This is my last week at my current job.

It's exciting and scary but hey, I'm 32 years old, time to act like a grown up even if I don't feel like one.

My new job is as payroll and admin assistant with a whole pile of PA and additional extras thrown in for good measure.  There are over 200 staff members (a big jump on my current situation where I am 1 of 8 full time staff) and its a 24/7 operation.   I'm working for a fairly large transport company specialising in cold storage and temperature and ambient controlled transport.  Ambient controlled means that the termperature changes with the external temperature.  It took me a serious amount of digging to find that out as I thought it may be something that came up in the interview.

I start next monday and I'm a little apprehensive.  It means I've lost all my incoming holidays but means I get a fair whack of dough when I finish this friday.  This of course comes in handy for squaring up those bills that have managed to get away from me lately.

BD has been working her ring out to pick up everything she can from me and her notes folder has become somewhat of a filing cabinet of late.

I have every confidence she will be able to do everything, she just needs to be put on the spot until she gets it.  At the moment she knows that I'm still around to fall back on and does so when things get a little tricky.  I think its a good thing that I am getting out now even though I have said it before, its defintely a family business and even though I have known these people all my life, I'm not blood and therefore expendible.

I do wish them all the best and I know they wish the same for me.  The work for me was becoming mundane and I spent more time organising their private lives than doing actual paid work, I had learnt all I could and it was time for me to move on. 

Now in a weeks time I will end up in BDs position, in a new company, learning a completely new job, in a completely new industry with completely different people.  The hard part will be finding my place in the personality pool, to see where I fit in and what I can achieve.

I'm looking forward to it ...

Today is the third and final day of protest for the guys up the road.  My office is in Ngauranga and every morning for the last 3 days I have had to drive past the multitudes of people lined up outside Taylor Prestons.  Yes they are causing delays on what is normally a busy highway anyway, but I think they are getting their point across, unfortunately for them, the morning commuters aren't the ones to Ok their increases. 

I would be insulted if I was offered a job at $9.50 an hour, as their Union Rep said on the news the other night, "at $9.50 kids dont get christmas, kids don't get birthdays".  Now I've spoken to a few people about this and there are comments ranging from, get a better job to stop moaning at least you have a job.  Even in my first job out of home at the age of 17, I bought home $313.00 and it was tough.  I didn't have expensive tastes, I didn't eat out all the time, but I had rent, car payments, phone and power to pay for, living on my own was my choice but it was hard.

How can a family hope to survive on that, rents these days aren't exactly cheap nor is power or food.  I could go on.

Someone I was talking to the other day said to me quite unexpectedly and I quote; "bloody maoris still looking for a hand out, they should get off their arses and do something for themselves for once", now although I'm short tempered and extremely quick witted, I was, for lack of a better word, gobsmacked.   I am a Maori, I can't halp but feel offended when someone who is not Maori says something like that, I am also a Kiwi and I am dead against land claims from 200 years ago.  I am proud of my heritage, and proud of my culture, it is my right to feel this way and I won't let anyone take that away from me.  But, when someone who has no idea of what it's like to struggle (not just as a maori but anyone) instantly pops out this manufactured bullshit, it irks me.

I told her to drive up the gorge and have a good look at the people standing on the roadside, yes, a majority were maori, some were also pacific islanders and there were some europeans there too.  To tar everyone on that protest with the same brush was uneducated and insensitive.  They aren't looking for a hand out, were the hospital staff when they went on strike?  Were the teachers when they went on strike? No.  They just wanted what they felt they were due.  Who would give up possibly 3 days pay to stand on a cold and busy motorway to hold up a sign and risk losing their employment for a simple hand out.  They aren't government departments, they don't get to walk away with a 6 figure sum in their designer pockets.

They are just hard working people who are grossly underpaid.  I don't know of anyone who would gladly work at a job for $9.50 an hour.  Teachers and hospital staff had one thing on their side, they were able to picket outside parliament, all the meat packers can do is stand outside their place of employment and hope for some support from the general commuting public.  I gave them quite a few honks, being that I go up and down the gorge at least 3 in the mornings, they not only got a honk from our company but they also got my triple airhorns in the holden.

Yes, I tend to side with the underdog, there is a reason, I would hope that if it ever came to it and I had to strike or I had to fight for something I believed I deserved, that someone out there in their comfortable job would support me even just a little.

In an extreme view, it would be a bit like seeing a fight in a street and the little guy was down on the ground getting the bejeebers kicked out of him, and the big guy was just hammering away, it would be like walking away as if you hadn't seen it.

I could go on and on about the injustices of employers vs employees, but unfortunately, I had better do some paper work before my employer kicks my ass.

toodles ...

I wasn't gonna make this a moany entry, but alas, the moans have gotten the better of me today.

