the morning of a big hangover

how am i still standing today??!! woke up, my stomach in bits and head throbing and im still kinda drunk i think??!! its amazing how women can sober you the fuck up in a click of a finger!! i never in my life realised that til last nite!!! it like hey im getting drunk but then all of a sudden it likes, what was i doing for the last hour?? and i wad drinking wine or water??!!!ah well, i will forever thank god for making women and that fact that he spent most of his time creating them to perfection and i mean in looks that is....dont get me wrong there are sane women out there, but im sorry i havnt met any yet!! women are not well in the head i tells ya, which leaves me pondering random shit when drunk like, does she like me or is she messing and teasing just because she knows she can and that shes damn good at it??....but thank you god, for making me gay,  cause when ur dating/"shifting"or whatever that hell you call not dating but just taking it was it comes...then again, shifiting is a crappy word and got laughed at last time i used it and was asked was i 12!!so i shall use seeing for a better word....but ya the point im making is theres never a dull moment when dating a woman!...but to conclude, women are just great craic and i mean the in the sense of going out and having fun!!!!!

theres nothing like chilling in it center listening to rob thomas on the head fones and pondering random shit to make a hangover better!!..so ive nothing else to write except cuba rocked last nite and i am a big fan of cuba last nite eventho the bouncer was kinda not all there and was asking people random questions...which made me wonder if i was drunk or was he??!!

well thats it for now, i shall try and keep this updated during the holidays

x x  peace out x x

12:27 PM - 12/16/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

2005 rocked!!!

i dont wana go home for christmas cause i likes it too muc here, its not fair....i not gona fret, cause someone keeps tellin me its ok (and you shall rename nameless cause ur wanted to)...and this some i just realised i care about alot and i dont know how ill survive christmas break without this someone, but time will give me reasults and help me to sort out my head!!

went to eden last nite, why am i wrting about eden you ask?! well cause it was cool in that when you give something time, no matter how much reality sucks,you realise it was all for the best, that it was all  ment to be..it was cool inthat i realised that being friends wit someone is cool and best in the long run, i closed a chapter sealed last nite...one which i held on to for quiet awhile because it was a great experience to say the least! but i learn from that and made a friend in the process so i went to bed content in myself and my way of thinking now!!..im still single and glad to be, cause i dont want sumthing serious..i wana taste life and experience it to that full, something you cant do when youve given your heart to someone else, my heart is mine for now, and for a good while..but its all good cause i just wana hav fun (cheesy i know but..for lack of a better phrase).

...so i must take to my last lecture of 2005 and pondering about christmas and how its gona be as i havnt spent more than a week at home since than end of january...rosmuc here i come, i will try to keep this updated of the lap top has been cleaned of viruses and if not have a merry christmas yall and happy new year, may 2006 be as good as 2005 and ill be a content!!

be safe this christmas and have lots of craic!!

merry christmas and happy new year

ps the new tommy tiernan rocks!!

pps neddy, if your readin this, we all missed u last nite hope your coming back to galway and have great christmas!!! 

	Lyrics for: I Believe In Father Christmas I Believe in Father Christmas Greg Lake (Greg Lake/ Peter Sinfield) They said there``ll be snow at Christmas, They said there``ll be peace on earth, But instead it just kept on raining, A veil of tears for the Virgin birth. I remember one Christmas morning, The Winter``s light and a distant choir, And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell, And eyes full of tinsel and fire. They sold me a dream of Christmas, They sold me a silent night, They told me a fairy story, ``Til I believed in the Israelite. And I believed in Father Christmas, And I looked to the sky with excited eyes, Then I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn, And I saw him and through his disguise. I wish you a hopeful Christmas, I wish you a brave New Year, All anguish, pain and sadness, Leave your heart and let your road be clear. They said there``d be snow   shave a bullock!!

2:24 PM - 12/15/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

closed chapter!

i surrendered my anger

and laid out reality

we became the past last nite

i know, it wasnt ment to be

you  looked so alive

i, chilled with my acceptance

i reaslise it would be ok last nite

living life on a light note

cause its what you thought me

last time i gave away my heart

when it got dark, i couldnt see

i took pohograph of our memories

and placed them inside my mind

and as i walked away

you told me, it would be fine

you told me with your smile

i knew you didnt hate me

for being so loose and weak

i could breath, i could see

this is how its gona be

last nite, i closed a chapter

ill walk in my solitude for now

and be like this forever after

until i find another to care for

and open up another chapter

12:39 PM - 12/15/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

i  felt like a school child jumping outa bed half an hour late for my exam and begging my lecturer to let me sit it anyway....explaing that i, stayed up all night studing til 2 in the morning and forgot to set my alarm!!...but she eventually laughed at my foolishness and let me sit the test!!....she then gave me lecture afterwards and told me she was glad i was having fun in class and stuff and im doing good but if i could have less fun and focus more!!...i wondered that halls pondering wot she told me, and i for the first time in awhile acted like and adult and decided that she was right, i have work more and less cramming!!!..but hey, i got through it, and its all good and stuff had happened and when i woke up today (after my exam was over) i realised gawd damn, how ive been taking life just too damn serious and its good to have fun....oh theres so much stuff i wana say but i must keep it all locked up cause if the shit hits the fan about this it will no longer be fun...

