A guy was walking around the office santa party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled existence out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket.
Finally, a friend came up to him and said: "George, I've been calorie counting you all night, and I have to ask what's in your shirt pocket?"
"It's a picture of my wife."
"Why do you keep looking at it?"
"Because," George replied: "When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home!"