I don't know whether its the hayfever or my intuition thats giving me grief this time around.

I know my allergies are getting worse as each day goes by, but I also strongly sense that I am being taken advantage of.

There are things going on at work that I am having trouble dealing with, they are out of my control but I do have the ability to make some input, the only problem with that is that my boss has this big belief in her head that she knows what I do better than I do.  I'm not being pig headed or full of myself, but I tend to believe that I do my job pretty well and being that I am a perfectionist I know that if I have made a mistake somewhere I will find it on the final sweep.

I get on well with my boss, don't get me wrong but she can really rile me up and as I WILL NOT lower myself to say anything in view of the public, it makes it bloody hard to just keep putting up with it.  If I could say it quietly without raising anyone elses attention I would, but subtlety doesn't work with her.  You've got to grab hold of her and tell her how much she is belittling you and that is not something I wish to do in public, So, I put up with it.  I put up with feeling subservient, dumb and less than her, as if I am there to serve her and I can be made a fool of, and that she is quite within her rights to do so.  I'm sorry, but if she was anyone else she'd be flat on her back saying yessah massah, not me.  I'm one of those people that likes to raise an issue as close as possible to the incident in question rather than wait, but as I was still pretty angry and full of utter resentment I couldn't.

The unfortunate thing is that this is not the first time it has happened.  In fact it happens 90% of the time we are out working.  The occasional time I have done something about it, I've done it in a way that is not belittling to either of us and yet she full on gets snarky and starts to act as if I am trying to tell her what to do.  Some people just can't take criticism no matter how constructive and yet blame free I try to make it.

I'm an intelligent human being and yet I feel like I'm being treated worse than a slave.

I've considered that maybe I'm over-emotional, I can admit that I am rather highly-strung at the moment, but as this has been a regular occurance I can safely omit the emotional aspect.

I may have to sit the boss down and tell her, the hard part of that is that I'm pretty sure I'll get all worked up and end up crying (over emotional / highly strung = not a good state of mind for confrontation) but its either that or hold this grudge slowly building up inside of me.

I will see how her and I both are later this afternoon.

Fingers crossed.

Tarn.

Today has been a good day.

My boss and I had good open communications this morning and we have both come to an agreement.

If I help her, she'll help me.

We're both missing Dave like crazy.  We are having a hard time comprehending exactly how someone so full of life can be here one minute and gone so suddenly the next (well not suddenly as in yesterday, but suddenly as in the space of 3 weeks)  We are coping well, I think we still have to reach the grief stage, but we are slowly coming to terms with his loss.

We've got each other and it helps that we have a good working understanding.  It goes something like this ...

1.  If one of us has an issue with the other, voice it, but not in public (our jobs entail us to work constantly in the public eye).

2.  Treat each other with respect at all times, if we feel we can't do that, take a time out first.

3.  Always be open with each other and keep the lines of communication open.

4.  Remember, we are friends too, but at work, employee and employer lines are not to be confused, under any circumstances.

With those 4 simple rules, we tend to work together well.

We have the hard task of going to Dave's house in the next few days.  His wife has asked that we come and pick up his work gear and we also have some personal effects of his that we need to return to her.

On a lighter note,  the two of us just wrung ourselves out working in the stinking hot sun this afternoon.  Shit it was good!  If I can keep this up I will be well on my way to a healthier lifestyle. 

I have decided to reward myself with a new tattoo once my upper body is in a state I would dare to bare.  A tasteful one, not too sure if I'll go for the opposite arm to the one I have now, or whether I'll go for the one I designed a while ago for the base of my neck.

I think it will be the neck one, I've wanted this one for a long time and I feel that the time would be right, not to mention, with less skin to cover and a more taut shoulder span, it wont take as long or draw nearly as much blood as the first.

Righto, I've got dinner with a very gorgeous 1 year old and I need to have a shower ...

Hometime!

I hope everyone else has had as good a day as I have.

Well, Not only do I have my first actual full labour weekend to myself but I can also move next sunday knowing that I don't have to be in two places at once.

The boss pulled the pin on the job and has said we can deal with it later.  So there goes major happening No.2 for the October from hell.

Just the move left now.

November is a new start.  I like fresh starts, a new suburb (well 2nd time I've been there but new all the same) a new house (which means I get to indulge in my passion for buying a new duvet cover), 2 days off and by the time I'm all settled in, I should be a new uncle.  Yay! (well I'll still be an aunt but I'll have a little nephew to dote on).

Today is becoming a good day. 

Always look on the bright side of life ...

Well my annual project has hit the skids.

For the first time in 5 years, someone has put the kybosh on my plans.

Today was the day that I had to tie up loose ends and just organise what time I was to meet the guys and the contractors, but that has all turned to custard. 

