To know things as they are is better than to believe things as they seem.
- Tom Wicker

There have been countless times I took for granted what my eyes wanted to see... what my heart wanted to feel... what my mind wanted to believe.  As I matured, or what I thought was maturing, I began to realize that things weren't always what they seemed to be.  It was then I took my self-deception to a higher level.  What I've come to understand in my Christian walk, is that self-deception, is just lying to myself.  Compromising, letting thigs 'slip' by, foul language, pornography (this is a particularly sneaky one... in the fact that you tell yourself 'if I'm just satisfying myself, who could it hurt?'), cheating on a test, lustful thoughts about a woman who is not my wife... is the road that still leads to 'non-reality'.  How many of us have run to the 'safe' haven of lies to ease the pain of reality and the responsibilities it brings.  I would medicate myself with drugs, sex, money, self-importance... pretty much anything else that's been tried, I've done it.  But always in the morning... sober, alone, broke, and self-disgusted... reality and those responsibilities and those real feelings about them would still be there... present and accounted for.  There have been many individuals who have been instrumental in my healing and Christian maturity... too many to name here, you know who you are and my thanks and life are yours.  I tell these things to be as transparent as possible... if you can see right through me without lies corrupting the vision... then I'm on the road to real maturity at last... thanks for letting me share.  p.h.

Let us journey on...