im back

well im sitting here on a sunday nite, everyone is gone out and i am painfully hungover and dehydrated. last nite was cool....good company, good beer...good music...you know, its amazin that how someone can make you feel like the smartest person in the world! i know that we all as adults need to hold back from what we cant have but im starting to wonder is this achieved by maturity and time?!,,,or does it all depend on your personility and strength...but with time comes strength...and with strength comes self control.

well last nite i felt a comfort i hadnt felt in awhile. had a anxiety attack today. it was pretty intense. the breathing fast, the burning sensation on the back of my neck, the awful thoughts that my world was going to come crashing down again. i look over at my two best friends sound asleep...i felt like i wanted to cry....i swear i had never had been to happy to see my father this morning when he picked me up. it was such a sigh of relief being in my own bed again...a comfort nothing else can come close to... i cant tell if it was from alcahol abuse or not. im guesssing so....it was real intense today. when i got home my mum asked why i came home so early. i told her i had a headace. i didnt want to talk bout my anxiety attack. it would just upset me even more. so i silently snuck of to bed. wishing she could read my thoughts and that i could tell her about it....but i smiled realising what a comfort home is. its amazing, you could know someone for years, yet never know what theyre thinking or going through. i guess all you got to do is try to be the best you can.

...i shall keep this updated as often as possible. i must retreated to watching tv now.

keep it real!

7:52 PM - 8/2/2006 - post comment