31 January 2009 - Youre like an indian summer in the middle of winter
Sigh. I'm a wreck. I went to 2 classes all week and didn't hand in one of my assignments. I don't even understand why I've let myself get this far. I want to see him again. Fuck. I want to know he isn't lost, that all isn't lost, that I still mean something to him. That I am still his friend. I don't know what to do as I refuse to contact him first, but I doubt he will do first.
Maybe I should just be with diplomat, he is actually a very decent guy. he wouldn't fuck me over. I was with him the other night and he's actually pretty cool. Not my type (ha. all of a sudden I have a type) but very nice. Sure, he isn't who I want and maybe he isn't matt at all. But, "comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection". Sigh. Nice is boring, Lia said to me. But who said boring was bad... boring is reliable, boring is loyal, boring is trouble free... I'd be doing a good dead?
Lia and I finally finished Gossip Girl, season 1. We are very very excited for season 2. haha, we have truly gotten hooked onto it. Personally I was attatched to dan from the start, but he got very annoying and self riteous. And surprisingly Chuck got very hot.haha..
I have work tomorrow, another 5 hours of standing and pretending to be interested in the daily chatter of customers. I had one lady argue the total on the screen saying the computer was wrong. sigh. (whoa what is that, sigh number 3??). After is my older sisters birthday party for friends. I am sooo broke, so I may have to ask lia for that money she owes me. PLUS, I still need to pay my car insurance, I got a text from them yesterday about how mine has expired, useful but maybe a little creepy? haha..
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
Nighty night...
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