Since it IS February and all, and girls just CAN'T help being giggly about it, I guess I'd have to face the fact that I have to be like them,too!XD

I do admit, I am a bit excited. Not for our second long exams for NASC4, but what will happen. I don't know why I'm making such a big fuss about it (along with everybody else) and going all giddy and YIKES, this IS the single's dreaded time of the year! Anyway, my roommates and I already have something planned to celebrate that, though one of them isn't single. It's so funny, we'll buy each other roses and write a goofed up love letter from our crushes. We're so hilarious! Valentine's will just be any other day, girls are just a bit too excited this time of year, that's the difference. I want that kind of excitement, too, but the thing is, there's really nothing to expect. Don't worry, I am used to this, for the last 16 valentine's day.xDD

I don't know what's with the title, I just read from a friend a blog entry about her first love. I don't think I have one. I don't even know what that is. I did have my first crush back in first grade when he shouted at me and told me that I look like a monkey. That caused me to wail so badly my teacher got hysterical because I can't tell her that I was crying just because someone called me a monkey. I was a very cute girl back then! How dare he!

Then I had a lot of crushes that followed after, I just don't know if they were "love" and whatever. I did love this person a lot, too. It's stupid to bring it up again and again even though it's useless to expect anything. Unrequited love. Hilarious. It's still there and I hate it. GRAAAAAH~ my first love is UNREQUITED LOVE. How conventional. I guess it comes with the fact that we are close and all that I can't help myself. Yuck, this again?! Stop!

Maybe the thing with me blogging a lot in Multiply is because I feel like I can talk about other things, except about him, like here. Anyway, it has been long enough since I dissed this blog, so I'll try updating here sooner or later, just like what I'm doing now. XD

Madaling tumapak sa lupa ng iyong kagigisnang unibersidad para sa kinabukasan mo. Konting kaba lang ang dalahin ng mga balikat mo, pero ang matitira, dala-dala na ng mga paa mong bagaman ay nanginginig ay punung-puno naman ng lakas ng loob at paniniwalang kakayanin mo ang lahat. Ang hindi lang naman madali ay kung paano mo paninindigan ang mga salitang sinabi mo dala ng pagka-insecure mong freshie ka.

Ang pakiramdam ko'y isa pa rin akong estudyante ng dati kong paaralan, marahil ay sa dahilang hindi ko pa lubusang naiisip na labingpitong taong gulang na rin ako at isa na nga akong kolehiyala. Dahil dito, naisip ng Diyos na gisingin ako sa panaginip kong kumakapit sa nakaraan, at dalhin ako dito, kung saan tinuruan Niya ako ng mga bagay na kahit sinong propesor ay hindi magagawa. Mas okay pa siya sa acads. 'Pag pumalpak ka, pwede mong gawin ulit hanggang sa makuha mo na.

• Maging kritikal ka.

Hindi lahat ng bagay na inihambalos sa iyo ay basta-basta mo na lamang tatanggapin o iiwasan o aalisin. Nasa iyo ang responsibilidad na isipin kung ang isang bagay na iyon ay nararapat ba o hindi, dahil ikaw rin naman ang mapapahamak o kaya ay makakajackpot.

Oo, naiintindihan ko ang responsibilidad kong maging isang mapanuring indibidwal sa aking komunidad na kinagagalawan, ngunit sa tingin ko lahat naman, bata man o matanda, ay alam kung ano at kung paano na ang isang bagay ay magagawa nang maayos at tama, hindi 'yung binabaluktot ito para malupig tayo nang isa-isa. Nararapat lamang na lahat ng tao'y alam kung kailan sila tinutulungan o niloloko, at kung saan ang hangganan ng pagiging magalang sa puntong inaabuso ang pagpapakababa mo.

• Magsalita ka.

Maraming mga paraan na maaring gamitin upang ipahayag ang iyong nararamdaman, saloobin o opinyon sa isang bagay. Ikaw rin, magsisisi ka. Kung nagsalita ka, e 'di sana, may nagawa ka o nabago ka.

Bakit ko naisip 'yon? Tanda mo noong sinigaw-sigawan ako ng isang soro na, "HINDI KAMI LIABLE D'YAN, BLAHBLAH BLAHBLAH," matapos kaming maayos na nakiusap at nagtanong kung may ticket pa para sa isang play kung saan required 'yung kasama ko. Natameme kaming dalawa at nagkatitigan. Matapos ang ilang maitim naming mga balak ay umalis na rin ang kasama ko. Nalungkot tuloy ako.

Tangina, walang kwenta. Oo, maganda ang play at malaki ang produksyon nito, pero salamat naman at naroroon kami sa aisle nakaupo at pinapausod na naman kami ng soro. Kung uusod kami, 'yung pader na lang ang papanuorin namin! Aba naman! 'Yung nahuli na lang ang umupo doon!

Nakatabi namin 'yung kaklase ng kasama ko pang isa at sinabi niyang nakipag-away talaga siya doon sa soro at sinabi niyang required siya. Kasi 'pag required dapat nagrereserve sila ng tickets at dahil doon talo 'yung soro kaya't pinapasok siya.

Aba'y oo nga naman! Maayos naman kaming nakiusap, bakit niya kami sisigawan!? At saka bakit ang pangit at ang gulo ng sistema nila, kung ganoon lang pala ang kayang i-hold ng tanghalan, sana hindi nalang sila nagtinda ng ganoong karaming ticket o kaya nama'y inayos ang mga petsa kung saan ang ganitong numero ng manonood ang hahayaan lamang pumasok? Dapat pala alam ko kung dapat palampasin ang isang bagay at kung kailan hindi.

Marami rin akong naranasang ganitong sitwasyon. Lalung-lalo na 'pag recitation. Ang taas-taas na sana ng mga marka ko kung may kakayahan lang ako magsalita at pagkatiwalaan ang aking sagot. Pero hindi, pinipili ko ang pananahimik. Kaya't ngayon, ginagawa ko ang lahat para magkaroon ng sapat na tiwala sa sarili para makasagot nang tama. Ito ay para na rin maiwasan ko ang panghihinayang at pagpigil sa panununtok sa sarili.

• Matuto kang tumanggi.

