THANK YOU, GOD! THANK YOU!!! GOODNESS, I WON! I WON THE CURSED ESSAY WRITING CONTEST! DAMN! I DIDN'T EXPECT TO WIN, REALLY, I WAS LOSING MY HEAD. I WAS THINKING OF COMING UP OF A DIFFERENT INTRODUCTION, HAVING TO PRACTICE OVER AND OVER OF WRITING ESSAYS AND ALL THAT FUSS. THE ARTICLES I READ FROM THE PANORAMA, MA'AM'S REVIEWERS, THE PROJECTS AND ALL THOSE CRAPS WERE GOING HAYWIRE INSIDE MY HEAD. I WAS COMMITTING A LOT OF ERRORS, BUT I DIDN'T REALLY CARE AT FIRST, BUT JESUS, WHEN THE JUDGES FINALLY SHOWED UP, MY KNEES BUCKLED THEMSELVES TOGETHER AND GAD. I THOUGHT THEY WEREN'T GOING TO EVEN READ MY ESSAY FOR MY AWFUL AND INCOMPREHENSIVE PENMANSHIP! SHEESH. BUT GOOD THING EVERYTHING I READ AND STUDIED WERE USEFUL STUFF, EVERYTHING! FROM THE GREEN REVOLUTION, THANKS TO SOC STUD LESSONS, THE GENE REVOLUTION, THANKS TO THE PROJECTS OF 1A2 ((YEA!)) AND MY PERSISTENT ATTEMPTS OF LOOKING STUFF LIKE IT IN THE INTERNET, AND OF COURSE, SUSTAINABLE AGRICULTURE, FROM PANORAMA, ((IT SAVED MY BUTT, DANG!)) AND MA'AM TABO'S BOOK! *SIIIIIGH** BUT STILL, BEFORE THE END OF THE CONTEST, MY HANDS WERE SHAKING. I GOT MY ENDING PARAGRAPHS FROM EACH CORNER OF MY DORMANT MIND, TRYING TO SQUEEZE SOMETHING FROM IT. I DO NOT KNOW IF I WOULD'VE UNDERSTOOD IT IF I WERE A JUDGE. BUT ANYWAYS, THANK GOD I WON! THANK BUDDHA!THANK MY COACH, MA'AM TABO AND MA'AM P! THANK MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS!!! DAMMIT! HAHAHA!!! I'M SPEAKING THE YZAK LANGUAGE! PLUS, I MET A LOT OF NEW FRIENDS, AND THEY'RE ALL FUN. THEY SAY I MUST BE THE NUTTIEST PERSON THEY'VE EVER KNOWN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE..GLAD TO HEAR THAT..xp AND I MET UP WITH MY KINDERGARTEN CLASSMATE BACK THEN, SHE WAS THE PERSON WHO WAS SPEAKNG IN ENGLISH BACK IN CANOSSA! HER MUM SAYS THAT IF IT WASN'T FOR MY MOTHER, WHO TAUGHT US, "PIONEERS" OF PLAYHOUSE THREE HOW TO SPEAK IN ENGLISH, SHE WOULDN'T BE LIKE THAT! AWW..xp HAHAHA!!!!!!! THANKS!!!!!!!

FIGHT TSEWET, FIGHT!

So I've finally squealed, and everything just followed ever little sequence of what I have expected. Mom went ballistic, telling me over and over again why didn't I follow her instrunctions...GADANGNABIT. Look, I don't consider my mother's lessons to be all irritating, but you know that I found THIS DAMNED UPCAT a present from the HELL ABOVE. I love my mother, I really do...but...I didn't trust her, crap it...it was wrong, and I was really on the brink of wishing that I bumped my head yesterday ((I collapsed)). I don't want to take those damned UPCAT stuff anymore..I've lost the will to study anyway...ARRRRGh..Why did I have to do it?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!

Then so be it!

It's not that what I did was so easy to do!

NAK NG TETENG!..

I don't want to do it 'nymore...gadangnabit.

