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Journal about motherhood, working, and everyday life. Dealing with the balance of life and depression... as well as making difficult decisions.
I've written under several names, Gabriel's Daughter, Linaklutz, Olivia's Mommy... it does not matter what name I use, it's still the same. Welcome to the DarkLight Abyss.
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Space. Time to miss me, but I'm losing the battle. Someone told me that this could be the greatest thing for me. This time will help me reflect on me. And someday I deserve to be with someone who loves me with the same intensity in which I love. I am broken, but I am healing. I stumble, but I shall stand again. I have many great things to offer someone. And I need someone who will appreciate me and all that I have to offer. I can't make this any easier at this point. I can't make my desires any more known. I deserve someone that has similar goals. Someone that loves and respects me. Someone that puts our love before selfish interests like drugs or having an affair. Or possessiveness and secret accounts... A relationship should be mutual, loving, and respectful. In absence, missing someone and saying fond words of affection are welcomed. I love him. But I don't need him. I'm learning that maybe the signs were there the whole time. I was not willing to let him go. We'd argue to justify his actions. I worked too hard to compensate for the lack of affection, love, and attention. Who was I fooling? Myself. He's done. I should be too. He sees a brighter future without me. I have been clouded with tears from the vision I thought we shared. The tears still come, but not nearly as constant. As I have no choice but to move forward, I need to move on. Some day perhaps I can find someone who is not ashamed to get down on one knee and purpose. Perhaps some day I can look back at this time with the strength and wisdom of being healed.
Technorati Tags: break up, devotion, love, move on, separation
Filed under: break up, devotion, love, move on, separation |
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