There are a couple other people whose blogs I read on occassion (well I subscribe to them because I'm too lazy to keep going back).

There is advice from all kinds of angles coming at me.  One person says counselling, another person says go to the gym, and another one says fight back.  Whilst all are good suggestions, counselling never worked for me in the past I'm not an open person (although my blogs and poetry can contradict that), going to the gym isn't an option financially, I can't buy a house if I'm forking out 500+ in gym memberships and fighting back, well, thats easier said than done.  I've fallen out with healthy eating buzz, although I'm still on the water kick so thats one saving grace, my work keeps me busy both mentally and physically although I could do with more physical stuff (damn paperwork never ends!) my sleep patterns are screwed as my wee poppet is teething and I'm a light sleeper.  I can't take sleeping tablets, had a little issue with them a few moons ago, I can't take anything too strong as I always wake up the next morning reeling from a med hangover, and I'm not actually in my own bed.

Shit I can moan.

Well its better that I moan here and not at home because this is my issue and no one elses.

Normally once I get my issues aired, I can go through them one by one and sort them out.  Its a case of rationalising the situation and assigning a case manager so to speak (this is where my many personalities come in handy).

Distinguish the different problems, prioritise them, delegate what you can, sort out what you can handle alone and if need be put your hand up and ask someone to give you a hand.  Thats my biggest problem though, asking for help has always seemed like a weak thing to do, like crying.  I cry and I hate myself for it, I just can't get past asking for help, I've always thought that if you can't sort out your own problems you're not much of a person.  Its something I've always thought and its why counselling never worked or never will.

I've never asked for help, although some may say that airing my laundry on here is a cry for help, maybe it is, just don't tell me you know what I'm going through, no one ever EVER knows what anyone else is going through, they only have their own perceptions of what someone is experiencing and even though they may seem similar, it is never exactly the same.  Its a fact I am quite vehement about.  Just as much as when someone says that they know you, boy do I lose it, how can someone else know me and who I am when I still cant quite figure that out yet ?

Anyway, I've septn enough time at work today, time to go play in peak hour traffic...