...so heres some rules ive made up from people doing stupid things or maybe just me doing stupid things

1.   dont go to mac donalds drive thru umless your stoned, otherwise its no fun

 

2.   if you go to sumone house and they make you tea, well just spill it all over the carpet when thyre not looking and say you gotta go(denie the whole thing next time your there!)

 

3.  dont go into the kitchen.living room when you come home drunk, cause you could

          A: leave the cooker on all night

          B:leave dishes everywhere and having to clean up in the morning is just a pain!

         C:wake up on your couch which is very uncomfortable and ave the worst pain in you back ouch!

  

 

greatest memories of 2005:

sitting at the spanish arch with jamie and random people we met, and just having beer and chilling and soaking up the sun

 and enjoying the summer and never laughing so much!

going over to mikes for dinner and having a laugh, or waking up at mikes and having a huge hangover but always a good nite!!

going home on weekends and catching up with friends and act like we're still in secondary school!!

heading to the "stage door" and playing darts with jamie and having a laugh

one time in summer, i took a chance and it ended up pretty good and because i learnt alot about life and how

we should live it!!...in that, live it as if it were your last and go with your impluses, and dont worry so much about tomarrow!!

2005 was a good year for me as it was full of suprizes!!

till next installment

peace out    

2:42 PM - 12/13/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

truth and memories!

its funny...you think that all you want is the truth but thats not the case when its hurts to hear words that tear through your heart....but i guess its good to hav everything out in the open cause then it makes you closed to people and no matter how angry you get, they were honest with you so its like why am angry when they told the truth!!!

pat wouldve been 22 tomarrow...i dont wana dwell on the past and stuff, but i do cause its the only day hell be remembered...in prayers and conversation and laughter!!tomarrow i will remember him, and how he made everyone laughed, how he had a heart of gold!! who wouldve thought id ever be sitting here writing bout you, and wishing things were the same again!! life, its a rollercoasted, but all you can do is hang on for the ride and see where it brings you, and see whos left in the end!!

4:53 PM - 12/12/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

where did the year go?

umm sitting in on saturday and reflecting on the year gone by, thinking where the hell did the year go to...tihs poem is for people ive net over the past year!!....each verse is for a different person....rock on yall

i met you  back in spring
we shared stories both good and bad
we both laughed and cried
i never realised what i had
til i realised thing are changing!
i wish for summer time
roaming dunnes stores isles
drunken times just you and i
laughing til we could no more
smiling tho everyone cried
twisted, yet happy in our own way!
it was all sunny blue skys!
but now times, they are a changing

i met you when you were lost
but you were good to me!
never will i forget that
but i cant make you see
you having less time,
it has hurt me so!
its ok, we've good memorie,
incase ive to let go!
remember you were there,
when things got tough!
i tried to make you less lonely
but yet a friend it isnt enough
but now times, they are a changing!

i met you of a website,
just cause you only get one life
me, it was all new to me too
had no clue what i was doin that nite!
but now we talk as if it were
a lifetime or too ago!
i met you after that nite
and just did what i know
became friendly cause it was all new!
i saw you in the college hallways
surprized when you said hi!
i was lost when i met you
but now times, they are a changing!

i met you one sweet july
my eyes leaped out of my head
i thot, am i dreaming
tell me now am i dead
and somehow gone to heaven!
ive gota say it felt so right
you held me like no other
we lyed in the dark night
we spoke of dreams and pasts
yet you broke my heart and i couldnt see
i gave my heart to you angel
yet it wasnt ment to be
and now times, they are a changing!

i met you beginning of this semester
and woneder why you were so quiet
we became really friendly
and things were good, night after night
i played with your heart for a while
cause i wanted to feel the same again
but that angels irriplacable
and you and i, just friends
i spoke of heartace to you
but now we laugh with eachother
just like old friends would do!
it was hard to figure out my feelings
but now times, they are a changing!

me, im still getting to know!
ive been through things that broke me
yet life, it is a struggle
to take the right road, to see!
ive met so many people
wondering how life changed so fast
i know i must look to the future
and not back at the past
theres a whole world out there
full of angels,both good and bad
both ill meet but i dont care
for without heartace theyd be no love!
today, tomarrow, times, they are a changing!

