Joke's on who, me?

I'm not a person who's suited to write online journals. Finding a topic to talk about, on a daily basis, doesn't work for me. Nothing's worth talking about anymore. Knowing things that are really important etc, is just plain basic. And nobody likes to talk about the basics. Myself included.

As usual, I like looking on at the fun(ny) side of life. Really, the one thing I find myself doing all the time is just making people laugh. At me, mostly.

No, I can not picture myself becoming a comdian some day. I don't think everyone truly appreciates the same kind of jokes. Like, a girl who lost her dad in an accident isn't likely to like road jokes. You get the drift. Don't ask me why I should bother with people who choose to remain narrow-minded and stuff, even if it's a joke. Things happen to people and affect them real bad, sometimes.

And, things you can relate to with others, can easily turn into humourous references. That kind of thing makes people closer. Like, in your high school days there'd be two girls who went everywhere together, and would say stuff that made absolutely no sense, and chuckle to themselves. Or they've gone mad.

I must admit I do say stuff nobody but me finds funny at times. That's what we call a "cold joke". I'm surprising good at stuff like that. And then the joke's on me. Goofy.

Nothing like a good ol' lung exercise. Heh.

8:18 PM - 4/26/2006 - comments {2} - post comment

Nobody cares. Full stop.

For the last ten minutes, everything on my mind were complains. I wanted to think of something nice to write, but I can't.

And no, I'm not going fall for my own "time of the month" and start complaining.

Now, why not? First, nobody cares. They might express some concern if you tell them at first. But it ends the same: The insensitive will stay insensitive, the dumb will get dumber, and the indifferent will still be indifferent. Okay, maybe the dumb will wise up a little. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.

If you're going to take it up front, it might hurt ties, depending on your choice of tone and words. Do not ever, expect anyone to change because of your complain. Something big and terrible has to happen. Heh.

If you're going to do it behind their backs, you're a backstabber. Backstabbers are uncool, because everyone hates them. But everyone does complain behind people's back once in a while, so they're all backstabbing hypocrites.

So, make something BIG and TERRIBLE happen! If your friend owes you money and delays payment, sell your business and tell him you went bankrupt because of him. If you friend knocks your phone on the ground by accident, drop it a few times more and make sure he thinks he spoilt it. If someone playfully kicks your limb, break it and tell him he's caused a tiny crack in your bone to give way.

The world will be so much a better place!

As if you're really taking this seriously.

7:53 AM - 4/19/2006 - comments {1} - post comment

It's WoW maintainence. My life is over.

Bah. Can't get online because it's server maintainence and there's nothing else for me to do.

So, I decided to try making palindromes. By the way, that's a sentence which has the same letters if you spell it backwards. The first minute, all I could come up with is "He sees, eh?". That's corny. Half an hour later I got the hang of it, but still couldn't get a nice, proper palindrome that doesn't contain acronyms or nicknames.

Still, I found it to be very amusing. You should try it sometime, with topics that interest you. World of Warcraft was on my head the whole time.

Nevertheless, I present: The pa-lame-dromes from Eugene!

WTF?! Deoa says Syas AoE-d FTW?
(Deoa and Syas are names. AoE means spells that do area of effect damage. FTW = for the win)

Drazzil boned Eno! Blizzard!
(Eno's is some guy's girl. Presumably a mage that can cast blizzard. I'm sure you know what boned means.)

Crocodile!! The H.T.E. lid!!! OC! Orc!!!!
(When a chain of disasters all come at once. H.T.E. stands for High Tech Engine, and he's calling his Officer-in-Command.)

R, even he saw who Ohw was, eh? Never!
(Denial of gender confusion. R, is someone whom you call when he has a unbearable long name starting with R. Ohw is another name)

No way, he beat Teabeh? Yaw on!!
(Teabeh's a name, yaw on means you're on - mis-spelled on purpose to sound cool. And there is some sort of bet going on.)

Oo, we mages did Sega, me! Woo!
(Sega's the narrator who's also a mage, and is their creation. Either that or a sick mage mass orgy.)

K, Cast it on.. No tits?? Ack!!
(What a team leader would say when he just realised in-game graphics didn't meet his expectations.)

