i havent posted because i didnt know what else there was to say... and my laptop sucks. not to mention i am only on here because of my phone, so my appostrophies dont work. boohoo.

i will take the ten hr drive to Terra because she needs the support, and i care about her. its hard hearing her in pain and although i cant take away her pain, i can give her a hug. she is like a sister to me, its the least i can do.

i also feel, a bit, um, wow...  i am at a loss for words. i am missing... 

i cant wait on life. im growing impatient. i understand the implications, but sometimes... if you want something bad enough its worth standing on a few chairs to shout. 

i am not sure how i feel about the other contract job ill interrview for Thurs. its a contract job Nov-Feb part time evening and weekends, following up a previous study with people who lived 6-7blocks from the World Trade Center... i like the psychology aspect, and understand that although this was, is, and will always be a touchy subject....i chose behavioral science to help people. although this had nothing to do with school, this is the type of research i would to be a part off some day.

i am a passionate individual. i think that sometimes the hardest things we do involve things that make us uncomfortable. 

i cannot sit an hope that Mr. will tell me his feelings. I have complications, and I know hesitance. I also discovered that on my Android phone if I am blogging I need to HOLD the shift key to capitalize my letters or hold the ALT key to use special characters. Hooray for ingenuity!

i like... him. but i will not admit it. i also dont want to fall prey to someone else. sometimes we grow closer to friends in times of need and find us questioning. i can count my blessings though. there are reasons that things happen the way they do. i am just a pretty picture on the net and some words jotted on a page. i want to be more than that. but, I guess I'm too vulnerable right now to think clearly. 

It is 4:11ish (as my zero button is not working to type 4:O8... lol, I suppose I can close my eyes and see if I can gather any more rest. I guess what people look for in a relationship differs, I just wanted an emotional connection and companionship. And some day, I want a man to think I'm worth a fuss. I guess, that ends my recap... at 4:11am.