26 January 2009 - Mirage
It may seem like my life revolves around boys. In truth, my life otherwise is very boring. University has only reached the end of the first week and the most exciting thing that happened was me missing 1 class and the second hand booksale. Lia and I spend our days watching fake movies from bali, attentively imerse ourselves into the lives of those on gossip girl and talkabout the dudes we like who happen to be in a relationships. I am so off matt that I dont even want to write about him but hey, since it is the only issue that holds any interest to it, here I go.
Last night I went over to his and bandsie came over with some pot. Ive done pot maybe twice before and it has never really done anything for me, but last night, I was thinking some weird stuff. I felt like I could see everything suddenly. Matt was annoying and highly unnatractive, bandsie was a liar and very rude, roomie (who is matts roomate) was like some highly intelligent dude and tony (the dude bandsie brought) was some silent guy who was like having secret facial convos with bandsie. It was weird, and I freaked out because all of a sudden I was no longer attracted to matt. At all. His voice annoyed me so bad and I hated it. So I wanted to leave full time. I ended up walking home and woke up really late. But I dont understand. Surely it wasnt the pot? Like I was awake, like its not like when I get drunk, I could see myself. But my brain was thinking some weird shit. Am I really no longer attracted to him?? I haven't seen him today and although I tried to get him to have lunch with me, he declined. I'm freaking out so much it's scary. What on earth happened???
Then I found out that his gf is coming up to visit him for 4 days, which means I won't see him for those four days. Which is also annoying me. To make matters worse, she came online and suddenly started talking to me and told me that she is coming up again for his birthday next month, as a surprise. Yay. Don't know why she felt the need to tell me beacuse if I could I would book out all flights that week. hahaa.
Uhh, I need to stop liking him. But I can't. At least I think I can't unless I actually have stopped liking him.
I told Diplomat to get lost the other day. Which wasnt pretty. I went to a party and turned down his offer of coming with me, but he showed up anyway. SO I told him I was over it and I didnt want to talk to him. Now, Tony (bandsies mate), as it turns out, is actually friends with Diplomat too. So when he was over at Matts, he told me that the night I told Diplomat to leave me alone, Tony drove him all the way to where I live, came onto my floor somehow and banged on my door for me to come out and see Diplomat who was crying. Unfortunately I was at matts... But small world hey?
Sigh. My mopther may be coming to visit us (being the family here) next month. So I am actually very stoked and excited about that. I miss her so much at times, it's strange because we don't get along 100%. But she's still my mother and I love her to bits.
Anyway.