*Sigh* So I guess I wus wrong about Paola...I think she cares for me, too, and I was stupid not to know that...I don't want to think about anything for now. XP We've been in touch this week, and well, there! One time Ferlyn told me that sometimes, we shouldn't really you know...how should I say this..na hindi naman dapat maxadong magpahalaga...dapat pinapahalagahan mo rin un iba at di lang ung isa...ngaun q lang xa narealize..^^ na may mga tao din jan na pinapahalagahan din! ano ba yan..ang tagal kong makarealize noh!? I still care for her, no bah! hahhaa! mahal na mahal ko ata best ko, nu!

*siiiiigh*

Hi, I'm here again, good news.

Okay, so I sell out last June for updating for like 500 times last June, minus the two zeroes of course. It was an exhilarating month, but certainly most enjoyable. The gang's been stuck in McDonald's EVERYDAY, yea, you see it, EVERYDAY, and no, don't think we're all that rich to be hanging out in a fast food chain where the food costs either half our allowance or the whole or even higher, we just don't have anywhere to go to spend time together. We picked the cafeteria back then to study, and it worked out, though the situation of having college students now isn't helping anymore, so we migrated.((mind you, we did it only once..XP)) I'm so happy spending time with the rest of them..*sigh* I don't know what I am now if I weren't friends with them. Which reminds me, we went biking yesterday, it was so fun! Hahaha! We call it pedicade, literally because it was a pedicab and there were snakes, trees and the lake watching us! Haha! On one pedicab was Pangan, Yvette and Teresa, while the second one, in which Daniel fully paid for was occupied namely by him, ((duh)) Kim, Gennina and ME! Haha! Daniel drove at first, but when his feet got tired, I took over, and I was really GOOD! YEA! ((err..because I wasn't able to manage a single bikeXP))..Gennina next, and she kept barging us towards the lake! Hahaha! And then Kim, and Daniel and ME and Daniel again! OHOHOHO! I'm SO GOOD!

OK, fine, so you have every news about my barkada and my bespren...how bout Dea!? Oh, she looks cool on her new nurse uniform and some college people find her so pretty. She was once nominated as muse but didn't win, mainly because she threatened them not to. XP She visits the room whenever she gets the chance, and I'm perfectly okay with that. I had realizations and I know that I mustn't brush her away simply put that she deserves more than what I worth, so I am SORRY.T__T..So there, we miss her already, and we wish all the luck in the world!^^

So about Paola...T__T

I don't know what I am doing.

Eversince I told Laliz about..well, about how it's been difficult for me because we weren't able to spend any time together, and the doubts I had when I came into a realization that maybe I'm not anything worth her, and then how it kind of *ouched* me that...ARGH. How it hurts, how it really, really hurts...I don't want to admit this, mainly because I am such a stubborn little fool about ranking and chuchu..and ARGH...it's not like it's the biggest deal ever witnessed by Mr. World...but..b-but....it kind of hurts to know that the person you consider the most important person you've ever known, aside your family of course, doesn't think much of you like that...Okay, maybe only a part of it. Then I told Laliz that maybe she wasn't my bestfriend anymore...then I thought of the times when we tried keeping our relationship aside our differences and distances..and then I thought of how it was when she said she was goin' tuh leave...I realized the mark that I won't be much of a loss and there were a lot of people who understands her more than I do...who knows her more than I do..((oh gosh..I'm about to cry))...We may call each other bestfriends and you know how I am when it comes to names...and I always see my name on her cp which only named me as my plain name and nuthin' else and her name in mine had these weird asterisks and underscores and best ko! chuchu all over it, and it kind of made me jealous at first that there were people out there that...I CAN'T SAY IT! MAINLY BECAUSE IT'S WRONG! OH GOSH...I'M ACTING POSSESIVE! I don't own her, but this tendency of being jealous again..T_T..OY, I'M NOT LESBIAN, STUPID! Haha! I just miss her so much, and the test I've been putting on to see if I am worth something and if she does miss me tortures me. Maybe it affected her, seeing that I haven't contacted her for weeks or so... She doesn't care about rankings and all that crap, she tells me that she loves everyone...but no matter how we try to stop it, there'd always be people who are really important. Like she is to me, and like I am not to her. I don't want to talk about this because it would open a new problem, but I need to get it out. T___T I wanna cry. I just want her to know that I might be having mood swings..but it really hurts to know that I might be pushing myself to you..T__T...

Oh, problems.

from the dead..

