Tomorrow is Gram's 80th B-day, and nothings planned yet for a fiesta in her honor. I'm not going to bug out over it. I would like to do something, but heck, I can't even worry too much about the kids' birthday part I need to schedule in Sept. I am trying to destress.

In Sales training at work. Not sweating that either.

Had a part time job to start next week, but I can't overwork myself. Sis is right, I shouldn't have to worry about it. He should. I spent today cleaning upstairs including rearranging Liv's room, empying the kitty litter which only gets done 1x per week when I have the time to do it, loading the dishwasher, doing 2 loads of laundry on top of folding the 2 loads that were in the basket from last week, and mothering the kids this afternoon solo since Jim's out of commission. He fell of the roof this morning. This is going to be a long week.

*Sigh* i can't even vocalize anymore.

I found out last Tuesday I have cataracts in my left eye because of the daily use of the steriod for the Iritis/UVitis treatment. No choice but to continue it, making the cataracts worse, because if I stop the steriod it could cause glaucoma or blindness. 27. I'm 27 years old. I'm lucky for my two beautiful laughterfilled children. My little pretty pretty princesses. I have this terrible fear I'll end up blind and at their graduation ceremonies I won't be able to see them. On their wedding days the guests will tell me just how beautiful my baby girls look, but I won't be able to see them. a little eye surgery will help the cataracts, but I need to find a way to manage my Iritis. There's only so much that can be done when I have a chronic condition with the required treatment causing other conditions.

I think this worry, this on top of many others is why I'm so short with him lately. Why I'm angry all the time. Why I'm frustrated in general. Everyone has a struggle, everyone has a story. I can admit I am lucky for what I do have. And I have a wonderful family willing to help and who stands by me no matter what. I just take one day at a time. I take a deep breath. I close my eyes. I exhale, and I force a smile. I force a smile while the tears slowly roll down my cheeks. I'm a drama queen, don't listen to me.

Well, I need to check on my lasagna in the oven. Yes, I am also cooking lasagna with everything else today... I can manage. I hope.