Marunong ka dapat tumanaw ng utang na loob, marunong ka dapat tumulong sa kapwa mo, pero kung labag din lang naman sa loob mo na mangako na gagawin mo ang isang bagay, mas maiging tumanggi ka na lang. Hindi maganda 'yung hindi buo ang loob mo sa gagawin mong pabor para sa isang tao. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko 'pag lagi na lang akong napapa-oo.

Halimbawa, kakausapin ako ng mga estranghero at umo-oo pa rin ako. Nakakabarino talaga. O kaya nama'y pagod na pagod na ako at may kaibigan akong nangungulit na mamasyal, pumapayag pa rin ako. Hindi ako maka-hindi. Nakakapagsinungaling tuloy ako. Mayroon ding mga tao na pansin ko'y lumalapit lang para humingi ng pabor. Hinayaan ko pa kasing magkaganoon. Simula ngayon, dapat matuto akong humindi.

• Alamin mo kung kailan dapat lalong magpursigi at kung kailan dapat sumuko.

May mga bagay na mahirap gawin, at naroroon sila para sa dalawang dahilan, para masubukan ang katatagan mo sa pagpursigi sa bagay na ito, o kaya naman ay isa lang siyang direksyon na dadalhin ka kung saan ka nararapat. Usapang kurso ito. Kung sa tingin mo na sinusubukan ka lang, huwag kang sumuko! Natural lang naman na magkaroon ng mga balakid na ganito para matamo mo ang mga pangarap mo. Pero kung alam mo sa sarili mo na pinipilit mo na ang isang bagay, itigil mo na ito. Alam mo rin namang iba ang nakalaan para sa katuparan ng mga pangarap mo.

Huwag mong isipin na lahat ng tao ay naroroon para kainin ka nang buhay.

Nasanay lang ako sa paaralan ko dati. Ang tataray ng mga clerk, na akala mo naman parang araw-araw dinadatnan, ang taray din ng principal mo, akala kung sinong Miss Universe na ultimo'y hindi mo mabati dahil susupladuhan ka lang naman, ang tataray din ng mga pwedeng pagtanungan, kulang na lang ay bayaran mo sila bawat tanong mo sa kanila, at napakatataray ng mga guwardiyang akala mo namang sila na ang Diyos ng maliit naming gate. Tangina talaga 'pag naalala ko silang lahat.

Kaya siguro masyado akong kabado 'pag pumupunta sa mga taong may awtoridad. Halimbawa na lamang ang mga tao sa OCS, akala ko talaga sisigawan nila ako at sasabihing ganito ganyan. Pero hindi, nakipag-usap sila nang maayos at tinrato akong tao, hindi mangmang gaya na lang ng mga clerk sa amin. Lagi pa nga silang nakangiti at nangangamusta kahit hindi naman kayo close. Nang nalaman ko iyon, ang saya saya ng pakiramdam. Hay naku, kung pwede ko lang sabihin sa mga kamag-aaral ko sa dating paaralan na nanghihinayang ako dahil hindi ako sumasagot sa mga baluktot na pamamalakad ng eskwelahan namin, naku talaga! Napaka-pa-importante!

Isa pa, ang maganda kong propesor sa CMSC 56! Siya lang, sa lahat ng taong matandang may alam na namatayan ako ng lolo na nakiramay kahit papaano. Hindi mo rin naman masisisi ang iba dahil lagi namang may ganoon, pero ang pagpapakita na nakikiramay ka kahit daily routine na ito ay kakaiba. Kadakila talaga ng aking propesor! Idol ko siya to death!

• Never underestimate anybody.

Nag-ingles? Ang isa sa pinakapangit na maaring mong gawin ay ang pagbabaan mo ng tingin ang isang tao. Dapat alam mo na may alam sila na hindi mo alam. Nahihirapan din sila katulad ng paghihirap mo. Wala kang karapatan para sabihin na ang isang kurso ay "madali" lang dahil sa maunti ang ganito at ganyan, sa lahat-lahat! Sino ka naman para pagtaasan nila ng tingin at pag-isipan na, "O, ikaw na ang diyos!"

'Wag mong sasabihing, "Ay ang dali lang naman ng Math 11, ako nga Math 17 nga ang hirap-hirap!" o kaya naman, "DevCom lang naman 'yan, ako nga e, Engineering! Ang hirap kaya nun!" o kaya, "Buti nga Math 26 ka lang e, patay ka sa Math 36!" o, "Bakit naman pagpupuyatan mo pa 'yang insert GE subject here!?"

O ikaw na nga ang nahihirapan, parang ako hindi!?

Pantay-pantay tayong lahat, ang bawat isa ay may angking talento at ang bawat isa rin ay mayroong pagkukulang. Dapat naiintindihan mo 'yun, lalo na't nasa kolehiyo ka na at iba't ibang mga kurso ang tinatahak ninyo, at dapat iniintindi mo na ang kursong iyon ay kabiyak na rin ng katuparan ng pangarap niya. Wala kang karapatang pagbabaan ng tingin ang pangarap ng isang tao lalo na kung ang taong iyon ay nagpupursiging matupad ang mga ito

• Asahan mo ang pinakamalagim, pinakamahirap at ang pinakamasama.

Sabi nila. Sa tingin ko, okay rin ito. Isipin mo na ang hirap hirap ng eksaminasyon ninyo, isipin mo na mamatay-tao ang propesor mo, isipin mo na impiyerno ang subject na papasukan mo, at mas magiging handa ka. Magandang taktika iyan, lalung-lalo kung ang papasukan mo ay may reputasyon na (nangunguha ng kaluluwa). Isa lang na payo, huwag ka namang magpadala sa reputasyon, ha. Sabi ko, paghahanda lang, pero para pigilan mong gawin ang iyong " 'D BEZT" dahil tuluyan ka na ngang naihi sa takot mo, aba, hindi na tama iyon! Masasanay ka rin naman, pero dahil nga sa pag-asa mong iyon, hindi ka na masyadong magugulat sa mga pangyayari at hindi mo na rin kailangang magbaon ng diapers. Matatagpuan mo ang sarili mong inililihim ang pagkahiya mong terrorized na terrorized ka noong bago ka pa lang.

Pero kung ang inaasahan mo ay nagkatotoo, God bless na lang, pare.

• Dapat alam mo kung ano ang kasalukuyang kalagayan ng komunidad na kinagagalawan mo.
  

