it is only seven days until christmas, and i really do not feel like it. It's so odd. For the last 14 years of my living, i didn't expect myself not to be in the "christmas spirit" this year. I just do not know. What is the "christmas spirit" anyway!?

I was killing myself this month because i wasn't eating. Yeah. Big deal, ain't it? But eating is a necessity! I'd die doing a diet! Eating is my hobby, eating is my pleasure! Yes, pleasure!((nuts)). I don't care if my figure blows up, so as long as i was eating. But,no, honestly, i wasn't eating recess the school period just so i can save up moolas for my friends' gifts. Lotsa moolas i really cannot gather up for my piggy bank. I dunno what is it with saving that it's so friggin' hard tuh do! I was supposed to print my bestfriend's fanfiction...which actually is uhmm...a hundred plus pages. Now that was suicide. Now, next stop, i was planning on burning a cd for my gang, with printed lyrics and whatevers. But i cannot afford the printed lyrics. Lotsa printing, yes. Here's another one, i planned on giving bespren a jersey with a cheesy print saying "most valuable bespren" stuff...but i went berserk when he told me a jersey costs half a thousand which i thought was only a...hundred? *smiles sheepishly*...Right now, i am saving up for my mum's shoes, and my brother's cap...oh temptation, avoid meeee!

anyway, well, yeah. I was soooo much busy saving up that i forgot, "HEY, IT'S CHRISTMAS!". I was so caught up with all the "le's give everybody gifts! yes, gifts!" I dun really know...but lookie here, i forgot my donations! BAKERRRROOOOOO!!! i really felt so much bad right after that! i cannot even help in my own little ways, and the thing tha's bugging me is my reason! My pathetic reason why i wasn't able to bring my donations! I was busy!I was busy!? BAKA! How busy was i that i even forgot my duty to my brothers?! To help them! They were a lot less fortunate than i was and here i am..."busy". ARRRRRGH! HOnestly, this is driving me so nuts. XD. Sorry. No, i really am.

anyway...sorry guys, if my gifts didn't work out. But still...i could've expressed my love for you not by money or gifts..but with my own little gestures. I could've hugged you or kissed you...*sigh*. I am really sorry...! But still..i did hug you, didn't i?! XD.

Christmas is so weird. It really sucks you into this whole yuletide season that makes you all...HAPPY! Yes, very happy indeed! But of course, the time when Jesus was born should be a time to be remembered! YAY! I really love all the Santa business...! YAY!

uhmm..yeah. be right back.