beautiful day

today was the most wonderful day. i'm sorry to tell everyone that was rooting for me dat me and my ex made up. i thought about it maximum and realized that fuck! i love him. no reason 4 loving him especially after all that happened. at first i thought that i was afraid to be alone and just afraid of life. but after i've adapted to single life and actually enjoy the lack of burden of a relationship, i realized that i DO love him. its real love. shit. and i decided that, even though i know there's a high chance he'll cheat again and i'm just setting myself up to fall so so hard again, i'm going to give him a chance. fuck the consequences. we both did alot of talking, not only today. for the past 2 weeks, it was like talking, just talk talk talk and i was so confused, so terrified of making the wrong decision. but yesterday, we decided to not just give it a try, but to put our maximum effort into it. because it IS a long distance relationship and only love is never enough but with hard work and effort, it could be wonderful. Nothing comes for free rite? the best thing is that, i didn't need to tell him all this. he already thought about him. he seems to have REALLY matured. he thought of everything and really did some serious self and life analyzing. i was amazed and touched.

' i am the cause of all your pain and sorrow. i want you to be happy again. and i want to be the one to make u smile again. and i want to be there to see it." those were the words that was my undoing. i know it might be sweet talk. but it doesnt seem like it. and actually, no matter wat, i'm willing to take the risk anyway. just pray to God that we will be ok. pray to God that we will be together. because, today, our first day together after the big break up, i finally felt like i belong again. and so did he. we didn't do anything the whole day, just roamed the city, talking, having drinks and 3 mcD! went shopping, did alot of walking coz we wanted to save money, and after discussing and talking serious stuff, we took breaks. we had a beautiful lunch date. actually we didn't do anything much at all. but it was so beautiful and i feel so much joy radiating from inside. i think it will be ok. we will be ok. both grew up and realized alot of the mistakes we made. and both love each other enough to want to try our very very best to work it out. both are stronger now. and both matured.

i pray to God. Help us to be strong. Let us be meant for each other.

10:16 PM - August 15, 2006 - post comment

Back together

Well I hope everything does work out, I just hope you are not simply caving in to this guy. Maybe he really has changed, but you don't want to be weak and let yourself fall in a cycle of letting him walk all over you becasue you cannot bring yourself to leave or try and trust anyone new. I know it can be hard to let go but sometimes that is what is needed. But maybe things will work and he really does want to clean up his act. But if he screws up again you shouldn't give him any more chances.

SilverWind - 3:48 AM - August 16, 2006

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