More prosepctive buyers came to view the house  yesterday afternoon leaving Olivia with a 40 minute nap all day. You should have seen her at 8PM, tired girl could not walk 3 feet without falling! Poor kido. But  very well behaved despite the overtiredness.

Recap: Spoke with Friend last night about money owed.and was provided a new sum fiance needs to come up with to keep him in country $8500, ouch. I wish I could be more lenient on what was due, but I can't as bills need to get paid. Hopefully they can make it all work to keep him here, if that is what she wants. Hadn't really discussed that with her. They fought so badly Thursday night, she ended up leaving her daughter at his house and driving the hour back here to sleep. Stress is aweful.

Jim was trying to get a job as a truck driver with a company that pays to get his CDL. Was overnited some info, but then after initially telling him the school in Syracuse was available, was told the next classes were in Indianapolis next week, and with my returning to work, we just can't afford the gas money to send him. Hopefully after I return with a steady paycheck, however long that is, we can afford to send him there to complete training. Salary minimum for the program he is looking at with placement in a job is $32-40k. Benefits are not so great, but it's decent money where hopefully if I do get pulled out of work again, we won't be so stressed.

I've been up and down with my beliefs in the past 4 years, but it is always hard after experiencing loss. I'll pray. I do what I need to do for my daughter. I have one healthy, viable, loving, adorable child that I would do anything in this world for. It is hard to rank order of importance of factors in my life with my recent decisions. I am too scared to put to words what made me decide to return to work. It is not that I do not value the life growing inside of me, but I hope to be able to have both. Enough of this, I don't want to make this any harder than it already is.

/ Love you /