Hindi 'yung paanga-anga ka hanggang sa mapasukan ng langaw ang bibig mo. Bukod sa madalas itong bonus sa mga eksaminasyon mo, ito rin ay katungkulan mo. Dapat alam mo kung sinong pulitiko ang nakapatay na, kung paano nagkakabagsakan ang Amerika dahil sa pangingialam nila sa Iraq, kung paano paano umaangat ang bansang Tsina, kung saan madalas nagkakasunog, kung totoo ang balitang tatanggalin ang mga tambayan sa BioSci dahil malaki ang posibilidad na masunugan ito, hindi lang tungkol sa pagkabuntis ni Jennelyn Mercado, okay?

Obligasyon mo iyon bilang isang indibidwal, dahil doon mo makukuha ang mga bagay na makapagpapabuo ng pagkakakilanlan mo bilang isang Pilipino. Identity mo 'yang pinapanuod mong balita, maging channel 2 o 7, iisa lang ang balitang pinagkukuhanan n'yan. Ang kaunting oras na gugugulin mo sa panonood ng balita ay pagkakataon mo ring malaman kung ano na ang nangyayari sa mga kababayan mo. Aba, hindi lang ikaw ang buhay dito sa Pilipinas. Magiging kasaysayan mo 'yan.

• Positibong disposisyon ang kailangan mo!

Sa hirap ng buhay, sa dami ng pressure (parang artista, ano?), okay lang naman ang magmura, magwala, o magreklamo. Parte lang iyan ng buhay. Huwag mo lang hayaan na balutin ng mga hinanakit mo ang positibo mong disposisyon dahil ito ang kasapi mo lalo na sa pananatili ng iyong katinuan. Mahirap ang mag-aral, lalo na nitong kolehiyo. Wala si Nanay o Tatay na puwedeng mura-murahin ang guro mo 'pag pumalpak ka. Nag-iisa ka na, bata!

Panatilihin mo ang positibo mong pananaw at ang pagiging masayahin mo. Huwag kang magtaray, hindi ka pa menopause. Bagaman naiintindihan ng tao sa unibersidad na pinapasukan mo na mayroon talagang pangit na mga araw, ay dapat hindi ito kasanayan. Pakawalan mo ang hinagpis sa naranasan bagsak na grado, palayasin ang pag-iyak dahil ang pangit mong crush ay mayroong mas pangit na crush, paalisin ang sakit sa dignidad at prinsipyo na dulot ng walanghiya mong propesor. Kaya mo 'yan! Ngiti ka lang, pren! Isipin mo na lang, lahat ay nangyayari dahil may rason sila! Malay mo, sinigawan ka ng prof mo kasi nakatakda siyang madapa bukas!

• TIME MANAGEMENT

Ang daling sabihin, ang hirap gawin. Ito ang sikreto sa lahat-lahat ng problema mo sa mundo. Time management. I-balanse mo ang oras ng gimik mo sa oras ng pag-aaral mo at siyempre, ang oras ng pamamahinga mo! Wala akong masabi dito kasi nahihirapan din akong magbalanse at magtakda nang maayos na haba ng oras para sa bawat gawain, pero siguro ay unti-unti ko itong matutunan hanggang sa pagtagal ko dito sa unibersidad na ito. LET'S DO IT!

• Maghanap ka ng tunay na kaibigan.

Mahirap sabihin, lalo na para sa akin na bago pa lang dito. Pero wala akong planong mabuhay nang mag-isa sa kolehiyo ng walang kaibigan o karamay. 'Yung taong iintindi sa iyo, pakikinggan ang sasabihin, makikipaglokohan sa iyo at 'yung taong gagawan mo ng gaya ng hinihingi mo sa kanya. Mahaba pa ang panahon para doon, ngunit sana makita ko talaga 'yung kaibigan na 'yon! :D

Sa ngayon, ito pa lang ang mga bagay na pinag-aaralan. :D Sana nakatulong 'to sa mga taong namomroblema kasalukuyan sa mga acads nila. Karamay niyo ako.

Oo nga pala, ako na ang madaldal.xDD OO NGA PALA, MAS MAKULAY SA MULTIPLY ANG ENTRY NA ITO. ANG HIRAP HIRAP KASI AYUSIN YUNG MGA KULAY. DITO O! http://bubbabubble.multiply.com/journal/item/78/Kolehiyala

...even in my dream.

So this is what you get for sleeping up late and making up excuses just to sleep more at noon...a A-LIST WEIRD DREAM!

First off, I had a dream that I was having a pep talk with this uber depressed dunkin donut guy, telling him not to give up working hard even though his girlfriend broke up with him. Mind you, he was and 80 something year-old guy, and he resembled Golum (or whatever the spelling is) from Lord of the Rings. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and I NODDED WILLINGLY. *WHAT THE #$@^~?!! Here I am, all, "I don't think Enchong Dee looks that cute," then I'd settle for someone that looks like Golum, and moreover, sells DONUTS WHILE RIDIN' A BIKE?!

If you think that's really weird (AND GROSS) enough, then you're wrong. I dreamt of Paopao living in this oversized green house and her dog Kruger suddenly transformed into a dog as big as Tycho (from the Disney Channel movie, "Life is Ruff") and was chasing after me...and he bit me three times! DANG, THAT DOG! Just now, I found three wounds on my feet, exactly where the dog bit me, and then actually doubted if it really was a dream. ..BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN ANYWHERE NEAR THAT DOG! Nanay told me it was kurikong. HAHA. Good enough.

But that definitely does not end there! Something else happened in elbi, and it was SO WEIRD.

So, Diana owned an under construction hospital which was haunted, and we went there after shopping in a nearby super market with Nanay (where we bought the weirdest things like chocolate chip cookies slash ice cream and worn-out and wet notebooks). Diana was with two uber cute foreigners who told us that they have the pleasure to take us to the university. We rode via their jeepney where Reena Mae and other people were expecting us. They wanted to go ghost hunting inside the haunted hospital. Reena and I disagreed and said that they should go without us. While nearing the hospital, Reena and I, (along with some old lady) saw a blinding red light from a room in the hospital (AND GADANGNABIT, I GOT REALLY SCARED).I felt very weak and asked Reena to walk with me to my dormitory. O yea, we saw Sir Anozo training some weird Martial arts in a ruined building and even scolded us for disturbing their practice. When Reena and I neared the Humanities building, we bid each other goodbye and went to the usual route towards the dormitory, where I found myself ending up in some weird and unknown street filled with old buildings (like the ones in Central). If it wasn't for Pita (who was in ELBI?), Phoebe and some other classmates that I can't remember, I wouldn't've been able to come back to my dorm.

