Well, I was suppose to take my birthcontrol out on Sunday.  Didn't realize that until Wednesday.

- Been over stressed about my other health conditions (i.e. the eyes, possible systemic health conditions, high BP, depression)

- Been stressed at work (actually job searching again too)

- Been stressed at home (feeling like I'm the only one contributing to an organized and sanitary living condition).

- Been stressed because I don't know how else to be.

I need a break.  I need a breather.  I've just recently returned to work full time and I need a vacation. 

Everyone around me seems nosy.  Or maybe I just stopped caring how the world outside my front door reacts and feels.  Everyone around me seems annoying.  Or maybe I just don't have the patience to keep explaining myself to everyone.

Am I growing more and more apathetic?

I don't believe that I can solve all of my problems by winning to lottery, so I stopped trying.  I believe that the love and support I give my daughter may eventually be worthless with one bad decision in the future, but I keep doing it anyway.  I haven't lost hope.  I haven't lost my pride.  I just think I've lost a lot of my fight lately.  Feeling a bit defeated by the illness I seem to tackle daily.  By my health, by my dying spirit... by my self.