Top online: Nil. No pot.
(Highest number online: none. Because there's no potions. Wait, that doesn't make sense..)

Boo!! Nah.. C? U such a noob!
(Someone scolding another player for screwing it up. C = see/U = you. Noob's a rude way of calling a newbie.)

Okay, I can't stand how this is going already. Getting way too tasteless. Guess I need more practise.

And I know I'm going to regret reading this again someday.

9:55 PM - 4/11/2006 - comments {2} - post comment

How to maximise your space.

I just tidied my room yesterday. At 1 A.M. because I couldn't sleep. It's always surprising how much junk gets piled up over time, and before you know it, you can't see the surface of the table anymore. I know.

Moved some lame things out of my room, too. There were two pieces of packaging, I think it came with the monitor my dad bought about two months ago. A side table which is full of, not surprisingly, more junk. And all my old lecture notes. I've graduated, why should I care?

Hence, I've developed a set of rules for the average joe to follow, should you need help deciding what to do. The reason I said "average joe" is because, like me, they don't have much things of importance that are left lying around. It's either kept in drawers, cabinets or the top shelf. What's left is bill, birthday cards from various organisations(which I'm sure they send the same thing to everybody else on their birthday), old textbooks, and unused tissue paper and memo pads. And old batteries, pieces of movie tickets, pen caps, broken pencils and a whole lot of dust.

The list never ends. But, make sure you know why you're clearing whatever you're clearing. It can be a chair, table or even a part of a shelf(although nobody I know chucks stuff into a shelf, but who knows).

Rule #1: Only bother clearing it if you're gonna use it at least once a day, otherwise, move the whole damn thing out of your room. Stuff like a stool, a box lying around. It's your room, only you decide what goes in it.

Rule #2: Reviewing each stuff takes too much time, infact, everything looks like it still has value it probably worthless and already replaced. Get a big trash bag, and dump everything in.

Rule #3: If you do find items that are too important lying around, you shouldn't even be trying to tidy your room because it'll get back to the way it was in less than a month.

Rule #4: If you're still unsure and paranoid, you can always leave the damn bag in your sister's room. Tell her it's good fengshui(for girls) to leave big black trash bags in the room. Either that or try to hide it in a corner outside where nobody'll notice.

Rule #5: If you still need help deciding what to throw away, I have the perfect solution. It requires a whole bottle of whisky and you chug it down. Then, in the same tone sailors would say "Laaaand Ho!", say "Throw it awaaaaay!!!". Everything else comes naturally.

Just follow the perfect 5 golden rules and your room will not only look tidier, but more spacious as well. It'd be cool to invite your friends over and play twister in the room, wouldn't it?

2:52 AM - 4/11/2006 - comments {1} - post comment

TeamSpeak

The other day, I was at bugis again. Patrick was doing battleground runs, and using this kickass software called TeamSpeak. It's for commucation using microphone, and especially important during combat. You don't just stop and type long detailed instructions when there's a change of plan in combat, and short messages just won't do. It's an awesome team gaming tool, really.

But there's a damn messed up/funny part about it: Different accents.

Firstly, it's the way words are phrased. Ivan was playing the other day with TeamSpeak - he was trying so hard to "follow" their way of speaking, even though his english isn't that good. He ended up sounding really wierd, going "Hey what's up guys" and stuff. I admit I speak really bad english to my friends, but we still understand each other.

The unfamiliarity with the american accent plus the somewhat flawed voice quality - you just don't know what're they saying sometimes. All you'll hear is "Ok guys blah blah blah.. Team one's gonna blah blah blah blah with team two.. okay? CHAAARGE!!!" and wonder what the hell is going on. And that's about it. Everyone talks about stuff happening beside them/next room afterwards.

It gets funnier. Patrick started typing out chinese swearing words! What an asshole! So the other foreign players were trying to pronounce it.  Then, he taught them "nee ta ma der wang ba dan"(you son of a bitch). And the guy went "No way dude, I'm not saying anything with wang in it". Priceless!

I don't care, I'm gonna get a microphone too!

12:01 PM - 4/8/2006 - comments {0} - post comment