Oh, it still isn't finished yet, when we got there, we had monsters for our dormmates, and our dorm turned out to be the haunted hospital. I was REALLY scared at first, seeing Tutankhamen's mummy befriending me and some other white ladies and monsters (yep, there was a vampire..and he was my father in my dream) were all there. OF COURSE, there was also Snow White, boarding there, along with Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and other damsels from Disney movies. In the end, we all became best of friends.

A word of advice, stop WATCHING:

news about uncovering mummies of egyptian emperors

movies about wild and huge dogs

Lord of The Rings with Gollum (still, whatever the spelling is) in it

haunted houses and ruined buildings

Disney movies (haha..though I love them)

AVOID:

your best friend's dog

thinking about how your next Math notebook should look like

thinking about your university or anything about school during semestral break

sleeping late and waking up late

green houses

thinking about eye-candy foreigners

your folk-dance choreographer

talking to your friend FOR LONG HOURS and introducing yourself to someone who's name is just like hers

eating too much donuts

ENCHONG DEE

thinking too much about your inability to bike

thinking about your elementary school and its crummy buildings

and most of all REMEMBER:

to put on body lotion to avoid kurikong.

Suddenly, I feel allergic to reviews...I do wonder why. XPPP

AIYA! I finished the adorable series just a minute ago! YAYYY! My god, Mandarin is REALLY, REALLY REALLY GROWING ON ME.

The plot was very good, it didn't focus on Rainie and Mike alone, but also focuses on Kingone and Tsai Pei Lin and the others. *Some people hated Tsai Pei Lin's voice, but she's actually one of the reasons why I find Mandarin so cute^^* That is why it didn't tire me (and you wouldn't doubt the credibility of the former sentence once you've gone into our house and then found me watching the drama for 12 hours continuously). Another thing was it wasn't focused on the love story alone, it was focused on Ahmon's family, his troubles and things like that...I just loved the way the story wasn't lagging. There were many obstacles, the past, a new date, a nemesis, and a lot of things. I thought the plot was going to concentrate on Li Xiang's obsession and all that, but it was really good that I was proved wrong.

The only thing that bugged me throughout the drama was the exaggerated obsession. SHEESH, it was scary. Everybody was like stalking everybody, and it was creepy, and then Qi Yue suddenly forgives them without even twitching her face, which was even creepier. But hey, it's a drama, what can I say?

The cast? Oh, the loveable cast..THE REALLY, REALLY LOVEABLE CAST.

Rainie Yang played the part of Qi Yue, well, at the time, I hated the fact that they've always compared Ariel Lin with her. I especially loved Ariel Lin and It Started With A Kiss is definitely one of my faves. But seeing that Rainie is really talented and played out well, and "unreasonably cute" (as Ahmon's line would go), then she rests in my heart with Ariel Lin as two of my most favorite Taiwanese drama actresses.^^ i was surprised to know that Rainie was also a singer! HOORAH FOR RAINIE YANG CHENG LIN! But still..she stars in another drama called "Why Why Love" and co-stars again with Mike He and Kingone (Yuan Yi)...HOW UNFAIR CAN YA GET!? Still, I am looking forward to seeing that drama too.XP

Mike He was Jiang Ahmon or Ah Meng or whatever. Okay, DEFINE HUNK. Haha, look, no matter how many hairpins clipped into his hair, no matter how messy (I MEAN, NO MATTER HOW M.E.S.S.Y) his hair was, no matter how his leather jacket was SO OUT OF DATE, no matter how stupid his pants looked, no matter how much the FASHION POLICE would've bullied him, no matter how weird his fashion statement looked like...HE IS ONE HUNKAPALOOZA, I TELL YA! I mean, look at him, he grins GORGEOUSLY even if he was staring (HOTLY) at people looking like a bad boy or simply looking pissed off. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? *okay, okay, I was supposed to review his acting skills* he was good, very. *NO, I AM NOT DISTRACTED BY HIS IMPECCABLE GOOD LOOKS, I PROMISE* He was able to play the character well. You see here, I've not seen anyone act a very complicated role remarkably. Being the bad boy (being a bad boy is a hard part) and then suddenly shifting into a completely cute angel, then shifting into a weak person and all that. I love the way he played it out! HOORAH, MIKE HE JUN XIANG!

Kingone, ah, another cutie. Kingone plays Yuan Yi, Qing Zi's boyfriend. At first, I was so caught up with his pairing up with Qi Yue that I actually condemned Ahmon's squeezing into the picture. But in the end, I was very eager to his pairing up with Qing Zi! AIYA! They were so cute! Kingone's voice was *GORGEOUSLY* deep, which makes him even more suitable for his role as the basketball captain and some serious whatever guy, and then seeing him all mushed up towards Qing Zi...well, it makes you want to pinch the tv screen! He's so adorable! He's one of the reasons why I liked basketball people, really. Also, what's up with him being such an adorably good singer, too?! HAS THE WORLD SUDDENLY TURNED CRAZY OVER SINGING TAIWANESE ACTORS AND ACTRESSES?! HOORAH FOR KINGONE!

Tsai Pei Lin plays another major role, which is the role of Qing Zi. She really played it out well, and I'm so in love with her majorly cute voice. I was so caught up with her acting that when there were times Qing Zi was so pathetic, I actually hated her! She isn't really a good kisser, so the kissing bits between her and Yuan Yi weren't a five-star romantic scene for me. If it weren't for Yuan Yi's UBER romantic lines, then I'd give it 3 stars, but since Yuan Yi's just over there, speaking in his deep voice the most romantic lines, I'd give it a 4.5! HOORAH FOR TSAI PEI LIN!

The supporting characters were also good, too! Ahrang was cute (definitely..even with an another fashion-police-bullying worthy hairstyle), and Xuewei, Qi Yue's mother, was exceptionally beautiful. All others, Ahmon's gang, Li Xiang, Youhui and the others really played out well that the drama turned out to be one of Taiwan's best. Devil Beside You gets 4.5 stars!

