So I've been leary. And with good reason. I will let it go though. Let it go so I can have a future. Let it go so I can try to be happy. 

I am slowing gathering momentum. 

Losing weight, which is good, and eating healthier which is better! Down 2 pants sizes since I moved down in September, but I still have a long way to go. Not for anyone else, but for me. I need to watch my weight so I can be healthier for me, and so I can be around for the kids. Its not about being sexy for someone else. I decided I'm worth it. I admittedly let myself go.

I haven't always thought I was pretty, or beautiful... and its hard being depressed and having a low self esteem. Its easy to find comfort in food... but it was also easier to deal with the depression laying down. I understand people get depressed different ways. Each individual manages their depression in different coping techniques. I used to run. When I was in college, I wasn't super thin... but I was healthy. And I ran off my depression, my anger, my hatred... and I managed my self-esteem through drugs. When I decided to sober up and clean up, I moved. I stopped running. I gotta get back into the habit. Or well, at least walking or bicycling. lol

It feels good to make some time for me and buying those pants today made me feel great! Fitting better around the waist and legs, but grr... gotta work on the pouchy stomach and jelly rolls. It'll all come off in time. *Smiles* New goals, New Leaf. New Life!

This weekend is sure to bring in more surprises! Hoping for some positive changes and my heart is renewed.