Living on the Border !!!
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4/17/2008
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Yesterday's feelings
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Today I just was online most of the day and then found out that I may lose my disability payments and that worried me but all ended up being OK after I called the states , it obviously added to my stress but I just went back to my little table at the bar and continued my online activities, I just love this Mac and everything it can do so I never want to get off of it. Hopefully one day I will have access at home so I do not have to hang out in bars all the time, not conductive to my sobriety at all.. I worry about losing the Mac when it gets a scratch on the screen such as it has now or whatever , I just love it. I feel kind of down as usual but I hope with some sleep I can feel better , that is the hope but not always the case. I guess now I will Attempt to go read my Dog book and just relax before bed, I have to do what I can to take care of myself as I do not have many resources or much of a support system here. I hope to create my own support and care system soon with some medicines and maybe therapy with the English doc once or twice a month as well as all of my online support. I really need it now as I feel I am holding on by the skin of my teeth, I hope things change soon. |
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