5/7/2007
-
Here it is... need some advice
Here is what I promise to do: I will not read your stuff if you promise that you will keep it real with me. I will not make you jealous if you promise to not make me jealous. I will not send you e-mails because you never send shit back to me. I will not be mad at you talking to her if you always talk about appropriate things. I will not be a person to yell or get upset anymore because it only leads to me getting hurt. You are right. You will never be the person I want you to be. You will never go back to being the person I know you were. You will never love me how I need. You will never talk to me openly again. You will never be the right person. That isn't for just me. It goes for Nadine too. She will believe in you for a month and then you will go right back to being the same man you were for all those years she couldn't stand you. On top of that even if you did go back, you two would never get back to the point of being in love because too many things have come to pass between the both of you. She may act like she forgives you but in every fight it will be thrown in your face that you were with me for a year. It will be thrown at you that you were the one that walked out and didn't make your family important enough. And I mean honestly... will you ever be able to get past the fact that she took the first year of your daughter's life away and gave it to some other man? Will you ever get past the fact that she was always sleeping around? Will you ever be able to trust her? Will you feel loved and understood when you need to work on your music and she says things like "They all sound the same?" Will she do or be all the things that you want her to be when you know you could have (and have had) better? Is it ok with you to throw people away for the chance to make them things with her better? And know they won't be? So, yes, I know you will never be what I need. But I am hoping that now that we changed we can change into the people the other one loves. I have become what you don't want like you became what I can't stand. But I am willing to attemp and try and adjust until we fit together right again. If it means enough for you then I suggest you try too. If it means more to stay this way and give it up, then say that to. I won't be mad. It is pointless to have anger when better things can come through. I just need to know that I am going to be the one you are with for as long as we are happy, not just the one you are with until something better coems along or she changes. I need to know this means as much to you as it does to me. Travis, more than anything I want to believe you. I want to hold you and touch you and be the biggest part of you. But if that isn't made for me or you can't do it for me, please let go of me so I can find real happiness with someone who can. I have earned that much from you. I have given you that much. I will and am the one who has always wanted the best for you, but I can't see what is good for you through the lies. Goddamn this is so pointless. I know you might read part of this but you won't even attemp to discuss it or make me know anything so what am I doing so much of this for? All I want to say is do it right!!! Without thought to who or what or how it happens, worry about you and do it right. The right thing for me is for you to become happy again. The right thing for you hasn't shown itself to me but I wish you would tell me in order to make it happen. One last thing. The reason you are jealous of me is because of the things that you do to make me jealous. You never got jealous until you started pulling these stunts. So if you want to go back to not having to worry don't give me a reason to worry. What you do comes back on you is exactly what is happening right now. But just so you know, I have not cheated on anyone and as much as I love you, I know it won't start with you. So don't trip on it. Other people are showing me the attention you are neglecting to give me. I imagine that is what she does for you. Yours is an affair because anything that involves emotions is an affair. Mine is just attention and those people are disposable. Please get it out of your system soon because this is the only one you get of lying and sneaking. Be for real or be gone. |
| Post A Comment! :: Send to a Friend! |
Share and enjoy
