Xerez. Surely, it isn't of any resemblance to some filipino names like Maria, Clara, and other names..I don't even know where it came from, and yes, even my father doesn't. He just wanted all of our names to start with X and end with Z, thus producing Xerez, Yza, and Zara. I also understand that 'z' isn't very ordinary when it comes to filipino names. It sounds a little modern..because I am modern. I'm a modern teenager, I'm seventeen. I do things people do today, I text, I surf the web, I watch the television, I fantasize myself walking with my crushes, I blog, I play..In a nutshell, I'm 100% normal. But that doesn't stop me from being like this.

My friends may see me as a killjoy or doesn't like hanging out with me when we hold flag ceremonies every morning. There's a simple reason behind all that, and it is quite obvious if you're like me; I completely ignore them. I don't know if it's right, but I told them through and through that I won't talk to them no matter what they say or do when it comes to those kind of ceremonies. Sometimes they even laugh at me, but it's because they were a bit embarrassed...well you got shoo-ed off, so that's enough a reason.

Of course, I'm not the biggest nerd in my class, and definitely not an autistic person. My whole class is bonded like glue, and we're all friends with each other. We do the silliest things every normal teenager would do, hang out a lot and also study hard. But there is always something that they really can't understand fully about me. I hold the deepest respect from my country. Something my classmates wouldn't understand, something my friends wouldn't understand, something that even my parents wouldn't understand. No, I'm not saying that they aren't proud being Filipinos, I'm just saying that there's something about me and the Philippines that they can't get. That includes being pissed off at your dad six days before his flight away from here just (for me it isn't just "just") because they think it's rubbish to buy a 200-peso Philippine flag to put in our house in the barrio. I didn't talk to them for two full hours, and finally, i spoke up and Tatay explained to me his side and then we apologized to each other.

When you're Pinoy and asked something about the Philippines, something very much obvious, like, "How many stars are there in our national flag?" and you answered it wrong, it's like you're stabbing me straight at my heart. I'm not exaggerating, really. There's something instilled inside me, something that's flaming. Sometimes, I want to cry. I want to cry because my fellow Filipinos do not feel the same way I feel about my country...some don't even care for our country. It saddens me because they cannot feel the pleasures of being  a Filipino.

The pleasures? I'm sure there are a lot of pleasures of being a citizen of your own country and the simplest of them still brightens up one's self. Be it that you're American, German, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc., right?

How about me? Let me share to you the wonderful things I feel by living every moment of my life of being a Filipino.

Do you experience having goosebumps? I do, I feel that everytime I am inspired or in awe. Whenever I hear a good song, a talented singer, or an inspiring movie, my skin goes like crazy, my hair stands up to its end and blood rushes to my head. It's a weird feeling, actually, but I got used to it as time flew by. But you know, it even gets crazier when we sing the national anthem. I'm not a good singer, really, my voice goes squeaky everytime I need to use it, and when I don't, it's perfectly normal. But when it comes to the national anthem, I don't really care if I hit a VERY sour note. I just love singing my heart away in that song. It traps me in some surreal dimension, where I feel like the people who do care about the country the same way as I do sings with me in chorus.

The rich culture of our country makes me fall in love with it ten times more. Our festivals, like barrio fiestas, Holy Week, Christmas, anything in between! Our manners, like kissing the hands of your elders, saying "Po" and "Opo" while talking to them, and the immense hospitability of the people! The food that we eat, yes, the wonderful Sinantomas, Adobo, Sinigang, (drool) and other Pinoy delicacies! Our dances, songs, traditional costumes! Ah, if only there were still as many people who appreciate these things!

Okay, so don't mistake me as the next Department of Tourism secretary. Politics or anything connected with that isn't my thing.

Back when I was in sophomore, I held great interests concerning the Japanese culture due to my obsessiveness to animes, or japanese cartoons. I badly wanted to be turned into a Japanese, fly away to Japan, speak Nihonggo, wear a kimono and stay there until I marry some chinky-eyed Japanese. I felt very guilty about that. Immaturity, how well do you embarrass me. Haha! It's not that I close myself from other countries and culture, it's just that I came to appreciate the foreign first before my own. Gradually, I learned my mistakes and changed as a better Filipino. Yes, I can still hold great interests concerning Japan, but Philippines will stay number one in my heart through and through.