*sigh* I think I've been dead for the past two days. I've been studying all night long for these two dumb subjects whom I consoled precious hours of sleeping to, and now I have managed to fail them. Gad. I don't want to think about it, but no matter how I run from it, it really, really bugs me. This is my first examination and I've managed to fail TWO subjects already. Darn.

But on the plus side, ((if we try not thinking about the minus side)), I feel really light as of now((again, completely ignoring the first paragraph))..light as a feather ((i'm a hundred times heavier than a feather, but come on..)). ((again,...*OH SHUT UP!* fine, fine)) You see here, I have finally put into action something that I've been telling all my friends a few centuries ago, which I have mastered a century after that which concerns about UNDERSTANDING my problem. I have to QUIT ranting about it, 'cause it won't get me anywhere, and I should be ACCEPTING the fact that the problem's already there, 'ayt? Besides, if I don't, then it'll get on much deeper and worse than I could ever imagine ((okay, you got me..it's all about the mushy stuff))...So, right now that I've been so open with myself, and had gotten out of the stupid clam of denial, even with my friends ((which right now are pretty irritated with me telling stories and all for nth times)) I think my liking onto him wasn't such a problem. It's just too normal, you know..so why do I have to stop doing it. I'd be demented right now if I refrained myself from doing it. OKAY!? SO I LIKE HIM, WHO CARES! Hahaha! I REALLY REALLY LIKE HIM, BUT NOT THAT MUCH... YOU KNOW WHY?! HE CUT HIS HAIR, FOR PETE'S SAKE! Hahaha! AND HE IDOLIZED ME AS MUCH AND GOT BRACES! Hahaha! GO GIRL! Hahahaha! YOU MADE THE WRONG DECISION, NOW I LIKE YOU LESS 4%!

Another thing that's been really uplifting me all these stupid times. You see, d'you remember the time when I asked Daniel first if he wanted to join our group then I asked him and told me that he would not be able to because Elena already asked him ((whoa, now I know why I'm a girl)) first and then I pouted then he told me, "Siya ang una mong tinanong, eh." Hahaha! Hilarious! It happened last Thursday, too, when I was ranting about hated Math and all that and then he told me, "Nandyan naman si Daniel, ano?". Ano konek?! Haha! Then I just got on ranting about how I didn't like him teaching me cause I was so dumb when it comes to Math and Daniel can understand me more rationally, and tha's it. hahaha! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? DON'T!

okay, hafta go, bro's bugging me again..curses!

I think it concerns me about deciding on choices I've been presented in life.

I am a sixteen-year old right now and before I think I've changed into a much better, decided person, and from what I have done last week, I have disproved myself.

There were two rainbows yesterday. Lolo called me out and me and my cousins jumped from the terrace. Up there in the blue, wet sky were two beautiful rainbows flattering the rest of the sky. It confused me then that the other one was bright and the other, on the top of which I have mentioned was kind of blurred.

So, the one blurred must be the wrong thing or choice to choose, but since it is on the top of the brighter one, I could quickly decide on picking it. And the bright one, which must have given me a better future and less consequence would regrettingly be the one I have failed to pick.

I wish decisions could be this easy to make. That the choices would have distinct differences and I would be able to pick them without even opening my eyes.

But decisions weren't blessed with seven pretty colors. Sometimes they all look black when all along, the blacker one was right and the grayish one would be wrong. Sometimes, the right thing to do just masks itself so it would give us darned pressure onto picking it. Sometimes, we know what the right thing is to do, but something would be pulling us away from it and would still commit the wrong one.

Decisions can be labeled as "right" or "wrong", but that goes to rich people, when they have to choose whether to buy a bargain or an imported one from Paris. No, I'm not overgeneralizing, I am simply putting up an example. Several choices would pop out, and eventually, we have to eliminate them one by one to arrive into the right one. Like an entrance exam. You have a total of five choices..it's up to you which to eliminate and which to circle. It's so easy to see which one is right...but ARRRRR...if I can just DO what it is.

I can't help it..it's this stupid conscience bugging me that I have to tell my mom about the trip, but I can't..arrrrgh..i hate it, really..I want to forget all about it. If this goes on until August, I'll tell my mother about it. GAWD.

