Another long week, down the drain.  As was most of my hair.  OCD kicking back in.  Trying to keep my sanity while being fake friendly to the insurance challenged.  I am challenged.

Guess my coworkers want to go out next weekend, even though Sis is watching O tonight.  Missy wants to get together, but now the weather is against us.  Nothing working in my favor.  The odds are against me.  I am challenged.

Made lasagna for dinner - 2 pans worth. Will find some room in the freezer, somehow, for one pan's worth in tupperware.  Too much food, nothing to eat.  Challenged.

Then, I'll recap my morning.  In odd orders of though, this post will be challenging to piece together.  I had my psych appointment follow-up with Dr. Patel at EFP.  My blood pressure was 154/82.  Higher than normal since I've come to see him in October.  He thinks it's due to the 100 mg of Zoloft I'm supposedly taking.  I haven't taken it in 2 weeks, keep forgetting.  I am challenged to keep my memory, keep my schedule, keep sane, keep in check of my life and my daughters.  The odds are against me.

I was also told at my checkup, that my heart murmur was back.  The nurses exact words, "I thought I heard a couple extra beats in there," but I'm not showing any of the other serious symptoms of my condition so they are less worried about it.  Although my blood pressure is elevated.  No BP meds yet.  Did not down my Zoloft below 100 yet.  Maybe, just maybe, like my health... the odds are against me.  Then, I go to Dunkin Donuts and get a dozen along with a French Vanilla Coolata.  Yum!

I've got to start taking care of my health, but I have to start caring about me first.  I care about my daughter.  I care about a lot of other things, but I can't seem to give a damn about myself.  I know that if I don't start taking care of me, my daughter may not have me for much longer.  I've been threatened so many times by doctors for not living a healthy lifestyle when I've got a heart murmur.  But my murmur was cured about 3 years ago (after losing Xavier it disappeared)... now, all of a sudden it is back.  The odds are against me.  I am challenged.

Did I mention how much I love my Olivia?  If I haven't in a while, I appologize.  She is the best thing in my life and my reason for living.  Sometimes I wonder how in hell I survived without her.

I forgot to mention about SamsungParts.com.  I did get the battery and charger on Thursday after Christmas.  And they did charge my card even though they said my CC declined.  What a bunch of bullcrap.  I haven't challenged them yet.  Too tired to fight.  I lost all my charge, all my will... I gave up.  The odds are against me.