10/21/2006 - Not Seeing the Woods for the Trees

          One day my friend invited me to go to the woods to pick wild berries on a very hot day. To tell the truth, I did not want to go not because I didn’t like to eat berries but because I never developed a passion for picking them up. But I said, "OK, Tatiana, let’s go.  That is may be exactly what I need. Some fresh air will be good."

"What is this?" I suspiciously pointed at something looking like an old spotted rug that my friend put on as soon as we left the car. "This is my raincoat. You should put one on too. I brought it for you. Mosquitoes could be really bad in the woods at this time of the year." I forgot all about nasty creatures!  As much as I hated the idea of wearing somebody else’s old coat, to have to scratch mosquito bites didn’t appear like a bright future to me either. I put the raincoat on. 

"What is it now?!" My friend handed me a can. "Lydia, now you have to spray your face and hands with repellent."

"Oh, no! I rather die. It is enough that I wear your ugly raincoat. I scared all the mosquitoes off. I can hardly breathe already. Why should I put repellent on?" - I hated to even touch the bottle! But you can’t argue with Tatiana - she was a chemist and a wild berry guru.  We always had the most fragrant jam at her popular parties.

Tatiana was large and confident, and when I saw her pouring horribly smelling lotion into her hands, I simply requested,

"Tatiana, could you do me a favor? Your hands are dirty anyway, put the lotion on me, if you could." Tatiana was very generous and she liked to take care of me like I was a little girl. So she spread stinky and sticky stuff on my hands and my neck and all over my face. I knew at that very moment that every berry I touch would be inevitably poisoned.

"Oh, gush! I am poisoned! I can taste the repellent on my lips and my tongue... well, thank you very much - it goes down into my throat now!" The spray smelled like a gas that we studied in our civic defense class under the topic of chemical weapon - so I knew that the spray was not just poisonous it was deadly poisonous! 

I used to be a chemist too for God’s sake! I was worried about it all the way to the woods and didn’t put a single berry into my mouth because of that".

It was hot and humid even without the raincoat! But under it I was sweating like in a sauna, inhaling more and more of the spray but still trying to focus my attention on the berries, the only thing that still looked positive. It didn’t work really well: all I was able to think of was the poison that ran down my chicks with the sweat straight into my thirsty mouth. 

The mosquitoes - they cared less for the repellent and bit every inch of my open body. The face started feeling much bigger because of the bites. The skin itched and scratching it, I rubbed more and more of the poisonous chemical into my pores.

You know what? I didn’t realize that to find berries you have to almost crawl on the ground to recognize the berries among the grass! In the woods I am always afraid of a potential criminal behind the trees.  So, I tried to pick up the berries, almost crawling in the long raincoat, sweating and trying to check what is going on behind me - all at once.  I did not want to be killed by some crazy guy with an ax. You know all those childhood horrible stories!

Three hours later I was exhausted! I did not see the berries through the sweaty tears!  I was too preoccupied with the mosquitoes, the sweat and the potential danger looming in the woods. The bottom of the one-galloon jar was hardly covered with berries, but at least my adventure was over.  I found Tatiana looking so happy!  She bragged, waving her jar full of deliciously looking and wonderfully smelling berries in front of my silly face.  What a reward for unique ability to ignore the secondary.