The drama was released back in 2004, I think. But it's not too late to watch it if you still haven't! GOOO! *AND DON'T BUY PIRATED CD'S! YOU DON'T WANT TO WATCH A SERIES WITH DELETED SCENES JUST LIKE I DID! BELIEVE ME!*

Pictures were robbed from asianfanatics.com

This blogging thing with pictures really fascinates li'l ol' primitive me, which explains why I am uncontrollably typing entries this weekend. Alas! Addiction once again, and then goodbye dear bloggie the next! My previous diaries and blogs would know how that would feel. As for you, let's just wait and see.

Anyway, have you ever felt like you wanted to get away with something, but the freaking heck that you can't? Darn it, I wanted to watch some anime in the net, but I can't. Everything's driving me away from the computer, and it's pissing me off already. Weeeeell, temptation got the best of me, but God did everything for me to avoid it. Grah, I think it's normal but...GRAAAAAH.~ never mind.

I'm currently tinkering with the CSS, and God knows if I'll be able to pull this off. I don't know nothing about layouts, so pray for me..please, just do.xD

It's because of this evil, young man that watching "Jenny" has become the world's daily ritual. I mean, look at him. Every trace of his face defines and magnifies his hidden evil side, and it also lures unsuspecting teenage girls from all over the world. Together with his again evil voice, he slowly gathers up power that will then be political, conquering the population of the world! Alas, this young man is very mistaken, though, because I assure you, I have not been lured, fooled or anything in between. I am a KYLE-PATRICK-FREE teenaged girl! I don't watch Jenny!

Oh nooooo, I am not victimized by his loveable big, crooked nose, his magnetizing large and beautiful eyes, his perfectly thick eyebrows, his luscious red lips, his deep and inviting voice, his enchantingly sweet smile, his ruddy-framed hair, and his gorgeous, tall build. NO! You cannot catch me sneaking up and watching their Jenny music video or watching his fan-made montage, or...or staring at his pictures or writing an entry on my blog named after him everytime I get the chance to use the computer! You see? I'm not just any ordinary fan girl, I'm not even his fan girl! I do not even dare thinking that even if it's a measly "Happy Birthday" song that he's singing could melt me! No! Pathetic! I don't declare Kyle Patrick, 21, Click Five's new vocalist, as my new Dan Rad! I mean, I will never be caught dead watching the show, "The Band Behind the Band", a show where Kyle was shown having a hard time dealing to be the "new guy"! Never shall you think that I ever symphatized him because he had a hard time adjusting! I mean, please, he's definitely NOT INSANELY GORGEOUS. Just look at him! He's not nearly attractive, compared to what hypnotized girls claim. This Kyle Patrick petty fandom world, I worry about! Open your eyes, people! Kyle Patrick? He's a sell-out! Forget about him! Open your eyes people, this is world domination, and Kyle Patrick's behind it! BEWARE! Be vigilant! Be cautious of the evil human in the form of the new Click Five vocalist, Kyle Patrick! Avoid him at all costs! Someday you will thank me for this, but for now, I do understand resistance.

*please do excuse my lack of parallelism while typing this entry, when it comes to writing about Kyle, everything just goes wrong. You see? Kyle's bad news. Ignore him! Ignore him, ladies!*

FOR HE IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!

*talk about issues*

Xerez. Surely, it isn't of any resemblance to some filipino names like Maria, Clara, and other names..I don't even know where it came from, and yes, even my father doesn't. He just wanted all of our names to start with X and end with Z, thus producing Xerez, Yza, and Zara. I also understand that 'z' isn't very ordinary when it comes to filipino names. It sounds a little modern..because I am modern. I'm a modern teenager, I'm seventeen. I do things people do today, I text, I surf the web, I watch the television, I fantasize myself walking with my crushes, I blog, I play..In a nutshell, I'm 100% normal. But that doesn't stop me from being like this.

My friends may see me as a killjoy or doesn't like hanging out with me when we hold flag ceremonies every morning. There's a simple reason behind all that, and it is quite obvious if you're like me; I completely ignore them. I don't know if it's right, but I told them through and through that I won't talk to them no matter what they say or do when it comes to those kind of ceremonies. Sometimes they even laugh at me, but it's because they were a bit embarrassed...well you got shoo-ed off, so that's enough a reason.

Of course, I'm not the biggest nerd in my class, and definitely not an autistic person. My whole class is bonded like glue, and we're all friends with each other. We do the silliest things every normal teenager would do, hang out a lot and also study hard. But there is always something that they really can't understand fully about me. I hold the deepest respect from my country. Something my classmates wouldn't understand, something my friends wouldn't understand, something that even my parents wouldn't understand. No, I'm not saying that they aren't proud being Filipinos, I'm just saying that there's something about me and the Philippines that they can't get. That includes being pissed off at your dad six days before his flight away from here just (for me it isn't just "just") because they think it's rubbish to buy a 200-peso Philippine flag to put in our house in the barrio. I didn't talk to them for two full hours, and finally, i spoke up and Tatay explained to me his side and then we apologized to each other.

When you're Pinoy and asked something about the Philippines, something very much obvious, like, "How many stars are there in our national flag?" and you answered it wrong, it's like you're stabbing me straight at my heart. I'm not exaggerating, really. There's something instilled inside me, something that's flaming. Sometimes, I want to cry. I want to cry because my fellow Filipinos do not feel the same way I feel about my country...some don't even care for our country. It saddens me because they cannot feel the pleasures of being  a Filipino.

The pleasures? I'm sure there are a lot of pleasures of being a citizen of your own country and the simplest of them still brightens up one's self. Be it that you're American, German, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc., right?

How about me? Let me share to you the wonderful things I feel by living every moment of my life of being a Filipino.

Do you experience having goosebumps? I do, I feel that everytime I am inspired or in awe. Whenever I hear a good song, a talented singer, or an inspiring movie, my skin goes like crazy, my hair stands up to its end and blood rushes to my head. It's a weird feeling, actually, but I got used to it as time flew by. But you know, it even gets crazier when we sing the national anthem. I'm not a good singer, really, my voice goes squeaky everytime I need to use it, and when I don't, it's perfectly normal. But when it comes to the national anthem, I don't really care if I hit a VERY sour note. I just love singing my heart away in that song. It traps me in some surreal dimension, where I feel like the people who do care about the country the same way as I do sings with me in chorus.

