It has been a long July and it is only the 10th. Had off the 4th, which was nice. Went house hunting, pretty good results. Still bit to hell with the bugs. Testing to be sure it definately is the mattresses. Family reunion Sunday. Worked the 7th to get off the 8th. Dad's b-day.

Of course, it feels like my parents only have 1 daughter as most relatives did not even know I existed. Great. Fun trying to explain I'm not my sister. Esspecially considering my father has 3 daughters. I'm not Mary. Sometimes makes me feel unappreciated and unloved. I know they try, but it still hurts. Cried after I got home. I think I was just tired of it all.

Those that do know me and know I'm pregnant, know about my previous losses, and know I'm working were concerned. I appreciate the concern. Just been quiet at work, and people been asking me why. I'm just tired. Exhausted really. Emotionally, physically... I feel weak. Maybe the baby is taking a lot out of me. I take my vitamins, I eat as well as I can afford... I walk at work and elevate my feet almost as much as my doctor requires. 

*sigh* I can't help but feel like a disappointment. Maybe I'm just depressed. Maybe I just need a vacation. Maybe I just need a day off of worrying. I'm hot. That's gotta be it. It's the hot hot summer, I'm pregnant, and eh, enough excuses. I need to get off the computer.

/ Love you. /