Wel, as I had mentioned, I wanted to recap my anger last weekend.

Olivia is in her swing, awaiting her afternoon nap, so here goes.

No guts, no glory.

Mother came to visit last weekend. Drove 10 hours to go another 4 & 1/2 to Atlantic City. I wasn't planning on seeing her, as she had only come up to visit with her friends. Should have known that when she called me Saturday to set up a time to see Olivia on Sunday it was going to be a bust.

She knows I work on Sundays. I forwarned her that on Sunday Jim had to leave early w/ Olivia to meet his dad. They were driving up to see his Grandma in Bainbridge, a bit of a drive from Binghamton. Not as far of a trip as my Mother having to return to NC, but far enough with a child to know he had to leave a designated time.

She was going to call me/Jim at 7 or 7:30 AM to schedule to meet at my Grandma's house, a few blocks away from both Jim's Dad's house and our apt. We were up at 6:30, and I had Olivia all set by 7. 8:30 rolls around and my Mother calls. Jim's ready to walk out the door.

NO we couldn't meet her, sorry you were delayed because you were talking with your friend who you've decided to stay with while in town instead of your daughter. Sorry you couldn't prioritize better to see your granddaughter, not like you saw your other grandchildren while you were up here. Sorry we can't accommodate your schedule when we have other things we need to do.

I did not let Mother see Olivia this time. It wasn't my responsiblity to accommodate her schedule. I had enough going on and I was ready at the already pre-designated time. It was her fault for being late. It's a good thing Olivia doesn't know enough to 'expect' to want to see her Grandma Emily when she's in town. It's a good thing she does not feel disappointment yet.

I feel it enuogh for the both of us.

Did I mention what Jim's Dad and Darlene (his dad's girlfriend) got us for Easter?  They had taken home studio Easter/Spring pictures while they watch Olivia on one Sunday and surpised Jim and I with an easter basket w/ candy and photos of Olivia in the homemade photography studio! I'll have to take the pictures and scan them to post on here some time. They're adorable!

It's nice to know that Jim's Father cares. His family is the type of family I want Olivia to know. Love that is easily shared and given.

I will take note, feel my heart break for my immediate family (Mother & Father) and know how I want my daughter and my grandchildren to feel. I love my family very much, but I never realized how screwed up it's been until this past year when I've felt the most live from the rest of my family. My sister took me in when I need her the most, my Grandfather (who has been such a pivitol person my life) has passed on, my Grandma is reaching out for our support as well with appreciative thanks during our mourning, and Jim's Father and stepmom have been a support since the day I met them.

Maybe my parents have changed without having children in the house, without havnig the responsibility anymore. Maybe I've grown up and realized that I don't need that kind of 'love' when I have something so much better here.

I keep thinking about how this town is dying. How there are no jobs and I should move someplace that does again, like NC. But, the love and support from my family in NY (all included) and even from my sister in IN despite her busy schedule, makes me want to just stay up here and make it work.