24 November 2008 - hecticism
Just had a mini deep and meeningful with upstairs (current interest). He started telling me about how he doesn't know if he's happy with his life and his current situation with his gf. As much as I am "interested" I didn't let my feelings bias what I said tto him, I was good. Then we started talking about death and what to do if my brother in law doesn't make it. It made me sad. He started talking about people he knew who had died and I almost cried a few times.
It was good to just be serious with someone about just things. Things that don't invlove whether I will pass exams, what is actually going on with the global financial crisis and pretending to understand current politics. It was just good normal stuff.
I'd never really had a serious convo with him and he said so when I saw him tonight "are you ever serious". He wasn't being mean or anything but sort of trying to state a fact because we joke about everything.
I really want him to feel better he looks like he has a few things on his mind.
Then my ex boyfriend (who lives next door to me) rings me to ask if I can pick him and his friends up. We are friends now (even if it is very awkards at times, only because he is still into me) but I don't think I'm going to start taxiing just yet. I'm sure he is interested in someone at the moment. Which is weird for me, because I don't actually want him, but I don't exactly want anyone else to have him either. It is weird and very human of me. By human i mean annoying.
I'm so tired. I have to wake up in 5 hours to start my 5 hours of spanish study. Right now I couldn't give a fuck if I failed. Everything is wayyyy too hectic.
So:
- upstairs is feeling down
- ex boyfriend is moving on
- I will fail spanish
- I still don't actually understand the global financial crisis
- and my brother is having major surgery and I'm trying to block it out. Which may be a bad thing.
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