Things I have learnt today :

1.  Noise Control people are actually very nice and good at saying no

2.  Hotel managers are little hitlers

3.  Contractors are fairly flexible

4.  When its 10.30am here, its 7.30am on the Gold Coast (woops, sorry boss - not that she answered anyway)

Diplomacy generally means that someone gets the pointy end of the stick.  I think that today, I got the pointy end.  You win some and you lose some.

In order to keep all concerned in their happy places, I had to shelve the last 20 days worth of permits, trolley wire shut downs, contractor organisation and staff availability.

Although it appeared to the others involved that moving it from this weekend to next weekend would be easy, its not all that cut and dry, but at least I know I'll be busy in this coming week, not to mention that I'm moving on Sunday as well as working, I have Monday and Tuesday off though so therein lies my silver lining.

I've gone past the stage of being angry and seriously inconvenienced to being at peace with my inner temper-tantrum.  Its a rather calming state that I find myself in. 

Its happened, it took 5 years for something like this to occur, So, really, it was going to happen sooner or later, now that it has, its not that bad, just 20 days worth or hard yakker down the poo shoot but hey, at least I get my long weekend.

(not always a good thing for me to do) ...

I miss my dog, affectionately niknamed stoopid, she is as insane as I can be.  When I put my mind to it that is.

She's currently on holiday with my parents whilst we wait to move into our new abode.  My dog is ... how do you put it nicely, a fantastic source of light relief.  She does the dumbest things (hence the nikname above) but they are things that I currently miss.

I'm feeling a little tired at the moment, the boss is away for a week to "de-stress" and I am in the office plodding along doing work (except for this of course).  The guys are all out and about doing their stuff and the final piece of my weekend project job has just fallen into place.

I have some very boring accounts work to look forward to later this morning but at least its just bank recs and journals.

I had a fantastic tea last night, fresh terakihi with capsicums and chilli .... yuuum!  half a plate of salad and a great fat big glass of water.  Its unbelievable how much water I consume a day now, my water bottle is my security blanket.  I don't go anywhere without it.  It was quite funny though, I had a little slurp of fanta, jeebers what a sugar rush!  its no wonder that I feel completely drained now.  I think I'm on a downer.

Its actually quite stimulating being at work alone, I'm quite fortunate in that I'm out the front of our office and Dave's desk is no where in my immediate view.  I'm having all kinds of thoughts... epiphonies ...

More about those later ...

as for now ...

bring on the bank recs!

At last!  Confirmation for the worst job in the world has finally come in from the client.

Every year I project manage a shitty job in the middle of town in the middle of the night.  Its boring as all hell, I end up with a killer back ache (Ghosts of mtb accidents in the past) and I lose all feeling in my extremities.  The pay is fantastic, but I haven't had a labour weekend holiday in 5 years, next year I will though (Thats what I've been saying for the last 2 years).

It takes about 2 months to organise all the permits and the client gives me 25 days (including weekends!) to get it sorted.  Just as well my boss is the easy going type, the amount of ranting and raving (and expletives) that erupted from this foul wee mouth would have been enough to turn a naval vessel over.

So the pressure is on, I have to organise this job, find a new house to live in, deal with Dave in hospital, deal with the flatmates from hell as well as stick to my lifestlye choice (Diet) all in 20 days.

Good news though, I am up to 8 X 750ml bottles of water a day ...

Its Friday night, I am still at work, things aren't going too well.  Work is good, busy but thats always good.  Dave is sick.

Dave's one of those people who have been around for years, he has a lot of knowledge, he has seen a putt load of life (65 this august) and he has more energy and life in him than I do.  It started as the flu, he's one of those guys who will just wait and see what happens when he gets sick.  He's been waiting a long time.  He can't sit still, he constantly has to be doing something.  He hates being in the office, I think its because if the boss or I see him sitting in one spot for too long, he's afraid we'll make him learn how to use the computer that i put on his desk a month ago.

He has bugger all energy, he seems out of breath a lot, and for the 3rd day in a row, the boss has sent him home only an hour after he got in.   We had an incident in the office where we were all sitting around the smoko table having our morning cups of tea and he all of a sudden went purple.  I yelled at him to breathe and he got more of a fright than I did when I saw the colour of his face.

It brought it home to me that he really is sick.

He's a battler, Dave.  He's had hodgkins disease twice and survived, he even carried on working whilst having Chemo as an outpatient.  I didn't know him then as I was still learning to walk and eat on my own, but its a story that has followed him everywhere he's gone.  He's like a legend really.  He's an annoying legend most of the time but one that you can't help but love because deep down inside he really is an awesome "do anything for you" kinda guy.

Makes you think about mortality ...  Its not like I haven't been there before though.