1. You don't bother picking up after your dog. Or yourself, especially on the beach. This is someone else's job. 2. You hate the Germans, the Jews, the Moroccans and the Turks. The rest of the world you merely look down upon - especially the Americans. 3. You don't particularly like working too hard, and you think people in English-speaking countries are insane to work as hard as they do. 4. You think you speak English. You know you don't speak French but you like to pretend you do. You understand German more than you like to admit. 5. When you see an opportunity, you take it. Owning Indonesia was the best thing ever. And if we hadn't sold New Amsterdam, the whole world would be speaking Dutch. 6. You hate it when anyone or anything gets in your way. 7. You go to birthday parties without presents. 8. You are an expert at marketing weak points as strong points. 9. You hate it when people make fun of your country. You are desperate for international recognition. You want the world to think of your country as the nation of Anne Frank; not the nation of Maarten Kuiper. 10. You are not particularly concerned about cleanliness and health, and you think that the Americans are too obsessed with this. 11. You think that politeness and friendliness must be phoney. 12. You love the idea that dope and prostitution is legal in the Netherlands, but you know that this is mainly for the tourists. Dutch people don't do these things. 13. You expect to have the government provide everything for you. 14. You love insurance and dislike taking risks of any kind. 15. You are good at technical matters. You're not that good at coming up with new ideas. You depend on the BBC for good programming ideas. 16. You're afraid of losing your home, whether that be a house, apartment, or shed. And if you own your house, you would rather die in the house than sell at a loss. 17. You feel you had a superior education. You know your four year Dutch university degree is the equivalent of a Master's anywhere else. 18. You think it’s normal that your employer would have a lunchroom and that you would sit down for lunch with all your colleagues every day. You don’t leave the table before everyone else does unless you’re sure they won’t start ripping you apart. 19. You think Holland is going to hell, but you also think that foreigners should not discuss this. You enjoy complaining about the government, taxes, traffic fines and the immigrants with your Dutch friends. As soon as a foreigner contributes to the conversation you'll immediately start defending all the policies you've just attacked. 20. You have filled your home with new DVD players and flat screen TVs. You enjoy going on holiday in a luxury caravan pulled by a huge SUV. But when other people have or do these things, you think it’s extravagant. 21. You’re not the slightest bit embarrassed when you see Surinamers watching Zwarte Piet at the Sinterklaas parade. You’re angry at any criticism of this lovely old tradition. 22. You think that teaching children stereotypes about other cultures develops their imagination. You enjoy watching a popular TV show in which a blond Dutchwoman pretends to be a buffoonish Japanese woman. 23. You think it’s OK to make sexual or even obscene remarks in front of women – funny even. 24. You think that sex is just one more "fun thing to do", falling somewhere on the pleasure scale between playing board games and discussing rumors. 25. You love to gossip. You know that gossip could well be true because the person who told you heard it directly from someone else. 26. If you see a waiting line, you will join it until you find out what it is for. If you know what the line is for, then you will immediately start thinking of ways to get around it. 27. You yourself speed when you think you can get away with it, but you resent it when you see Germans and Belgians on the highway doing the same thing. They should follow Dutch laws when in the Netherlands.
28. You use random Dutch words, like doekie, in the middle of an English conversation.
29. You go to church on Sunday, no matter what the weather.
30. While in church you eat peppermints, Mentos and licorice as well as other Dutch candies.
31. You know what windmills are and at your parents/grandparents house there is something with a design of one on it.
32. You eat olliebolen on New Years.
33. Have michies (chocolate/sugar sprinkles) on your sandwiches sometimes.
34. You are cheap ... face it, its genetic.
35. You know all the popular dutch jokes that refer to wooden shoes, woodpeckers, and how stubborn us dutch really are.
36. On Sunday (after going to church) you eat soup and then at 2pm you must have coffee time (and eat a bunch of Dutch cookies).
37. Your favorite cookies are made by a once Dutch company and can only be found in select stores ie. the Dutch store.
38. When you visit your grandparents (who are also Dutch) you end up eating breakfast at 8am, tea at 10am, lunch at noon, coffee at 2pm (with cookies and other snacks) and dinner is around 4:30pm (which of course includes dessert so you aren't done till 6pm) and then finally around 8pm you have a snack. 39. You believe getting drunk is an important part of your child's education. 40. You eat instant cup-a-soup at exactly 4pm. 41. You eat dry biscuits with anise sprinkles when a baby is born, pink ones if it's a girl, blue ones if it's a boy. 42. No matter where you are in your country, you can always hear the sound of traffic. 43. No matter where you are in your country, you will never see a mountain. 44. You live on land not created by God, but by the hands of men. 45. You think that plugging a hole in a dyke with your finger will save you when the deluge comes. 46. You were a genuine war hero in the Second World War, even if you were born in 1946. 47. Your national bird is a bluebird owned by the French: KLM.
And I'm not telling you whether any of it is really true. I'm leaving that to your imagination. This is by the way, everything on the subject I could find on the internet, but I'll keep it upto date with what I find.
Crikey! Sounds like just about anywhere in the world. I think if very honest most people of any land in any far flung corner of the globe could relate to that well told journal entry. I enjoyed the read. Love and ((((HUGS)))) from Dawnie.
No, I haven't returned to MySpace. This acquaintance goes back eleven years.
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The translation this generates is poor, but intelligible
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Unword of the Year
nominated for 2009:
YAWN RAPE
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My top 3 of favorite search terms that have directed visitors to my blog
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Blogthings
You are Sandusky, OH
Loser! You are boring, have no sense of adventure, no sense of humor, you have no friends, in fact you're no good to this world. You are definitely Sandusky, OH!
Famous Sandusky, Ohio, residents: probably a few hockey players, but no one worth a second glance
* Soraya
Crikey! Sounds like just about anywhere in the world. I think if very honest most people of any land in any far flung corner of the globe could relate to that well told journal entry. I enjoyed the read. Love and ((((HUGS)))) from Dawnie.
When you have worn imported woodent shoes! funny thing is I liked them, if only it had a high heel! LOL!
Haha that is great, very much funny, oh and by the way, I think I just might be part Dutch after reading this hehe
