11/3/2006
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My apology
| I feel the need to apologize to people...not at large but specifically. I am not good at the talking thing at times, though most of you can't tell. I do most talking like I do most things in my life, faking my way through it and praying it comes out right in the end. If it doesn't, then I can always resort back to "I'm a fuck-up. What did ya expect?" The people who really know me know that isn't true but it is a damn good excuse when you do tend to mess shit up A LOT!!! But when I want to say things right, I will write it. So here is goes...no faking. I am really sorry I tend to cause issues. I didn't mean for the things to happen that have happened so far. I keep thinking to myself that things were not meant to end up the way they did, but they did for right now. I know you feel like I am little crazy and a lot stupid. Thank you for not pointing it out so directly. I don't know if that is because you know I am beating myself up worse than you could or if it is because you don't feel the need to, but I will take it either way. (And trust me... I am kicking my own ass so bad right now) I apologize for the fact I let it happen. I know you saw it was going to before I knew it was gonna but you didn't try to smack the hell up outta me (which we both knows is what should have happened) I know in your head you are saying "Dumbass girl" but as of yet you haven't said it out loud so I am thankful for that. I assure you I will fix things to make it best for everyone though it may not make them all happy. I respect your opinion above all others. I know you have never steered me wrong before. Good watching out. I feel like I have lost all of your... well I am at a loss for the word... respecr for lack of a better word. Like you are thinking I should know better and I should be better at life. Even if you haven't I feel like you have. I am sorry for the headaches, heartaches and the bullshit I have caused in the last few years. |
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