I found out both of my grandfathers are/were in the hospital with heart attacks. No one bothered to give me a call until days after all of this had went down. And then I found out that the very first love of my life is dying...I mean like he has days left. He has skin cancer that they couldn't heal. My sister is going to see him but didn't think it was important enough to tell me or ask me if I want to go. I mean that is just about the craziest thing I have ever heard of in my life. I want to see him too. I want to tell him I was more in love with him than I had ever been before or since him. I want him to know it was the best (or pretty close to the best) time of my life when we were together. I was ust young and stupid and didn't know that the best thing to do was hold on. I think it may be better in a way if I don't see him but will I be able to forgive myself if I don't go? I am never sure. I just want someone somewhere to tell him I always loved him. I just was scared he would love me too...(Do you see the pattern of my life)
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