Was writing at work and here's what I came up with...

I'm shaky, unsure, and nervous
Moments arrive when I possess needed confidence
But thougths drive me down
Below, my self-image rots
You stand patiently waiting
Knowing my internal battle
     is a result of your mistakes
Watching this rip me apart
I need space and patience
I lack the composure I desire
I lack the affirmation I require
I'm falling below comfortable
Anger beginss to swell at the situation
Then intimacy hides in fear
Fear binding hope and future
Just when I thought therapy was an aid
With less relief than I hoped
I find myself returning to where I began.

Second on I wrote is as follows:

'Mommy'
I love the sound
Pride engulfs me
'Mommy'
Say it again
'Mommy'
You are my world
My reason for living
I am your Mommy

I haven't written in ages. Have problem putting to words what I feel alot. Esspecially lately, that's why I've been a bit absent. It's hard to articulate exactly what I'm feeling. I've been torn. I'm trying to find myself again.

Can I tell you Pilates With a Twist and my Tai Chi Chuan are definately working me to the core. It always feels so good right after the class. Energized and balanced, but man am I aching! I stretch a lot at home when the girls give me some time. I'm working on me right now and it feels nice.

Also paid my mortgage early with a little extra to boot. Always an accommplished feeling. Last day at AIG was yesterday, not even any mixed feelings about it. Glad I'm done. Looking forward to a brighter tomorrow. I'll be playing the Mega Millions tonight! *Smiles*