i too, have noticed how lame my topics are beginning to slip. it seems that my enthusiasm has been drained down to the pipe that leads to heck knows where. lately, i cannot think straight, i cannot squeeze any ideas for my stories, and my whole body won't work out with me when i am trying to forcefully engross myself to tons of things to study. like for example, that stewpid contest i have been trying to commit to for the last month was really useless. my passion for science died ever since we had a teletubby to teach us with no sufficient reason to do so. Much like what he seems to look like. i have been so dead bored just looking plainly at my books ogling at me back, not what i was before. oh sure, it would take me lotsa minute to stare at them, but i'll opt to read it then...but right now, it seems like each glucose stored in my body was freezed to death!

i cannot really understand what is with my behavior lately. it's like, whoo...there's this big hole engraved within me...i dunno! it seems like i'm stuck in this dimensional abyss with me not knowing where to go. i cannot understand myself. it's like i am doing something i am not even aware of. 0___0...you think i am going crazy? no, i am not joking, but, do you really think so?garsh...

i've been feeling a little light this past week, and i dun know why. i.e., my head would be floating in mid-air suddenly, and it's like my body was seemingly stuck there as if it froze! ACK! why the hell are they not cooperating with me! anyway, while taking a shower this afternoon, i got my inspirational booster. dunno what booster it is, but i hated it. inspired by my story of love...you know, the whole dumb, bestfriend stuff? i can't explain why i just can't get rid of that dumb face off my head. i said i'm moving on, but i am beginning to doubt myself. maybe i am just joking myself. i am forcing to think that way and i can't really accept the fact that i can't be sane without him running through my head every now and then!

BUT IT'S ALL WRONG!

i am not supposed to feel that i lost! i should see my bestfriend's perspective that it's his loss, and so not mine. who does he think he is!? the king of the world?i don't think so.

okay, so i am up for the test. this week, i am going to forget him. i challenge ME!