Bye-bye rainbows.

i think i'm getting really psycho..

i just hate thinking, it makes me kind of..weird..

jesus, i was thinking of killing, or having split personalities and having to kill somebody unknowingly.

and now i am getting scared.

what if i grow up like that..

oh my..

all i know right now is that i won't ever ever read any suspense books..i get too engrossed that it is no more right..oh my god.

i need a psychologist for this kind of work, but i can't afford one..oh gooosh...

help!

i'm really scared..of myself..oh god.

I cannot say I actually am a confident kind of person. Oh, sure, it's not that I cannot face a crowd, or speak of my opinions or anything like that. I do not really know how to gather much confidence and well, bravery to accept and say "thank you" whenever I have been given a compliment. Much so, I would eventually shrug it off, or just snicker by chance. It's just that, having my kind of childhood who so often gathered too many confidence that bubbled my head with unbearable ego that made me realize that my atittude back then was really, really annoying. I can't blame kids back then who act like me. They look so annoying you just want to step on their faces and forget all about their cutesy pretty little heads.

Oh, so now, they say I insult them. I don't mean it, and they say they do understand that. So, I just did that by a much longer time, and then I've realized how insulting it must've been. You see here, we have this smart friend who'll always tell us that she had failed studying for this certain quiz and then eventually would gain the highest or possibly a higher and "passing" grade than the rest of barkada had obtained. It really looked so demeaning, eventhough we know that she was just trying to errr..comfort us or something like that or just get on with the same boat. But it looked like she abandoned us somewhat, so it was very not nice...yea, not nice.

So I placed myself in hers. I...I don't really think my drawing skills ain't that "WHOA, IS THAT FOR REAL!?" or something like that, but they say, compared to them, mine is just like that. I feel as if I don't deserve this nor even that. I don't think I even deserve everything I've got! I don't think I would ever deserve my honor stuff, my wonderful friends, my happy family and gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..

So, my resolution?!

I would have to just...say bravely and confidently, the "thank you" I owed my friends for years. I need that thank you to fill a quarter of my barely-hanging-there confidence I must've lost years ago when I resolved to be more humble to kick off my unbearable ego back when I'm in my childhood.

Two, I'll do everything just to make me rest assured that every blessing I obtain is in the right place and that I do deserve them. I'll try my best to be "deserving", said in a shorter way. These blessing are more than enough, and somehow I feel like He's showering me with it, and I'll make Him see, along with the rest of the world that I'll take care of it, and that I'll  be a deserving person of them.

Last Friday, when I was eating my breakfast or dinner or whatever that I was doing, I saw my translucent reflection staring back at me. It was me, and a realization stroke at my head saying that I need to know myself better and be thankful that I am me. No one could ever be me, except for me. So who would love me if I won't love myself? Who would give me compliments if I don't give one myself? I am Xerez and I am up to the test of making myself feel special and unique. ^^

So there, i felt so happy, yadda yadda..

aye, to tell you the truth, i am DEAD TIRED. I am afraid i am suffering the once-again missed STRESS. Last night, which was Friday, my eyelids were drooping like crazy and i cannot seem to manage to talk normally with my cousins. I came from our "general" cleaning this morning and we were only FOUR at the time washing those stupid moth-eaten windows and we were FIVE then while doing the dumb floor and moving the dumb chairs...my back feels as heavy as it is. The first week was perfectly under the EXHILARATING category, but it simply was fun...remembering that i lose my head every now and then laughing. Geez. I think I'm having another nut's disease. I kept on laughing like there wouldn't be any tomorrow at all! And d'you know why I find it so amusing!? It's because I've changed! I am ACTUALLY laughing with my heart! It's as if I have never laughed like this ever before! It sounds so true, and mind you, it's coming from ME! I am so happy, and I haven't the faintest idea why!^^

News about the "Guy"...well, my cousins kept on dragging him on me, which doesn't please me at all, and he was planning on courting me which I am planning to turn down, which I am as decided as a monkey swinging. We get to get near, but I don't talk to him too much, probably because if I will, my cousins will sceam like MAD. And I don't care anymore. Forget what I wrote, okay? I've seen him in a nearer distance and well, it displeased me. Hahahaha!

