I cannot say I actually am a confident kind of person. Oh, sure, it's not that I cannot face a crowd, or speak of my opinions or anything like that. I do not really know how to gather much confidence and well, bravery to accept and say "thank you" whenever I have been given a compliment. Much so, I would eventually shrug it off, or just snicker by chance. It's just that, having my kind of childhood who so often gathered too many confidence that bubbled my head with unbearable ego that made me realize that my atittude back then was really, really annoying. I can't blame kids back then who act like me. They look so annoying you just want to step on their faces and forget all about their cutesy pretty little heads.

Oh, so now, they say I insult them. I don't mean it, and they say they do understand that. So, I just did that by a much longer time, and then I've realized how insulting it must've been. You see here, we have this smart friend who'll always tell us that she had failed studying for this certain quiz and then eventually would gain the highest or possibly a higher and "passing" grade than the rest of barkada had obtained. It really looked so demeaning, eventhough we know that she was just trying to errr..comfort us or something like that or just get on with the same boat. But it looked like she abandoned us somewhat, so it was very not nice...yea, not nice.

So I placed myself in hers. I...I don't really think my drawing skills ain't that "WHOA, IS THAT FOR REAL!?" or something like that, but they say, compared to them, mine is just like that. I feel as if I don't deserve this nor even that. I don't think I even deserve everything I've got! I don't think I would ever deserve my honor stuff, my wonderful friends, my happy family and gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..

So, my resolution?!

I would have to just...say bravely and confidently, the "thank you" I owed my friends for years. I need that thank you to fill a quarter of my barely-hanging-there confidence I must've lost years ago when I resolved to be more humble to kick off my unbearable ego back when I'm in my childhood.

Two, I'll do everything just to make me rest assured that every blessing I obtain is in the right place and that I do deserve them. I'll try my best to be "deserving", said in a shorter way. These blessing are more than enough, and somehow I feel like He's showering me with it, and I'll make Him see, along with the rest of the world that I'll take care of it, and that I'll  be a deserving person of them.

Last Friday, when I was eating my breakfast or dinner or whatever that I was doing, I saw my translucent reflection staring back at me. It was me, and a realization stroke at my head saying that I need to know myself better and be thankful that I am me. No one could ever be me, except for me. So who would love me if I won't love myself? Who would give me compliments if I don't give one myself? I am Xerez and I am up to the test of making myself feel special and unique. ^^