It's been a while since my last post. Mainly because I can't seem to organize my thoughts enough. Let me attempt a post while my children play temporarily. Let us proceed...

Tea Party
So Christmas was beautiful. Liv and Kara got a lot. I was blessed to get nice cookware and Jim got tools. Also got a gift card to Ruby Tuesdays, Yum. Work being the never ending battle that it is, since my return and then the V1sta training... then 100+ calls in que. Passed the 1st part of the Verizon UTB-R, still waiting on the results from the roleplaying portion. Life's just one big Tea Party, ain't it.
Phase 2
So attempted to also meet some peeps out for New Years Eve. Sis was nice enough to kid sit for the eve, so went to Dilengers... only too crowded for my own good. Jim's phobic in crowds. I could care less. Just felt, well... old. I'm no spring chicken anymore. Only 26 but I'm going on 40 surrounded by single barely legal baboons. *sigh* I suppose I'm just not as fun sober anymore myself. Way back when I was high on anything I could get my fingers on. Now I've matured or my patience tolerance has changed. A reason for nmerous fights with Jim lately.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Another sore spot lately, and maybe it's my lack of patience with the smoke situation. I HATE it, Hate it with a capital 'H' around my children. Have had numerous chats with Jim about his selfishness and lack of respect both for me and his children. He's started smoking outside of the house again, but God only knows how long that will last. We fight about it constantly. I'm tired of fighting him about it. It's either ship up or ship out. I can't have my children suffering because he's too pigheaded to care about anyone buy himself. Ugh. Sorry, still a sore spot. I quit smoking and I know I was pain the arse so I try and be supportive. It's just getting tiring saying the same ol' shit over and over again. It's obvious nothing will change until he gets his head out of his butt and admits he cares about his kids enough not to do it around them. I just hope it lasts this time. I know our parents did it (well, mine were nonsmokers) but their generation smoked around their children, but society has since learned the results of such behavior. What is history if we can't learn from it?
The Mean Green
Without going too into detail about my sex life, not that I'm ashamed, it's just some things should remain private... Jim got himself a toy. It's nice, but I don't want him to feel self-concious. It's a rubber piece that fits over his with nice ticklers. Again, don't want him to feel inadequate. I enjoy sex with out. But sometimes toys can be fun too. He's into bondage. Can't say i'm all jumping at being tied up. Sure I liked to be dominated, but lately it's been hard for me to enjoy sex. Maybe it's the meds. Makes my sex drive almost nonexistant. Did I mention that We didn't even kiss to usher in the New Year? Just wasn't feeling very affectionate. I feel like I'm going through the motions. Sure I love him. It's just hard for me to feel much of anything right now. I'm still working through depression. It's crippling. Lately it's been hard to even get me to move to respond to my kids. I know I have to because usually Jim won't but his attitude, esspecially at night since I've returned to work has not been pleasant. Jim doesn't seem to help with them at night and if he does have to, he gives me attitude. Aggrivates my depression and makes the sex drive even more diminished.
Sailing the Seven Seas
Kara has a 9:10am well baby visit tomorrow morning. Maines called me for a job interview. maybe I can get call and schedule it soon. Gotta post this now since Liv is vying for attention. I will try and update the look soon. I appologize for my lack of enthusiasm lately. For anyone that doesn't know someone who suffers from depression, it's hard sometimes to even answer to your own name.
~Gabriel's Daughter~aka Olivia's Mommy aka Linaklutz