*sighs*

i really miss my grandmum...heck..hope she sees me from heaven...

i love you lola!

i really 'ope you'll rest in peace!

*************

i already cried, so i guess i'm alright.

anyhoo...gad..my lovelife's been like posted into election papers...11 or either 12 more people are acknowledged to my ever ever so secret stupidity..hell..i hate it.

look, i already accepted the fact that he doesn't like me back ((though ella won't stop bugging me that he does and he was planning to court me)) because...it's SO much obvious... we don't talk that much these days and stuffs... bahh..

maybe i do love him, ne!? but i hate it! you know the feeling of doing just everything for this guy!? about giving up sumthing just for him!? or the feeling of hurting yourself because of him!? DO YOU KNOW THAT FEELING!?

it feels like crap, huh?

oh, hell it does...

anyway, i dun friggin' care if he likes another person though i really can't force myself not to be hurt...so, damn.

i said i love him, but i didn't say that he should love me  back.

OH CRAP.