MMMM...A lot has happened to my friends too, including stuff about this friend who broke up with this jerk and another jerk, which I have forced myself to smile at him at our last meeting broke up with my friend, which was supposedly the day of their monthsary and a day before her birthday. IDIOTS just keep on flying everywhere. Well, my kinakapatid isn't talking to my other friend and i don't know already who's who I am talking about. The rest of us, I guess we look sane..I mean, okay. I was getting in touch with my kapated a while ago, and I missed him sooo much!^^ I missed the way he was calling me "ate" and I am so happy that a gentleman like he is treats me as an older sis!^^ I'm proud! And my pare, well, my friend broke up with him and he was determined to get her back, dead determined, I tell you.

Teachers are still fine, and I do hope that goes on for ten months. TECI isn't going on really well, contradicting to the former, because, I don't know...I guess this IS the first June and I don't think we can manage having TECI in August when we'll be having UPCAT. And well, we also want to learn. XP

mmmm...what else to talk about...Haha! There was an incident that Dong bumped into the chair and I just noticed how I love the bao hair again. I missed that BAO! Hahaha! He was smiling like he always does, and I first noticed the eyes the stupid fortune teller told me once. Go figure. I was ranting about it inside the bathroom, arguing again and again and then finally decided that it was pretty shallow and determined as well NOT to deepen it. I told Lalize about it and then later on to the whole gang. They were laughing like mad, but I wus really up to opening up!^^ I just found my bespren really cute for the first time! Nya! Nikka and I were talking about that and the conversation became serious that I began to talk serious as well. Well, it's not that I really care if our situation in the classroom is waving and smiling at each other if needed and saying "babay" if each of us is going home or anything, but I just want to talk. Like normal bestfriends do!? XP I told her that if I was to fall really really hard and get heartbroken like I am not about to live for the next minute, it wouldn't be so bad if it'll be all because of him instead of any other guy. And no, I am not planning to do anything. He doesn't like me, it shows. And I know. We've been together for about four years and I know what I am seeing and what I am not. I just know..^^

Anyway, that is all for the first week of the dreaded school year 2006-2007

THE 4A1-NUCLEON SHALL PROVIDE HIGH QUALITY ANNOYANCE AND IRRITATION FOR THEIR RESPECTIVE TEACHERS THROUGHOUT THEIR LAST SENIOR YEAR.

okay, fine, so there...

i don't understand anything...anything...

i just bursted everything to my cousins and my bestfriend..and i still do not know!

sheeshh..

okay, so there, the rain came down and me and my cousins bathed and played there, and i don't know, i wanted to see him and i also wanted him to see me and stuff like that...

we bathed all together, ((monique, vea and camille)) and we talked a lot of things inside the bathroom. it was very very odd...arrrr..suddenly, vea's interrogations made me think a lot. oh for pete's sake. why did i hafta open the dumb topic. i have always wanted to open a topic about him, i did that with jolo every time i get the chance. gadangnabit. jesus, i'm getting stupid!!!!!!!

I DON'T KNOOOOOW!

fine, i admit, the reason why i always go out is to see him..besides spending time with my cousins..

just to do that insanely weiiiird thing!

gaaaaadddddddd...T__T

ohhhhhhhhh...i wanna cryyyy..

i don't know, okay!?

I'M TELLING THE TRUTH, I DON'T KNOW.

for an insanely weird reason, i want us to look at each other again...

you see, he told my cousin that i was cute and that he was crushing on me...

his friends call him nene...

SHUCKS!

eat me aliiiiive...

Remember the insanely weird guy I was talking about from my previous entry!? I've just got every proof tha' he's weird...

If

he isn't from my baranggay,

he doesn't SMOKE, tha's the biggest NO-NO,

he isn't a hiphop lover,

he wasn't that ermm..straightforward,

he wouldn't look at me every time I try passing by,

he wasn't that uhh...dark?! XP or tanned! yea, tanned!

his eyes weren't that big,

he wasn't a Visayan ((my cousin told me he was, I dunno if he was joking))

he wasn't always staring at me like stupid,

he wouldn't call me NENE! Hahaha!

he wouldn't claim to court me and isn't doing anything,

he wouldn't look that stupid,

Well, I would've liked him....

but the thing is, IF'S don't happen..

so i don't like him!