The rich culture of our country makes me fall in love with it ten times more. Our festivals, like barrio fiestas, Holy Week, Christmas, anything in between! Our manners, like kissing the hands of your elders, saying "Po" and "Opo" while talking to them, and the immense hospitability of the people! The food that we eat, yes, the wonderful Sinantomas, Adobo, Sinigang, (drool) and other Pinoy delicacies! Our dances, songs, traditional costumes! Ah, if only there were still as many people who appreciate these things!

Okay, so don't mistake me as the next Department of Tourism secretary. Politics or anything connected with that isn't my thing.

Back when I was in sophomore, I held great interests concerning the Japanese culture due to my obsessiveness to animes, or japanese cartoons. I badly wanted to be turned into a Japanese, fly away to Japan, speak Nihonggo, wear a kimono and stay there until I marry some chinky-eyed Japanese. I felt very guilty about that. Immaturity, how well do you embarrass me. Haha! It's not that I close myself from other countries and culture, it's just that I came to appreciate the foreign first before my own. Gradually, I learned my mistakes and changed as a better Filipino. Yes, I can still hold great interests concerning Japan, but Philippines will stay number one in my heart through and through.

Baro't saya is the women's traditional attire. You know, I always dreamed of myself wearing a Filipinana, or a Maria Clara someday. I wore one when I participated in my school's folk dance presentation, but it didn't even last for half an hour, and the wardrobe was literally falling off my shoulders. It was sort of too big for me. I really, really, really dream of wearing a quality or original Maria Clara gown. I even fantasize myself being with someone and finding me at my prettiest when I wear one.

Another pleasure that I have learned while growing up would be my appearance. Yes, I don't look like the next Miss Universe, but I completely appreciate my appearance. It shows more "Pinoy" in me and I want to show it off to the world. It may also be a reason why I don't like people dying their hair in different colors. It's something that I don't really understand. I grew to love my short height (it is normal here), my mocassined skin, my lowly-bridged nose, my black hair, my black eyes, everything that shows off Filipino.

The very unique happiness when I see our flag. I love our flag. Just a while ago, I got a free Mercury Drug flag from the market, and I was waving it inside the tricycle. Some people who saw me find me quite odd, though, but I didn't care. I love the design, I love the meaning behind every color, every symbol and every line. I love the way the people respect it. I love the way people look up to it. I just love our flag. I can sign up a soldier so I can have enough an excuse to salute it when I happen to see it just so I wouldn't be mistaken as a crazy person if I ever salute a flag in the middle of the road.

Original Pilipino Music! My mother and father taught me a lot about appreciating your own. I even learned appreciating Frank Sinatra because of them, even the Beegees, The Beatles, Spiral Staircase, anything in between. I also have some favorite foreign bands, singers and songs, too. Though I do admire them, nothing beats OPM! I love the way we're now appreciating our own music these days. It's a big improvement, considering that foreign hits have always dominated the charts some five years ago. Right now, 7 out 10 songs are OPM when it comes to hit charts. There are also a lot of times when it would be 10 out 10. My mother, eventhough she's quite old, appreciates that, too. She totally supports young, talented singers and bands eventhough they crack her eardrums. I find that amusing about her. Because of her influence, I came to appreciate some singers from her time, like Basil Valdez, Rey Valera, and the Apo Hiking Society.

I'm not that good when it comes to numbers, so it also includes a bit about memorizing dates, but I am very much in love with History. I love studying about the history of every country in the world, and my favorites include the countries in Asia, and some European countries and of course, American history. Too much for a seventeen-year old, really. I'm not saying I mastered all of these, I just fancy reading a lot about them and research as much as I can. Whenever I'm not busy, I skim on some of my old textbooks and some encyclopedias here, though I still haven't touched the "Annals of America" for my parents moved them out of the house. But of course, I especially love the Philippine History. If my old book back in high school freshman weren't transferred into our school, I would've read it five times by now. Okay, more like ten or nine..it's because I really like memorizing all about it that I oftenly used the marker when I use it. I can hardly read anything. I LOVE the Philippine History. I love the people who made history, who makes history, who tries to make history and who will make history. Eventhough I have right now, three full hours of Histoy lectures, I'm still alright with it. I just love reading the Philippine History. Nothing compares to Philippine History, and yes, this formal essay is now a drabbling entry.

I love the people in my country. I love my compatriots. Without these people, my country still wouldn't be a home. I love how we always smile and stay optimistic, how we adapt to different environments, how we improvise, how we shout to the world that we're alive, how we contribute to the human race, how we live our lives, how we pray, play and work, how we stay persistent and determined, how we diligently aim for achievements, how we sacrifice ones' happiness for the betterment of his family and people, how we are as Filipinos! Though as I have mentioned above, we could use a boost when it comes to nationalistic spirit.

I know that if some professional author happened to click the wrong link and lead him here, he would've told me off or said something about doing the things I said above by yourself. I keep on drabbling all around here, but am I doing these things that I am saying here? Yes, I do. If not, I wouldn't've had made this post this long.

I am a member of the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls here in our local town. I am grateful, for I have been given a lot of opportunities to show to my fellowmen the pride of being a Filipino at this young age. With this opportunity, I start with the improvement of myself, before I try to influence others. I can go to flower offerings and commemorate special events, read more about Masonic teachings, mingle with more Filipinos and learn more about the Philippines. Little by little, I am growing up, too. I am starting everything from myself first, I hope you will, too. I don't like holding tears or crying anymore, so starting now, I'll do something. I'm one of the youth force, too! Someday, when what I know is enough, I'll share the knowledge I have to everybody! MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!

Hi. I don't know, but a lot of people may consider me as the biggest nerd around, but I am very nationalistic but limiting to the extent of being reasonable. And you may know more about that in my next entry. Xerez as a Filipino.. it's not much, and it even isn't .092834019234092348 millimeters nearer to Rizal's pieces, but I just want to put in here my pride of being a Pinoy, because I'm extremely proud. My favoritEST subject would be Philippine History and my classmates find me very odd when talking all about it..anyway, i'm doing this also for a contest i'm preparing on, so wish me luck..! My dad told me to type in a few sentences, but it looks like I'll be typing two entries for today, one for the celebration of Independence Day, and one about Jose Rizal..^^

Thus, my thoughts flow back again.

