There is a shadow lurking in every darkened corner of what ever room, vehicle or open-space I occupy.

The unfortunate thing about having a shadow is their persistence to follow your every movement, to not skip a beat and to not even leave you alone for a second.

I am hounded constantly by her wanting my attention... every ... single ... waking ... moment of my day.

The really scary part is that I am functioning well at work, nothing is slipping, I even completed my Gym membership yesterday and booked in for my first classes tomorrow night.  My heart and soul want this change in my physical life as well as my working life more than anything I've wanted in over 6 years, but she just ... keeps ... pulling ... and ... fighting ... and ... pushing ...

I am so tired and drained and exhausted right now that my main concern is whether or not I can stand up without losing consciousness.  Scary yes.  I am so past the point of tears that I think I might be losing my grip on what little piece of reality I have left.

Every where I look I see her, not menacing or evil, just tapping her perfectly manicured nails on her cheek as she rests her chin in her hands, casually glancing at her watch.

I crave darkness, the deep blackness of pure night, no light, no moon, no sounds, no walls ...  in that kind of pitch blackness, I can see no shadows