All men are idiots, and I married their King.

 Learn from your parents' mistakes -- use birth control.

 Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

 Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

 If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
 Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

 Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

 It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

 We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. 
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

 Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. 
Keep honking...I'm reloading....