bpd, skilled therapist, and get on the right medications to manage the symptoms that can be so painful and make the illness worse.
4- Stay away from stressful people and situations, stress I have learned sets me off and makes everything worse.
5- Get plenty of sleep, relaxation, and ME time - If I am not rested and relaxed then I am open to unhealthy behaviors.
6- Reward myself when I do good things like stay sober for x amount of days or have small achievements ..Pamper myself when I can as It is important to remind myself that I am worthy and deserve the best..
7-Be aware of my behaviors and triggers and try to stay calm and in control, away from people who will bring me down, situations that will produce anxiety and so on.
8.-Read, learn, and understand my disorder the best that I can. The more I know then the better chance I have of healing.
9-Have a purpose when I wake up each day; a project or goal that I wish to accomplish ; stay out of my head as much as I can.

If I can follow these steps then maybe, just maybe I will have a shot at getting better but if I cannot then I know where I will be headed, down the path of destruction and pain. Borderlines have a long, difficult road to travel and can only recover with the proper care as this illness does not just go away on it's own, without help we are doomed as one cannot control something in their brain on their own as it damages those very parts of the mind that help us control and rationalize. With care then we can learn to love and care for ourselves once again..This is not easy but maybe by taking these steps and surrendering our own will than we can recover one day at a time.