Haha...Remember me?

*Bloggie shrugs*

it's been a veeeeeeeeeeery long time since I try updating my blog. XP I'm sorry.. There's just nothing to talk about, well, concerning my feelings and all..I'm trying as hard to find a crush so that I'd have a partner in my made up music videos that my brain cooks up before I sleep. Haha..

Well, I've been pretty busy, here are all the important events:

My father, sister, brother-in-law and older brother went home. Yay!!!

We've gone to the JS Prom, but of course, I didn't cry.XP

I'm right now, a FRIENDSHIP prioritizing machine, that's why I haven't any news about looovelife.

I graduated High School! Yay!

I'm busy working on my college application forms *nervously bites her nails*

I made the layouts for our academe.

I've been installed as the WAA for Rainbow.

I just went to Tayabas last Saturday.

I need to make an emblem now.

Well, a lot's been happening right now, that's why I can't find time to actually go emotional and all that crap.

I think I'm growing up to be a more organized person, and feelings and boys aren't exactly my thing right now.

Oh yea, I'm totally into Ouran right now, I'm an anime addict once again!

Actually, I am participating on forums, which I enjoy most!

I made a vid, wanna see it?

Well, I am a bit nervous about college. I don't actually know what is going on around me. I feel like I'm floating in a stable state of atmosphere. You know, like I don't know what's ahead for me..or maybe I still don't want to know..Like I want to stay in this time forever.

I'm missing my friends a lot. About that errr romance thingy that I used as a fuel to fill my blog up, well, that's nothing anymore..I'm having fun with all my friends!^^ Haha..I'm really missing those crazy guys..makes me want to go to high school once again.XP

I don't know..I was afraid that I'll change when I'll be in college..I feel like I'm totally changing right now..I mean, compare this entry to the others..I feel like a rock's typing this, and not the same ol' overly passionate girl I once was before. Is it good?

*Sigh*

Umuulit muli ang saklap..para sa ibang tao.

Siguro ang balemtimes day talagang ganito, pinasasaklap ang buhay ng ibang tao, pinasasaya naman para sa iba. Sa akin naman, araw pa rin siya, sa kasosihan lang niya siguro kaya inartihan pa. Sana sa May 25 araw nalang ng magaganda. Huwag nang magtanong kung alam na ang sagot ( EHEM, EHEM)

Noong nakaraang dalawang taon, sinusumpa ko ang balemtimes day kasi wala man lamang yung mga pate-arts na pabigay-bigay ng regalo, o roses, at ang masaklap pa noon, maaring ang katabi mo ay may nakuhang TSOKOLATE.

Yun yun eh!

Alam mo ba iyong damdaming ang katabi mo kumagat na ng kumagat ng tsokolateng isa't kalahati din namang mamahalin, imported pa. At hindi niya gumawang mang-alok! Kung alam mo..ang galing mo naman! Buti ako hindi pa.

Masaklap siguro ang balemtimes ko. Maaring ito ang araw na aalis pabalik ang tatay ko. Siya ang importanteng lalaki sa buhay ko. Tingnan mo nama't tiba-tiba ang tsokolateng dala ng tatay ko. Masaklap lalo kay nanay iyon. Pero wala na rin kaming magagawa. Hay.

Iniisip ko, balemtimes na sumunod na linggo ng susunod ng linggo. Kung sakaling hindi nga umalis ang tatay ko't nakapasok ako, paano kaya iyon, ano?! Sa tingin mo kaya'y babahain ako ng kagila-gilalas ng sorpresa? O baka wala ka lang nakikita, tulog ka na?!

Siyempre, ako din nama'y excited na, ngunit hindi rin umaasa. Ang balemtimes day ay February 14, at magiging Feb. 14 na siya hanggang sa nagkaapo na ang apo ng apo ng apo ng apo ng apo ko. Plus 2345677112345 pa.

Ikalat ang pagmamahalan sa kaibigan!

Ikalat ang pagmamahalan sa buong mundo!

Ikalat ang pagmamahalan sa pamilya!

Ikalat lalo ang pagmamahal sa Diyos!

Happi balemtimes day!

Gaya nga naman ng sabi ng maraming hayskul na estudyante:

"KEEEEEEEEEESS!!"

*sino yung 4a1 na may balat sa kaliwang braso?

*pakilala kita!

*miss ganda, penge naman ng number mo (sabay grab ng photo)

*ano yun, may crush sa'yo?

*ikaw, hinihingi niya number mo.

Kung sino mang kakilala ko o hindi man na napindot ang aking blog, huwag ka rin sanang magugulat. Yun bang papantayan mo pa ang hitsura kong nanalalaglag ang panga at kahit malaki na ang mata ay nagagawan ng paraan pang lampasin ang kapasidad. Kung isipin mo man na ako'y nagpapansin at nagyayabang dahil ang aking mga pinagsusulat ay mga sinasabi ng ibang tao para lamang ipagpahanga na ako'y may hitsura (weh?!) na wala naman talaga, ay huwag mo nang aksayahin ang oras mo.

Oo, alam ko namang hindi totoo yang mga nakikita nyo sa ibabaw na may kakirirayan pa ng asterisk. Siguro ay wala lang mapagtripan yang mga taong yan. Inabot na nila siguro ang kalingkingan ng pagiging desperado, at dahil lagi lang naman akong naka-anga sa langit, ay nabingwit nila ako bilang isang walang kamala'y malay na biktima.

Nakakatawa lang naman. Kasi tinatanong ko din naman kung bakit ako pa, pero nasagot ko rin naman yang tanong ko (at maaring tanong mo rin). Kasi ang mga kakilala at mga kaibigan ko mga taken na, kaya ako ay ang kinikilala ninyong "last resort". Siguro ang tingin nila sa akin ay ang huling swimming pool. Nyi, ang corny, huwag na lang.

Ansaklap, ahooo. Pero ang sarap ng feeling kapag humahaba ang hair mo. Pero babalik at babalik din ang saklap. Bakit? Dahil ang mga taong sasambit ng mga bagay na ninanais mong marinig ay hindi rin pala kapwa may hitsura..O, sige, hindi mo na mapagtitiisan.