My cousins and I were playing like escaped hyenas last night and we were really going mad. I started out a beauty pageant somewhat and they appeared out of nowhere. I was speaking in English in british accent and all that and I was about to ask Jam when he neared our group ((there were two groups on the streets, by the way)) and was looking at us beside Jolo. Jude kept tugging me like mad and I didn't really care and continued asking Jam. She told him, "Bawal dito ang ibang tao," Hahah! Nice one, cuz! ^^ But the thing is, he seemed to be that stupid not to understand, because he just remained standing there. I pretended not to know what was wrong and who she was mentioning so as not to look like I was aware that he was there. It was an accident again, when we caught each other's eyes and I quickly turned away as if trying to make an impression that I simply turned my head that way to see what was wrong. It was so stupid, the way that happens, I hate it.

Jolo also told me Aki wus crushing on me too, my cousin likes him and all that, and I don't think I'll believe Jolo on that one. He told me that, and my brother told me not to believe him but he insisted. He told us that it was because it was the only time I always get to go out from the house...Screw...haha! But this is the most ENJOYABLE summer ever. From April to this day. This is the first summer that I had never looked forward to going to school. Even if my reason was to seeing my friends again. I like spending the day with my cousins. YEA! Geez..I really sound so immature. Tha's summer with my cousins..XP, Tatay, Daniel Radcliffe, and yea, we discovered another cutie, Rikimaru Lee! Teehee!

^^ It's so happy really. IT ROCKS! OH IT SO MUCH ROCKS! Well, I don't think I'll be able to spend that much time during the school year, because, really..UPCAT?! Screw the stupid UPCAT for pressuring me! DAMN!

So there! Tha's my summer! So HAPPY!

I am now spending the last summer Monday....geez..I DON'T WANT SCHOOL! GADANGNABIT!

Okay..

*calms herself*

Bye-bye..

Ahaha... After 3 weeks of this "feeling" I am talking about, I have managed to grip onto my sanity and TRY typing this "ugh" entry.

See here, ever since my 5th or sixth or whatever "libot" I wus showing my cousins my fanfictions  and Vea called me out and told me that maybe that guy wearing the ugly yellow jersey wus crushing on me because he kept looking at me. Boys from my baranggay weren't exactly my type, so I shrugged it off and played a little joke telling my cousins about my crush on this certain person and all that stuff and purposely made him hear all about it.

It was fun doing it, really.

There's this time when a huge storm got into our place and falling raindrops were deafening we rarely heard each other. There was lightning back then. Then I saw a back on our porch and it seemed like it was bathing, so I ignored him, but my brother tugged me and had gone, "uuy". I didn't get him anyway. When it stopped, my cousins got out lolo's house and told me he was serenading me. He's an idiot. Who could've heard him!?

It was the same day too, when we got my aunt's laundry off because of the rain. We were laughing like mad, because my other aunt was screaming like heck. Then I saw him walking like stupid because there was lightning and all that, and we caught each other's eyes, it was an accident, and I didn't want to give him the impression that I was looking at him or anything. I simply stood staring at the direction from where he's at and pretended I was looking at the tree behind him.

Fiesta it was back then and my cousins were all going nuts when I tried speaking like an old Visayan slash british person. It was so funny. Then my aunt came into the picture and asked whether or not is someone courting me. I simply told no but then my moronic cousins bursted like mad and told her that there was someone. I asked who and when they told me I was laughing my butt off. They told me that he was supposed to give me three roses then and he wasn't able to. Hahaha!

Today, we had this libot again called "tapusan" and Mum forced me to be one of my cousins to go parading in my stupid humongous JS gown from our subdivision to the entrance of the baranggay and stuff. I was extremely relieved to reach back home and was laughing my ass off. My cousin told me someone was looking at me. Jesus, with this huge gown, who wouldn't!?So there, it was still hilarious.

A few hours ago, there was this party and then people came dancing and all that. I was having fun watching and my cousin just told me not to look up at her side because someone was staring at me. I asked who and she told me it was that Michael guy.

