oh, i haven't been around for suuuch a long time. oh schiz. well. what can i say? except that i hate fitting rooms with a passion. the fluorescent light makes me look like crap run over. and the problem with being non-skinny (yes i am in so much denial) is that trying on swimsuits for p.e.'s swim gym ... is a nightmare. yep. just awful. but whatever. everyone's going all gaga over valentine's day by now. i have rants, but even being single, i... love love. i am not embittered. but i think about my first crush a lot. x3. tehehe. i miss him. different high school and all, but i wish i talked to him more. i could never not-forgive him. for like, anything. uhm, what else. it's candice's birthday tomorrow! yay! <3s to you, candice-dove. i'm baking cookies for you, right now. oatmeal. yums.

x; love, cass.

acks. my head hurts. seriously. anyway. the new semester has started - whoopee. new teachers and new classrooms and holy crap i'm all... shoot. i'm in the wrong room / wrong period / wrong grade! so. heh. interesting time. it's like the first day all over again. and that... was fun. sure it was.

so my schedule reads:
first period : free!
second period: still free!
third period: mr garcia, spanish.
fourth period: mr tillman, global studies. heck, he's awesome in his "draconian" way.
fifth period: ms choi, english. well, third english teacher, let's hope she'll stay.
sixth period: ms bernstein, art app. seems like cool lady.
seventh period: mr kalish, math. seems like nice dude.
eighth period: LUNCH. holy crap i got eighth lunch again, what kind of luck is that?! i'm starving by the time eighth comes around...
ninth period: mr bologna, swim gym. ew... pool... ... ... ninth period... everyone's already been in it... ew...
tenth period: dr runcie, biology. oh shoot, someone up there really hates me. why runcie? why? and again?!?

anyway. yeah. new term, new term, don't fail, don't fail!

x; love, cass.

oh god. i've got the sugarcult song stuck in my head.

like. ack. the lyrics to sugarcult's memory!

this may never start / we may fall apart / I'D BE YOUR MEMORY
lost your sense of fear / feelings insincere / CAN I BE YOUR MEMORY?
so get back,back,back to where we lasted / just like i imagine
i could never feel this way
so get back,back,back to the disaster / my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same
this may never start / i'll tear us apart / CANNOT BE YOUR ENEMY
losing half a year / waiting for you here / I'LL BE YOUR ANYTHING

yeahyeah. it's stuck.

x; love, cass.

This glass world

...I wait for it to shatter

We met beneath a tree again tonight, a night when the melancholy glow of moonshine and the winking white fire of the stars set everything alight even as the solemn tapestry of the sky was inky-dark. Even so, the light wasn’t able to soften the edges of our world, a world meant to be strong and sharp and deadly. Silence locked this forlorn landscape in an airless void, it seemed, and we only needed to wait for suffocation.

But none of that mattered while our lips and tongues sought each other, hot and demanding and needy; none of it, not when our bodies lined up against each other perfectly. Not when we were moving to a burning, fluid-yet-awkward rhythm that we both felt. I could feel the uneven pounding of your heart, the erratic throbbing of mine- our hearts weren’t beating in unison, but somehow the different tempos fit together in an exquisite, jagged way.

You filled my head with such ridiculous poetic notions of romance and then promptly broke those notions into a thousand pieces.

It started with me taking and I’m still taking- god I’m sorry I’m selfish, but I’m never going to tell you that. And those three words are too elegant- stupid, but a pretty sentiment- for this crude thing we have. So I can’t tell you that either. I’m taking as long as you’ll keep giving and maybe I’ll take even when you finally come to your senses and realize what kind of damnation you’re setting yourself up to.

I would have apologized, but it was a moonlit night and your heart wasn’t broken yet. And besides, you’re so goddamn beautiful, but you’re not graceful.

So how can I give you my world? I’d be just waiting for you to drop and shatter it.

x; love, cass.

ish my fifteenth birthday! ::spazzes-out::

x; love, cass.

who the fish are the chaldeans, again...? there goes my global history final. oh well. i didn't fall asleep for the last half-hour, no... of course not... don't look at me like that... ahh! okay. i'll stop the goofiness now. (yeah, right.) um. happy birthday tavio! <3!! absence makes the heart grow fonder. i mean, it really does. yeahh. i miss him. buuuut. since it's his birthday today, it's mine tomorrow. consecutive birthdays and all. rox my sox. yup, that's right. i turn fifteen tomorrow! ::victory-dance::

uh. fifteen sounds like such a lame age. never mind. ::eww::

x; love, cass.

it was lovely. =D i slept all day.

x; love, cass.

because i'm nerdy like that, i am in total and complete love with fanfiction. fan-fiction, the name tells all. where one borrows established characters to play with. and and and. i love romance. (i love love?) but hey. you can try to fit me into the romance-obsessed, naive highschoolgirl.

except that i like boylove in a lot of them. and some girllove. and a lot of straightlove. right now i'm fascinated with the way-popular naruto anime. because it reminds me of comics- you know, batman, spidey, teen titans, etc- how it marries comedy and tragedy. and the dark humor. mhm. why am i ranting about this now? i don't know. maybe because i just read a lot of naru x sasu stuff. yes. the oblivitard and the emotard. it's hard to give those two boys a happy ending. boylove! cheers.

x; love, cass.

midterms! finals week! ohmygosh! ::splutter-suffocate-drown::

that and i should really find out where the lyrics "i'll take you down the only road i've ever been down" come from. because um. yeah. i should. teehee!

x; love, cass.

ahh. dark ages. well, that's a debatable term since it all depends on what p.o.v. you take, blahblahblah. we're all getting so politically correct. i shall make an attempt... later. i don't know. according to my lovely ::cough-hack:: global history textbook, it was a vicious and brutal age of the barbarian kingdoms - that sounds fun, doesn't it - like... the balts, the slavs, the something-goths, some more something-goths, the lombards, the thuring-i-gave-up-on-this-name... and it is quite plain my attempt at political correctness failed.

::bright-smile:: well that's just too bad, isn't it.

er. i obtained msn. on the request of my new canadian friend. (wow. canadian friend. !! awesome. xD she's very cool. and she speaks french!) yeah. sharpie.angst@hotmail.com

uh. let's see. i finished muse asylum by david what's-his-name. not bad at all, pretty good. but not like everything is illuminated which was truly a brilliant (!!!) debut novel. everything is illuminated by jonathan saffran froer, i believe. it took me forever to understand some things, but it made me cry.

i'm listening to chopin's revolutionary etude. chopin is possibly my favorite composer. (god, i'm such a nerd. a piano-playing nerd.) but! redeeming myself, it is for music app. even if i am enjoying this piece immensely. xD not quite my usual rock-alternative-random fare. but this music makes me feel smart. (haha who am i kidding?)

okay. i'm done. finally, i know. ::whaps-self:: back to the lovely barbarian kingdoms. oh god. yes i realize. nothing in this entry makes sense.

x; love, cass.