I think there's a weird alignment of the stars the last couple-few weeks.  To start, in my office, there is an interim person who just started and who looks a lot like my last ex-boyfriend before my husband.  At least, it's not him.  I think that would just be overboard. 

But, the more significant occurence, is that because of this blog, one of my first exes, Damon, commented on one of my posts and I just e-mailed him back today.  I think because of my new co-worker, I was already thinking about my past relationships, so I had just recently thought about how badly things ended for Damon and I,which was mostly, if not all my fault.  And I also wondered where he was in his life.  So this was such a big coincidence it's kind of eerie, but in a good way.  It was good to hear from Damon and how things are going for him.  I'm glad that we bumped into eachother in cyberspace. 

Finally, I bumpbed into a former high school and college classmate at work.  She works as a post-doc for UC, where I work as an administrative assistant/supervisor.  We lost touch with each other in college and just ran into each other for the first time in like 10 years at least.  I hope to have lunch with her in the near future.

It's just so odd that these things are all happening "at once."  I wonder who I'll run into next.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/08/16/allen.volunteer/index.html

Virginian Senator George Allen is denying that his remarks about an opponent's campaign worker were racist.  The campaign worker in question, SR Sidarth, actually filmed Sen. Allen making the remarks not once, but twice!!  Further, Sen. Allen says he did not mean to offend Sidarth when he called him "Macaca" on both occasions.  He stipulates that he just made up a "nickname" for Sidarth, whose job was to film Allen where ever he went.   I'm sure that most intelligent, logical people can already poke holes in that statement.  At the very least I think that all sides can agree that Sen. Allen wasn't trying to be nice when he called Sidarth "Macaca."  If Allen wasn't trying to be racist when he basically equated Sidarth to a monkey, he wasn't trying to be complimentary either.   Sidarth, himself, hit the nail on the head - Allen was trying to point out to a nearly 100% white audience the lone minority, lone outsider. 

What gets me is that Allen continues to deny that what he said was derogatory.  Racist, maybe not, though I would argue it was, but he meant to make an uncomplimentary statement about Sidarth, he meant to single him out and he meant to ridicule him. 

I don't understand how politicians in this day and age continue to blunder through the race issue.  It seems at least once a month, either directly or indirectly, some senator or congressperson is making a racist remark.  And they tend to be republican.  I believe one politician, in reference to video games violence and their causal effect on violence in general, made a comment that upper middle class, educated kids aren't effected in the same way.  i.e. if you are poor, non-white child, you shouldn't play violent games because you may become a gang member some day because of it.  But if you are a white child of privilege living in the suburbs, you can play these games all you want and not harm a living soul. 

And people believe and follow these morons.  They give white people the racist face that minorities think they have.  That's how all white people in the US get labeled "The MAN" the oppressor of all others.  Is that right? No, but it's how it happens.  Hopefully this will be less and less the case as blogs and the like become more prevelant and more widely read as people see that stereotypes are just gross generalizations.  That people will be seen as individuals and not as a part of a particular group. 

Some days I wonder if that is just a pipe dream.   

The Terminator is running for re-election this year in sunny CA.  While his numbers were lower earlier in the year, Californian's seem to have the same short-term memories as the rest of the nation, and his numbers are increasing!  Hopefully, we will come to our senses by November and NOT re-elect this lameduck.  But I write because of an article in AsianWeek entitled "Arnold Dreams for APAs." 

Arnold is sent his campaign manager, Steven Scmidt, to smooze Asian American media and community leasders.  What saddened me was that one supporter, who felt that he could speak for all Asian Americans, said," Asian Americans want someone who is a doer, not a talker. Someone who will fight for us."  In his tenure as governor, Arnold has not done very much at all.  He talks big, but nothing happens.  Is that entirely his fault? Probably not as the political system in the country doesn't promote change very well.  But, what he has done is take back money lent by the school districts to him and reneged on his promise to return it.  California is not better off than it was 3 years ago in IMHO, Arnold has not done a damn thing for us as Californians or Asians.  He does not dream for me or any other Asian.  And any Asian who thinks otherwise, is saddly misinformed. 

