18 January 2009 - I'm back!
My holiday was amazing, thank you, and I had the time of my life. I spent most of my time hanging with my little sister and laughing a whole lot. Seriously, my first few days I practically lived with hiccups. It was amazing. Rejuvinating. Enlightening. Eveything. But now I am back and all moved into my place again and ready to start university tomorrow. Semester 4 here we come.. I decided to go with that photography course. Dad was stoked when I told him and he actually went out and bought me a camera. A Canon 400D. It's beautiful and probably one of my favourite things in the whole world. I havew suddenly seen everything is beautiful and have started taking shots. Maybe one day I'll put them up.
Living with Lia is good. Living with, because although she lives nextdoor, she is always over. Which is great but may annoy me in the future. I love her to absolute death and would do anything for her, but I'm a bit of a home bum and enjoy space.haha.
When I got back I spoke to nextdoor (who is now to be known as "xman". haha, it was funny to me) and told him that him and I are totally out the window. I said that "I still love you a lot" and he replied with "I'll love you forever". He cried and since then has been calling me every day convincing me I've made a mistake. Last I checked, breaking up with cheating, abusive boyfriends is never a mistake.
Mr. Diplomat gave it a shot 2 nights ago. I was drunk and rang him from the casino asking for a lift home (tip: when drunk never call boys who you arent interested in but are interested in you). He bought me maccas, gave me more alcohol and took me to our highschool field. It was like 12am and if I didnt have my coggles on (Casino goggles), I would have never condoned to any of it. As it was, I was there with him drinking beer. He was getting very agitated and kept brushing his hand on mine so I came up with the brilliant plan of "spoke to xman yesterday". He replied with a very shocked "oh" and I said ,"Yeah, told him I didnt want to be in a relationship with anyone". Bingo. Stopped him right there. Well not really because he did a whole "but ive been alone for a whole year" and "but I thought I had a chance" and "but not all boys are like him" and (wait for this, this is the most magical bit) "does this mean we can't make out?". Uhh, at least it gave me a way to say no. Then I said I needed to pee and walking back he held my hand, which was annoying because he doesn't do a very good job. His hand is all clammy and awkward and just doesn't cradle my hand very well. And he didnt get it when I kept pulling it out of his grasp. Anyway, we came back to mine and he came in and sat around with me for a bit before leaving with a nice hug from me. I think I handled it pretty well. True, he couldve killed me on the field or something but hey. It's kinda over now.
Mr. Band (who now works at the Casino) has been ringing me wanting to catch up and upstairs (now known as Matt, because 5-minutes-away is too hard to type) doesn't understand why. Speaking of which, I hung out with matt last night and oh my god. The time I've spent apart from him may have just made me like him even more. Like I never really noticed that he sometimes does this little crooked smile, which I literally have to look away from because it is that amazing. And when he finds something unexpectedly funny, his face lights up and his eyes crinkle slightly and his face, which was previously attentive, suddenly has this smile that makes me smile back to, it is that addictive. I never noticed how cute his laugh actually was, how it actually makes me want to be a stand up comedian so I can keep seeing it and hearing it. When he isnt smiling, when he just looks over at me, I feel like I could just give up everything I have for him to keep looking at me. Even for him to just keep looking at me.
Okay then, that's all I have for the time being.