Baro't saya is the women's traditional attire. You know, I always dreamed of myself wearing a Filipinana, or a Maria Clara someday. I wore one when I participated in my school's folk dance presentation, but it didn't even last for half an hour, and the wardrobe was literally falling off my shoulders. It was sort of too big for me. I really, really, really dream of wearing a quality or original Maria Clara gown. I even fantasize myself being with someone and finding me at my prettiest when I wear one.

Another pleasure that I have learned while growing up would be my appearance. Yes, I don't look like the next Miss Universe, but I completely appreciate my appearance. It shows more "Pinoy" in me and I want to show it off to the world. It may also be a reason why I don't like people dying their hair in different colors. It's something that I don't really understand. I grew to love my short height (it is normal here), my mocassined skin, my lowly-bridged nose, my black hair, my black eyes, everything that shows off Filipino.

The very unique happiness when I see our flag. I love our flag. Just a while ago, I got a free Mercury Drug flag from the market, and I was waving it inside the tricycle. Some people who saw me find me quite odd, though, but I didn't care. I love the design, I love the meaning behind every color, every symbol and every line. I love the way the people respect it. I love the way people look up to it. I just love our flag. I can sign up a soldier so I can have enough an excuse to salute it when I happen to see it just so I wouldn't be mistaken as a crazy person if I ever salute a flag in the middle of the road.

Original Pilipino Music! My mother and father taught me a lot about appreciating your own. I even learned appreciating Frank Sinatra because of them, even the Beegees, The Beatles, Spiral Staircase, anything in between. I also have some favorite foreign bands, singers and songs, too. Though I do admire them, nothing beats OPM! I love the way we're now appreciating our own music these days. It's a big improvement, considering that foreign hits have always dominated the charts some five years ago. Right now, 7 out 10 songs are OPM when it comes to hit charts. There are also a lot of times when it would be 10 out 10. My mother, eventhough she's quite old, appreciates that, too. She totally supports young, talented singers and bands eventhough they crack her eardrums. I find that amusing about her. Because of her influence, I came to appreciate some singers from her time, like Basil Valdez, Rey Valera, and the Apo Hiking Society.

I'm not that good when it comes to numbers, so it also includes a bit about memorizing dates, but I am very much in love with History. I love studying about the history of every country in the world, and my favorites include the countries in Asia, and some European countries and of course, American history. Too much for a seventeen-year old, really. I'm not saying I mastered all of these, I just fancy reading a lot about them and research as much as I can. Whenever I'm not busy, I skim on some of my old textbooks and some encyclopedias here, though I still haven't touched the "Annals of America" for my parents moved them out of the house. But of course, I especially love the Philippine History. If my old book back in high school freshman weren't transferred into our school, I would've read it five times by now. Okay, more like ten or nine..it's because I really like memorizing all about it that I oftenly used the marker when I use it. I can hardly read anything. I LOVE the Philippine History. I love the people who made history, who makes history, who tries to make history and who will make history. Eventhough I have right now, three full hours of Histoy lectures, I'm still alright with it. I just love reading the Philippine History. Nothing compares to Philippine History, and yes, this formal essay is now a drabbling entry.

I love the people in my country. I love my compatriots. Without these people, my country still wouldn't be a home. I love how we always smile and stay optimistic, how we adapt to different environments, how we improvise, how we shout to the world that we're alive, how we contribute to the human race, how we live our lives, how we pray, play and work, how we stay persistent and determined, how we diligently aim for achievements, how we sacrifice ones' happiness for the betterment of his family and people, how we are as Filipinos! Though as I have mentioned above, we could use a boost when it comes to nationalistic spirit.

I know that if some professional author happened to click the wrong link and lead him here, he would've told me off or said something about doing the things I said above by yourself. I keep on drabbling all around here, but am I doing these things that I am saying here? Yes, I do. If not, I wouldn't've had made this post this long.

I am a member of the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls here in our local town. I am grateful, for I have been given a lot of opportunities to show to my fellowmen the pride of being a Filipino at this young age. With this opportunity, I start with the improvement of myself, before I try to influence others. I can go to flower offerings and commemorate special events, read more about Masonic teachings, mingle with more Filipinos and learn more about the Philippines. Little by little, I am growing up, too. I am starting everything from myself first, I hope you will, too. I don't like holding tears or crying anymore, so starting now, I'll do something. I'm one of the youth force, too! Someday, when what I know is enough, I'll share the knowledge I have to everybody! MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!