Tomorrow Kiana turns 11 months old.  And while we've had a few patches of sleeping through the night (which means a 7 or 8 hour stretch from 8 pm to 3 or 4 AM), it seems that she's been waking up every few hours that past few weeks.  It's probably a stage, but the sleep deprivation is beginning to take its toll on my husband and I. 

We've gotten snippy with eachother, bicker, or have a plain old argument for the past 3 nights.  And usually it's about how to deal with Kiana's sleeping habits or development in general.  I feel like he doesn't initiate change, that I am the one stuck with making the decisions on how to put kiana to sleep, that I am the one who primarily puts Kiana to sleep at night.  I entered into a partnership and sometimes I feel like I make most of the decisions regarding our daughter.   I know the sleep deprivation plays a part in this perception, because Gary does do a lot, but it's so frustrating some times.   Even when Gary gets up to comfort her in the middle of the night, either the 11 pm or 2 pm wake up, she screams and screams until I go into feed her.  I know we've started some bad sleep habits with her, but it's hard to break when only one person is trying. 

Last night we only had on wake up around 1:30 AM, so hopefully things will be getting better. 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060804/od_afp/afplifestyleussocialbreastfeeding

The above link goes to an article about how a BabyTalk magazine cover, in recognition that August is Breastfeeding awareness month, depicting a baby suckling from a bare breast has created a huge backlash.  5,000 readers have written the magazine objecting to the cover and how it has "embarrassed" or "shocked" them.   Many women hoped that their husband wouldn't see it for fear it would make them uncomfortable.  

It saddens me that in this day in age, when Janet Jackson has wardrobe malfunctions and Tara Reid, Lindsay Lohan, and other young starlets are flashing their breasts at red carpet events for pure attention, that 57% of the people in this country think it is inappropriate to breastfeed a baby in public.  Hello!!  Breastfeeding is not a sexual act; it is a natural and healthy act of feeding one's child.  If men can stand to see their wives breastfeed at home, then they shouldn't be offended by the cover of BabyTalk.  You don't see nipple; just the curve of the breast and the baby suckling wide-eyed, looking up at the mommy.  It's quite an endearing picture actually.  

And the women who object are even worse than the men.  They are basically saying that a part of their bodies are disgusting and shameful. There's so much self-hate involved with decrying breastfeeding.  I say to those women - love your bodies, embrace your womanhood. 

Breasts were not made to be ogled by others, breasts were made to feed babies.  And we should be able to feed our children wherever we need to - in restaurants, stores, offices.  Should breastfeeding moms be discreet? Sure.  We can use a blanket or a napkin or those discreet nursing shirts to minimize exposure.  But really that's just to protect us from those sick perverts who like to watch and get off on it. 

Once I had Kiana, I realized that my breasts are not accessories for a tight outfit. They aren't impediments to getting a higher paying job.  They have purpose and give life and should be recognized and celebrated.  

Bravo BabyTalk magazine for putting breastfeeding in the eyes of the public and stirring the debate. 

I am married to the most wonderful man, Gary. He cooks, he cleans, he does the chores I hate to do. He doesn't mind driving me around. He respects my family and culture and most importantly, my family. I joke around saying that my family and I have adopted him, but there is probably more truth to that statement than anyone will admit. He has made my family complete.

When Gary and I first started to go out, his family accepted me (as a non-white person) quicker than my family accepted him (as a white person). Almost every single person in my family, with the exception of my exceptional late Great-Aunt Taiko, was not as friendly as they could have been. He had been the first non-minority guy that I brought home and seemed too much like the All American guy. But over the years, he began to win my family over as he demonstrated how much he cared for me and for our culture. How respectful he was about our traditions and how open he was to studying them. In fact, he knows more Cantonese than I do and studied Confucious and Buddhism.

Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.

Baseball Saved Us By Ken Mochizuki was blacklisted in New Milford, CT by the school board. This elementary school book is about Japanese American Concentration Camps during World War II and how organizing a baseball games helped get the kids through this horrible, scarring experience. So why would anyone want to black list this book? Because, in an effort to talk about the prejudice in this country, Mr. Mochizuki included the word "Jap" in his book. So a couple, Wendy and Peter O'Brien, objected to the work "Jap" and asked that the book be removed from classroom. "O'Brien, who is Japanese American, said the book offers a valuable lessons about tolerance, but a more appropriate book could be chosen." (AsianWeek Vol 28, No 47, page18)

I don't like the words "Jap" or "Nigger" or "Fag" or any other derogatory language. But everything has a context and sometimes in a particular context a word has more value. For instance in this case, "Jap" is used to educate children that words can be hurtful and that this particular word was used to defame and put down other people. As much as we would like everyone to believe, we can't erase the fact that the US was and I would argue, is an intolerant society. Not everyone in that society is intolerant, of course, but there is a history of intolerance that continues to this day. This book does not use "Jap" to further intolerance or hatred, but to identify it and name it. There is no need to ban it just because it uses one word in a educational context. It doesn't serve to make the word acceptable, just the opposite - it tries to highlight the fact that it wasn't acceptable and will never be acceptable.

People need to accept the fact that these words were used and are still used by some in a negative fashion and instead of trying hide and erase the fac that they exist, we should educate children on why they shouldn't be used and what means to use them. The hatred that is conferred by them.

I don't ever want my daughter to be called a "Jap" or a "Chink" and I don't ever want her to call anyone else a derogatory name. But I do want her to know why those words are taboo, the history they carry with them, the hatred they have been imbued with. So I will discuss with her these things. And ultimately, I believe that's what Mr. Mochizuki was trying to do - foster discussion on the "Internment" and the racism behind it.

This is my little Kiana keiki:

She was born on September 10, 2005 after 3 days of labor. I never imagined how wonderful being a parent was going to be or even what unconditional love really felt like. I love my parents, of course, but now I understand that instinct that would drive me to run in front of a train to save Kiana.

From the moment she was born, I was in awe of my tiny baby girl. Everything about her amazed me. Her tiny, tiny little fingers and toes that looked like miniature matchsticks to her silver blue eyes (which have since turned a grey-hazel). We had some scares early on - she lost about 10% of her body weight while we were in the hospital, but we managed to pull through. She is thriving and developing at what seems like lightening speed.

She is nearly walking and certainly mobile with her crawling and climbing. She climbs stairs like they were nothing and is even trying to walk up them like us adults. She loves the water and bath time is best part of our evenings. She is the happiest, friendliest baby in the world, at least my world. She waves at everyone and has a secret sign she shows everyone.

My mother-in-law, Joyce, keeps offering to babysit Kiana when we visit her in Sacramento, but we never really have an occasion to use her services because we want to spend as much time with her as possible. We don't often have the desire to go do something just the two of us. We marvel at how Kiana explores her ever expanding world and it delights us to see her curiosity propel her from one thing to the next.

Gary put it simply - "When I feel bad, depressed, upset, all I have to do is look her and I feel better." She is the light in our lives, the focus of our existence right now. I can't wait to go home to her.

Hi.  I am a first time mom to a beautiful and amazing little girl, Kiana Ayumi Mei Fung Kojimoto Hume. She just turned 10 months old on July 10th. My husband Gary and I are a little sleep deprived these days, but enjoying parenthood to its fullest. This is going to be my little corner of peace and quiet, where I can muse and ponder the delights of being a parent and where?I can rant and rave about my in-laws or about current events. I'm not a writer or an artist or even creative, so this will be a pretty boring place to be, but it will be all mine.