hOly swEET motHEr of all BAlonEYs!

you, have nooo nooo idea how i feel so stressed today, and yeah, i know, i've been feeling that for the last week, and i swear i can't find time for me to sleep aaaall day long with no further worries, whether when should i study this, memorize this, read this! *GAWD! it really drives me completely insane! how did i enter myself into such predicament!? MAn, everything is really weight on my back! Look, my teacher just gave me THREE miserable books that are expected to be studied and memorized by tomorrow...and i haven't even started yet! and another...the stupid oration stuff! Oh why, why, why must i make it too hard for myself!? my teacher asked me if i can still handle the responsibility, but unfortunately, my humongous mouth was out of control, insisting that i can. WHY DIDN'T I JUST TELL THE TRUTH!?  aaah, stupid, stupid! oh yeah, and that ECOMAC is honestly driving me up to the wall. I assume you have visited my best friends blog for the definition of the suckiest thing that ever existed in this hell of a world! HEar ye, hear ye...i hafta wear dumb DOLL SHOES and a PINK blazer just to success my scene with no dialogues nor would it even last 10 seconds! Why is fate so maaaaad at me?! well, i'm mad at fate too! HAH! -__-'...about the books...i really cannot muster the energy of even opening it. THe vocabulary one is letting me down, because i have been getting loooow scores, but i plan of advancing the stuff since i really cannot bear embarrassment to a person who expects so much of me. Naturally, a person with too much expectations for me really pisses me off, but i dun think my teacher "expects", i guess she just "trusts" me that i can do it, and i will do whatever it takes just to do so...but the thing is, starting just for me, i already am degrading myself! however shall i win if i dun have the confidence even just to compete! Right now, i am taking the contest a lot seriously, but i guess it would not hurt so much just to update mah bloggie, ne!? HAI! I just hate it that i will be there just to raise our school banner over for the "winning prize" and nothing for my benefits...awwwww...i hate it when so many people expect too much of what i can handle! waaahh!!

anyway, news flash about him...well...everything's going completely fine, and the thing is, i swear i can feel "it" wearing off, and thank God for that! ^__^ though, sometimes i couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy when he looks like he's flirting with his "former" crush...but hey, i have my whole life to get it over with. i did expect that it wouldn't be as easy as that, but i swore to myself that i'd get over this pathetic stage to re-open and reconstruct my whole reputation of "the most carefree gurl on the block who smiles what she wants to cry". XD..laugh, laugh till you fart...i won't smell it anyhow.

and yeah, dun forget My SAssy Girl CHun HyanG! ohhh dAMNaTion! wahahahaha!!! i just can't help screaming when i saw the trailer for next monday, and i friggin' cannot wait! YAHOO!! MArvin is goin' tuh propose to chun hyang! wahihihihi! hahaha! yeah, i very much have changed, and i can feel it. i express more of my femininity than that of my tomboy actions and perspectives. i just want to let it all out, and i can't live my life pretending not to like wearing long skirts, or combing my hair...things like that...i am a female, too, people! dare to argue, i'll kill each and every one of you!i am not afraid of showing out what i really feel though sometimes i'd be overly-conscious at some other matters which involve people whom i know are a level before my status...-__-' hihihi..let me be...

anyway, i'll get to sleep now, i hafta wake up by 4.30 if i can and will try to study some of the AMerican Lit. my teacher assigned me of. night night, bloggie!