I didn't care, really. But I was kind of new to this. Being crushed by someone was something big, since this is the first..okay, second time to ever happen to me. The first was nothing really...I didn't know it until he gave me roses and shot me a look which seemed to portray that he was freakingly afraid of doing that and it gave me an impression that he...he took me for a monster or something like that. Well, he wasn't that attractive. And neither is the other one, though the second seemed to be much preferrable. The only question is, why do both of them have to be that...maitim! HAHAHA! Hilarious! The second one's much whiter, but still...I sound like my sixth-grade self..sheesh.

So there, I actually enjoyed the attention. It was fun, being stared at, for the very first time, and someone actually thought you were pretty. I don't get that much often, you know, so please don't blame me if I sound...stupid. Yea, stupid. I kept coming back and forth to the street just to see if he was there and I don't know. I like him to see me smiling and stuff. I ADMIT, I sound stupid, and NO, I don't like him back. It just feels very funny to be crushed on.

For the very first time, there was someone who actually crushed on me. I'll remember HIM for that.^^

first of all, my family!

tatay

nanay

hiram

ate zara

kuya jay

kuya kim

kuya dan

ate jen

ian

ate kat

yzabel^^

my relatives!

my cousineers from my mum((kaberks!)) and dad's side!

my wholesome tito's and tita's from both sides!

my LOLO!^^

my lolo's and lola's from my grandmum's side!

my friends!

pita

escent

mouya

maiko

paola

rizet

karen

ferlyn

juan

janella

dea

aidelle

ynah

neka

lek

kim

gianna

jennie

yvette

clarize

paulo

genz

yen

mayen

angel

tyra

jl

lala

nikka

teresa

arvie

myka

paulene

prince

dong

daniel

karlo

phoebe

sis and bro's!

ate mharra

ate sheryl

sis mildred

mafe

bebz

trina

jao

shane

nichole

cha

francis

eman

jiankalaw

romy

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAE too! It's also her birthday today!

YAYYYY!!! thank you everyone for making this birthday the best! I had my first birthday cake after nine years! yatta!

I am quite surprised to see that people can say sooooooo much about love. Well, not actually. Since almost half the class is having boyfriends and girlfriends and stuff like that and they post in their pages that they're married and all that..come on, seriously, you wanna be married?

I'm even older than they are, for pete's sake. and they post these stuff on their blogs like, love isn't blind and stuff like that and seriously, I don't understand anything.

Who am I to talk like this?! Yea, i admit i've talked a lot o' crap back then, but i never discussed love like it's some deep pit i am about to fall to. And besides, if I really, really felt love, well..i would know! I just got stupidly infatuated, tha's it...okay, this is only one sensible thing I am about to say about this love thingy,

IT'S SO WEIRD IT LASTS FOREVER.

Come on, who would want to be with this guy who looks like a wrinkle who grew a man?! I mean, come on, don't they get tired loving?! Jesus! My mum and dad lasted for like 19-20 together and sheesh! i am crushing on this certain guy for three years or so and i am dead tired! And yea, imagine that they last for like, YEARS, DECADES doing it! And imagine how they are able to be sane after typing those "bebe" "labvxuxuxuxu" and stuff like that on the web! HEAVEN'S NAME! Why am I so stupid!?

I don't know! How they post their pictures here and there and stuff like that! How they shout the world that they're boyfriends and girlfriends! Aren't they a bit...well..embarassed?!

My bestfriend had a boyfriend, but sheesh, she never did that, and i couldn't imagine if she did!

Yea, it's normal...

but i am taking Pita's side in this one...

people fall in love, but there's a matter of time when they start standing up.

okay, le's make an exception of older married people. kids might blame me on why their parents divorced.

TEENAGE LOVE!

I don't understand anything.

pooh, you tell me about dong and how i like him so much!? duds, he is my bestfriend, what's not to like?! well, 'cept that he forgot my birthday. thanks for that. i hope earth eats him alive. and come off it, i know when i am in love and when i am not. I KNOW WHAT I FEEL. and you don't have any tink of a right to tell me how i feel.

love means like forever, that is all i know and tha's all i will ever know.

bwahaha!

i am such an immature freak. and don't come and go tell me stuff like, oh, love means like this and stuff like that. it's perfectly alright to tell me your opinion, but i am not really entirely convinced..you know how it is...^^