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Mariah Carey smells like s’mores

Mariah Carey stopped by Ellen’s show yesterday, you know the one that’s still going on despite a writer’s strike. Mariah was wearing her new perfume, M by Mariah Carey, prompting Ellen to say, “you smell a little like s’mores,” by the numbers to People:

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"The marshmallow element you smelled before is the top note and was a subliminal thing " just to give you little campfire memories," she explained of her first-ever fragrance.

Mariah Carey smells like campfire treats. Wow, I was way off. I always assumed she smelled like postage stamps, crazy, and a bushel of cleavage. Shows how much I know. Of course, I do spend half the day with my nose inside a brandy snifter. Is the brandy supposed to go up your nose? Is that how fancy people do it? Because I’m feeling kind of funny. And by funny, I mean awesome, and no longer see the need to wear pants. Stop oppressing me, slacks!