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Today, Dan called me fat. He just blurted out,.. hey you are getting fat. 5'6" and 120 lbs and he calls me fat. I think that is amusing. I don't think I am fat; although, I have put on weight. I ususally eat at my work (a cafeteria), most of my day's calories come from that meal. Anyway, due to a new work schedule, I have just switched from a eating lunch there to eating dinner there 6 days a week. Instead of eating a huge lunch and then walking to class, I am eating a huge dinner late and then going home to study for a while and go to sleep. All that food left in my stomach just turning to lard. It really can't be good for my body. But that statement reminded me of why I like dan. He is so damn blunt and he doesn't even realize it. He is a bright guy and he doesn't even think twice about calling a girl fat. I respect how he lives. He just is. He is grubby, brash. And yet he lives in a way I will never be able too. I rationalize everything. I worry constantly. He lives so carefree. Life just is what it is and he is not going to question anything. A life with no worries. Must be nice.
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The concept of the kiss has been defined in multiple ways. Brian, along with much of the male species, says that a kiss is a form of sex. A kiss is a prelude to sex. For many guys any and all physical contact is simply a prelude to sex. Just the other day, I was having an awful day and was in need of a hug. I got my hug, but it was sided with some guy's tongue jammed down my throat.
I tried to explain to Brian why I wanted kissing without sex, but I couldn't make him understand. How could I make him understand, when I myself did not understand. I told him that, for me, kissing was mental, not physical. I said that within a kiss, I felt as if I could understand him better. I said a kiss showed personality. But what is personality? What is understanding? How could I expect Brian to understand, what I did not?
The kiss is like a promise. For example, in marriage, a kiss seals the promise that the groom claims his bride forevermore and the bride claims her groom forever hers. The marriage kiss is not merely a prelude of sex. The purpose of the marriage kiss is not to make a public display of the wedding consummation, but to make a public display of the couples loyalty to each other. A kiss is sacred and should be considered a special occasion. People run around fast paced, making out, so frequently that they do not realize the meaning of a kiss. A kiss is an action expressing words that you can't say. A kiss is like a smile, telling your partner that you are happy to be around them. A kiss shows your wanting to better understand your partner. A kiss shows your promise to love and look after them. A kiss is security, mutual understanding. A kiss should portray love, and love merely is love. There is nothing else like it.
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