how sometimes you just wanna whine and whinge and generally be a pain in the arse to anyone within earshot ?

Well, thats me today.

I've calmed down somewhat since ... oooh say about 2 weeks ago, but thats not to say that everything is peachy again.

I've re read some of what I wrote and it drags me back to about 6 years ago where everything was what about me.  I always feel stress when I can't control things and i must admit there have been somethings this month that I would like to change to suit me a little more but unfortunately, I'm not superman and I can't fly around the world in order to reverse time, nor am I a time lord like Dr Who (btw what a pity about Christopher Eccleston - he was the first sexy Dr Who ever) who can just t.a.r.d.i.s himself back to before anything yuck happened.

Not that I imagine I could do much about Dave as secondary lung cancer has a very definite outcome.

Our housing issue is still a little disconcerting but only for the next two weeks, on the upside of that I get to put in some wickedly beneficial time with my beloved niece.  Strangely enough, a walking gurgling little wonder of creation has the most amazingly calming effect on me.  There is just so much purity and innocence in those eyes of hers and its a fantastic way to lose yourself.  I've never wanted kids myself and I grow more and more certain of that fact as each day goes by, but this little being is just mending my soul in a way I have never known before. 

I know I'm ranting into mid cyber-space and that no one is listening (colour me suprised) but sometimes just knowing that I've said it is enough.  (flashback ... My friend misery, metallica - that just screams my head contents)

I know I have issues to work through, I know thats its always gonna be this way, just sometimes don't you wish you could get a break?

Over and Out