9:50 PM - 12/10/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

just spend and hour and a half playing shit head in the canteen!!...oh boy does it rock and oh boy do i kick ass....yeah go me!! umm i think im turning into a typical software student....oh life is good, could be better but we shall not complain...

oh i have found the classest cartoon in the world ever!!push over family guy cause DRAWN TOGETHER ROCKS!!! yeah...its like a cartoon verson for big brother except with cartoon characters....

with eight cartoon characters:

and only one house and...........................................................................................................................................................................this would not be the exciting without some girl on girl action!!!

 and yes i know i never betty boo had a dick either!!! like my gawd...oh well the truth was bound to come on sometime...its ok betty boo you still rock!!!

so thats it for today...i shall update tomrw if  i my heads still intact and im not still drunk!! until then people

...stay true to youself, love rock and roll and dont love you self too much and finally...drinkk beer and save water!

peace out

1:12 PM - 12/7/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

when babe ruth curse was broken!

wensday 20 october red sox beat the yankees!

v

the red sox were cursed with the babe ruth curse (when babe ruth transfer to the yankee from the red sox...)...if they can erase history shouldnt everyone be able..i dont exactly mean erase..i mean let it lay to rest...and make more memories...for mistakes and move on and learn for the past!!..when the red sox beat the yankees there was a pradare bigger than st patricks day in boston eventhough it rained like hell...they were never thought of the same again...i wish people would look to the future more and stop living in the past..because the past should be the past...i wish people would forgive and forget and start a fresh as if no mistakes were made cause like is just too damn short....i duno know if this is just a rant to people like mosta this shit, i dont know if im writing this about me but i know it relates to someone ive known all my life who is on the verge of loosing it...who in everyday life is drowining in alcahol and briniging up the past and is dragging everyone down....the red sox beat the yankees we must beat the tears we cry from the past and let it lay to rest!!

3:34 PM - 12/6/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

i know your hurting

but fighting aint gona help

i couldnt help you

so i just left

crying in the rain

covered in your blood

lets not live like this

live it like he would

i know your hurting

hey im hurting too

theres others hurting aswell

its not just you

remember his smile

remember the way he laughed

youve got your life ahead

so please dont look back

i tried to help

i left you in the rain

painfully memories in the past

never going back again!

12:45 PM - 12/6/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

new band!!!!!!!!!

class new band, breaking benjamin!!! so much talent to listen to, so little time!!

check out http://hollywoodrecords.go.com/breakingbenjamin/ for sample of their music!!

Artist: Breaking Benjamin
Song Title: So cold lyrics
 
[Verse One]
Crowded streets are cleared away
One by one
Hollow heroes separate
As they run
You're so cold
Keep your hand in mine
Wise men wonder while strong men die

[Chorus]
Show me how we end
this all right
Show me how defenseless
you really are
Satisfied and empty inside
Well that's alright
Let's give this another try

[Verse 2]
If you find your family
Don't you cry
In this land of make believe
Dead and dry
You're so cold
but you feel alive
Lay your hand on me
One last time

[Chorus]

[Guitar Bridge]

[Chorus]

It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright
It's Alright

1:56 PM - 12/2/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

new audio slave yeah baby!!!

yay new audio slave, lyrics are class...it just so random its class!!!

Doesnt Remind Me
Audioslave

**********

I walk the streets of Japan till, I get lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

*********************************

(Chorus)
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

*********************************

(Verse)
I like gypsy moths and r[A]adio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

*******************************
(Chorus)
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

*********************************
(Bridge)
Bend and shape me
I love the way you are
Slow and sweetly
Like never before
Calm and sleeping
We won't stir up the past
So descretely
We won't look back

***********************

(Chorus)
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred [A]that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

*************************************
(Verse)
I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like playing in the sand what's mine is ours
If it doesn't remind me of anything

12:33 PM - 12/2/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

my heartd clouded up my head

well well....i have nothing to write except that i hate when i say/do things without thinkn, the last hour has been total fucking awful cause im just so stupid and just because i cant let go of the past i let fucking queens mess me about, mess me head and leave me feeling like total crap and for what tell me?? to be left unsure just as before...

...this is probably a loada crap but i dont care im pissed off...people dont let your heart get in the way of your head....

peace out

fallen angel

6:02 PM - 11/30/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

umm bernies is getting lazy me thinks!! lots of sleep+lots of sour skettles+foofighters=hyper bernie...hyper bernie=no studie...no studie=failing college...failing college=bernie on dole and becoming a bum...

....you they said i was never good at equations...haha damn you old maths teacher...if you could see me now and my madness .being crazy and on sugar rocks!!!..............oh i will read this tomarrow and regret being so stuipid but who cares lets live for now!!!

yhe skittle people have informed me that theres are no more skettles *hangs head in dissapointment*

till tomarrow

2:47 PM - 11/29/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

my update...

