I hate hate hate

for you to feign interest

for me

while

you wait wait wait

for it to be ok

for you

to hide hide hide

into sleep

into submission

cuz

you never lie lie lie

its only me who

confronts admission

But that's not why why why

We torture ourselves into

the comfortable

life

life

life

It never ends until you face it.

Do you feel your knees starting to give?

It must be so cold where you live,

Yeah, way up there on top.

I wanna look into your eyes

As you flood this place with lies

Just to sensationalize

Getting the 'bad guys'

You've been wearing stupid as your guise.

And all the while,

You can still smile.

But one day the world's gonna give you the pink slip,

And put an end to this fucking dictatorship.

abhorred the way I kept my breaking heart hidden from your eyes, I watched as you layed your head in her arms, and  your heart

purred the way a kitten purrs when it feels so safe.  Oh so

ugly when you'd lift me up to spin me, but only because she was

near-otherwise you

couldn't care less

hating myself, but hating you more

i kept it all from you, you seemed

not to notice anyway...

troubled waters never seemed too far away...

holding on to what little I still had of you-

eclipsing the love right out of our lives, we'd never

grown so far apart,

unhappy just doesn't cut it, and I'm

tired.

listening to my love's glissandos,

watching kitty try to wear my clothes,

dancing with the trees that blow,

making different colored snow.

cooking food for more than one,

and readying my body for the sun,

of course there's nothing better, than getting letters,

except for maybe water-guns.

people watching in the streets,

using chopsticks when I eat,

finding a clean toilet seat,

thick brown mud and naked feet,

YEP.

I like the color of my blood the first three days I bleed,

A really true and honest red tells me I must heed,

The hunches and gut feelings that come from deep down in,

A silly girls' intuition I finally will concede.

"Hey!  It's Lee Youngberg!"

I run and jump onto him and give him a huge hug.

"I had a dream about you, I didn't think I'd ever see you again!"

"I'm here, I'm back."

I touched something hard jutting from the back of his shoulder.

"Oh, that's from the war.  Something blew up and that stuck inside of me.  It doesn't hurt though."

"Wow, I'm so glad to see you Lee.  Remember when you would tease us in Home-ec?  You always knew!"

"Oh yeah, are you still gonna get mad if I call you 'babe'?"

There's a pile of shit in front of my face.

But I can't smell it, not even a trace.

It's just sittin' there, doin' nothin'

And I'm right here, doin' nothin'

I can hear my kitty meow inside

And the rain drops with the sidewalk collide.

quiet......a clouded laugh-

the smell of burning plastic

where is it coming from?

a walking cough

non-stop gentle flow of a life source

coffee warm in my belly

all noise is soft

a car's far off foot steps

not so busy

wind chimes tickle the quiet air

soft lights

a baby cries

soft winter night