Tamaan ng kidlat ang mapanlait na pandak!

Siguro iyong isa, mapagtitiisan pa. Iyong iba...huwaw ang sarap ata ng ulam!

Ang lahat ng kasama't kaibigan ko, magaganda, at kapag isinama mo ako sa grupo nila, nagmumukha akong nagmumurang kamatis sa gitna ng isang katerbong nagagandang singkamas.

Mayroon din akong magnetic shield, at napatunayan kong hindi lang si Jenelle ang nagtataglay ng isang natatanging kapangyarihan na iyon (huwag mong tanungin kung kamag-anak ko siya, kahit kamukha ko siya, dahil hindi ako magsasalita! Hindeee!) May magnetic shield ako na nagpapatalsik paalis ng mga katagang, "Hindi nga, ang ganda mo!" o kaya naman, "Bakit ba, eh sa nagagandahan ako sa iyo!",o "Maganda ka nga!". Aaminin ko, naaliw ako 'pag naririnig ko ang mga salitang iyon. Tumutuliling ang tainga ko, sa totoo lang. Kaya siguro kalahati ng dahilan ko na ako'y humihindi ay nasasarapan ang tainga kong tumuliling. Pero huwag ka ding mag-alala, dahil magigising muli ang ulo ko upang ipaalala sa akin na iyon ay hindi totoo.

Huwag mo namang mamasamain, hindi ako masamang tao. Okay lang naman. Siguro medyo maayos naman ang loob ko, pero ang labas, ay masasabi kong hindi talaga ako maisisiksik sa kategorya ng "magandang babae".

Malaki ang tiwala ko sa mga kaibigan ko, pero kapag sinasabi nila iyan, alam ko naman na iyon ay dahil pinapalubag lang talaga nila ang loob ko.

Kaya kapag nakakarinig ako ng ganoon mula sa ibang tao, asahan mong tumuliling ang tainga ko, tapos sasabihin kong hindi, at kapag inulit mo pa, tutuliling ulit. Pero asahan mo rin naman hindi nga ako naniniwala.

i skipped a month! gad!

sorry, dear bloggie. january was a busy month, i was condemning it already. the ncae, the college entrance exams results, the science fairs, the contests and a whole lot of crap! haha!

lemme see, here is an update of whazappen (i am initiating a word revolution, mind you.)

jan 1: course this was new year..i jumped dozens of times..it was supposed to be only three. SO THAT'S WHY I'M NOT GETTING ANY TALLER!*laughs goofily*

jan 2: killjoy school started this day..bakero.

jan 3: i no longer remember what happened..Xp

jan 4: this was jennie's bday.

jan 5: weee, it was Ian's bday!

jan 6: it's tatay's bday! wooo!

jan 7:mmmm..

jan 8: more mmm's.

jan 9: ooh..this was gianna's bday, she treated us with pizza! woo! pizza!

jan 10:TATAY WENT HOME!! YATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

jan 11: it's all about friggin' ncae tension..for the teachers, that is.

jan 12: haha, we planned on giving mam p a bday surprise, and though it got a little mixed up, it got through! haha! it was so fun! i read our letter for her in the quadrangle with a crap of a number of audience *ears go red* then we gave mam p our gifts and our cake, and it was uber fun!

jan 13: this was a saturday..^^

jan 14: a big duh, sunday..

jan 15: fiesta time! bes and I slept at the same time that night, after watching spongecola's concert in tv! weee! o yea, today's mam p's bday, and kua pau's bday. we went to kuya pau's bday and we totally had a blast! wahoot!

jan 16: preparing for the ncae with the rest of the class! it was uber exciting!

jan 17: the big ncae event.

jan 18: preparing for economics mind gaems contest..and don't ask why it's spelled like that. it's all in the head..Xp

jan 19: i competed in the essay writing for the said event. wooo! i won 2nd place! supposedly, i was tied in the first place with rural, but i guess her essay's better..besides, 2nd's still good^^

jan 20: i went to uplb with mam tabo, elena, dionelle and paeng for the said genecamp where i am supposed to compete for my first ever extemporaneous contest..this was the best best best held event i've ever attended! the genesoc people were so warm, though that day, the contestants were a little tense, but they managed to break the ice..it was fun! we had a tour and i learned sooo much! i loved it! it was all about genetics..haha! wouldn't you believe! lc, as far as i remember, won for the division basketball team..and the girls' volleyball team?! sue me.

jan 21: the best part of genecamp! i knew a lot of people! the contestants were closer than ever, and it was a very friendly and healthy competition. imagine wishing another contestant good luck! weee! it was so much fun! i gained a lot of friends! i won 3rd place for the extempo! haha! thank you God! ^^and this day was prince's bday..

jan 22-26:i was always absent these days, studying for my special tests and making up for my missed works..tsk.

jan 27: we finished our summative exams, which is the visuals for our investigatory project..^^ i met minky, gennina's siamese cat, and she (or was he a he?!) was so cute! this was cham's bday!

jan 28: a sunday, still studying for the examinations..elena's bday!

jan 29-31: Science fair! i was quizmaster for the regulars contest and quizmaster for...uhh...lemme catch up..uhh..*forehead wrinkles* ah! chemistry! at the average round..now i remember, darren! and my crush won! woo! you go...man?! haha! i was so proud, i felt like i was his mother! i as the flagger for the clash of the titans, then an emcee for the clash of the teachers! it was uber fun!

that ends our daily update for january! geez! it was exhausting! if i didn't leave you satisfied, think again.

many happenings..

i just got from our christmas party, rainbow and demolay's, with a few moms and dads..it was fun, though..XP

insanely tired. i am reading the five people you meet in heaven..and i hafta make a comic strip within a short length of time.

and then a lot of people died because of some fire incident in ormoc..T--T it was a dumb department store illegally selling fireworks and the dumbasses that they are, they locked the fire exit..i hope you have a good year. and about the fireworks stuff, oh, it is goin' insane..i think it is a lot better without having any friggin' fireworks at all. i agree with america.XP

i am wearing a pink blouse, a skirt and doll shoes to boot for about two consecutive times. aiya!

anyway, i hope we do learn from our mistakes..and quit being dumbasses and then laying other people who don't actually care about you being a dumbass in the line.

may they rest in peace.

i better pray.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!