...took a trip to the capital over the weekend..me and jamie had a bit of a road trip...it was good times...had a walk around trinity college and wow what atchitecture...i walked around with me jaw open amaed at my surroundings...id love to go to college there someday, quiet impressive...altho it would take half an hour to get to class where as here in gmit its easier but ugly and so 80's!!

umm not much else to say...asessments assesments thats all that going on and ive to start studing as i did f**k all as i was in dublin all weekend!!!....ggggrrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaaaaatttt...oh well only 3 weeks til we get holidays yay!

5:38 PM - 11/28/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

you know who you are, this ones for you

you said i inspired you

yet i showered you with my heartace

stories of my first love

i wish i hadnt spoken of my heartbreak

or wear my heart on my sleeve

each time that we speak

if it makes me weaker than you

yeah i hang round with gay folk

trying to dance against that past

push it into my book of memories

instead of thrying to get it bak

but youve helped me to see

the rainbow beyond the rain

i thought id chase her forever

thought id never smile again

ill let go of all my summer

ill smile back at it sometimes

but now, ill slowly walk away

im no longer hers, nor she mine

your friendships helped me to smile

you offered me your heart last nie,

i said sorry, and softly i declined

unable to fell for anyone fight now

til im done, dancing with the past

someday ill fifng my feet

and be able to hole someone at last

and open up my heart again!

11:29 AM - 11/24/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

tests are over...

yay tests are over....and bernie is once again smiling....whether i passed or not ill worry about tomarrow but for today ill just be glad its over!!! umm had a groopie in libery and got yelled at by phsyco libery lady .....k maybe we were a little loud but im sorry i cant be quiet when having a debate!!!grrr someday ill get you phsyco libery lady and then ill debate all i want in the libery if i like...

....umm not much else happened today, i gave blood and it was fun(yeah you heard me right)...tracy held my hand...did you know that itll take 3 long months for that blood to be replaced!!....its good to know that your making a difference ....it kinda sad that gay men cant give blood...its stupid and should be changed!! what if theyre blood was puire and they ended up saving someones life!! isnt it worth getting it tested and finding out??!! oh what wrong with this country....k maybe when it comes to gay issues or issues relatin gay people i do get a bit carried away but theyre such stupid rules!!

til tomarrow

peace out

4:38 PM - 11/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

oh its sweet monday...and i am unusually in a good mood....its grumps bday today (hehe you didnt want me to use your real name) happy bday grumpy if yer reading this...umm two tests tomarrow...ekk tis going to be tough...oh went to see harry potter in the eye cinema..was class, thot id never be saying that!! but hey this weekend was full of good surprzes..

1;some i thot hated me is now talking to me again

2:babysat, and the kid had me laughing for ages, god damn who knew two year olds were such comiedians...i tells ya love, you beat toomy tiernan any day..haha..

speaking of tommy..had my house mates in stitches we watched his dvd, cracked..

heres tommy in action:

nice tea cosy ya got there tommy

til next time

peace out

2:20 PM - 11/21/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

thinking back..

umm well ive nothing really interesting to write...ahhhhh two assesments coming up next week and im kinda screwed man!! i shouldnt even be here...im listening to depressing country music...came out to class mate last nite, it was cool! and its still normal..haha how was laughed bout nothing today!..its funny llife never turns out how you think it will!! who would think id be in gmit? i thot id never have a relationship that was so intense that it rocked my summer! who would think my mother and i would be able to talk about being gay!..who would think id be living with complete strangers!!

and here i am, living through all these changes, still able to smile...something i thought id never be able to do at the start of summer...in the words of ronan keating "life is a roller coaster, you just gotta ride it!"

i love rainbows

5:08 PM - 11/17/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

i saw you in my time of weakness

i saw you and i looked away

at times i begged for you arms,

but no, not today!

lst nite, anxiety came creeping

again i felt like the world was ending

i know itll be ok

i know its just beginning!

ill see you tonight,

my head will fight with my heart

over whether i should talk to you

i wont, you tore me apart!

ill look away again

cause i once cared for you

but your no longer

even a friend!

6:26 PM - 11/15/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

did you know.....

figroll have a bar....umm boardom is great you have to time think of stupid stuff and maybe laugh (thats if theres no one around you)...oh it raining and im in a bad mood...haha well not really im in more of a twisted mood but its raining outside and its darks i hate winter!!!

..ooo i cant see these pages getting gloomy in the weeks ahead...umm unless i go out alot and get drunk more than usual and have the craic!!!...

oh im sad, my father killed one of our kittens on our way to church on sunday so when we got to church i said a prayer and now shes in kitty heaven so its all good!! i miss you kitty...yay me and jamie are going to play darts tonite yay...our bonding sessions continue...

well i must love ya and leave yall

till next installment

peace out

3:12 PM - 11/7/2005 - comments {0} - post comment